


The Many Meetings of Sam Evans and Mercedes Jones

by TheLookingGlass_7



Category: Glee
Genre: Cheesiness, Crazy baby stealing plots, F/M, Teenage Pregnancy, Undiagnosed Post-Partum Depression, so much cheese
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-25 19:22:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 93,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10770807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLookingGlass_7/pseuds/TheLookingGlass_7
Summary: If there were ever two people that were destined to be together, it was Sam Evans and Mercedes Jones. After a few chance encounters throughout their childhood, Mercedes and Sam connect, become fast friends and pave the way to something more. But will a few chance encounters be enough for the young couple to fight through all the things poised to keep them apart? Warning: this fic contains massive amounts of overdramatic teen reactions and angsty soapy plots.





	1. Chapter 1

_Houston Memorial Hospital, Houston, Texas_

Mercedes Jones was born in the middle of a record-breaking hurricane season August 7, 1994. Just like the weather her birth was anything but easy. Her mother, Audrey Jones was going to pick up her son, Mason from day camp when her water broke. After 37 agonizing hours of labor, her daughter was born; her wail was the most beautiful sound Audrey ever heard. Her watery smile dropped as the doctors hurried to the newborn's side. She clutched her husband's hand for assurance that everything was going to be okay. After several minutes of doctors talking over each other and rushing out of the room the normally demure Audrey began to panic, calmed only by her husband's words and loving ministrations. When her OB returned, he told her that Mercedes had jaundice and needed to be monitored to make sure her liver was developing properly. She would be able to visit after they set Mercedes up in the NICU.

Sam Evans was born May 8, 1994 a full three months before he was scheduled to arrive. His young parents, who just relocated to Texas from Tennessee following a lucrative job offer, looked on in shock as they waited in vain to hear a cry that never happened. Their newborn baby, the newlywed's first, was turning blue. The doctors scrambled to try and make the baby with underdeveloped lungs breathe on his own. After a few failed attempts to revive the preemie, Sam was able to breathe with the help of a machine. Sam had been in the NICU at Houston Memorial Hospital three months before Mercedes arrived.

Both couples became fast friends while visiting their babies. They were amazed to find that when Dwight, Sam's father, sang to his son Mercedes seemed to be soothed, and when Audrey read to her daughter, Sam wrapped his tiny hand around his mother's finger. Even more amazing though was the connection between the babies. Their incubators were close together and as soon as Mercedes arrived Sam saw more progress than in the three months prior. He began to rapidly gain weight and his normally translucent skin took on a healthier color. For the first time ever, he was able to breathe on his own. The doctors couldn't explain the rapid improvement by merely being near Mercedes—it was the stuff medical journals were made of. The normally agitated and fussy baby no longer cried nonstop when placed near Mercedes and when they pushed Mercedes away for her feeding Sam's ear-splitting cry returned only to stop completely when Mercedes returned. In the three weeks that Mercedes was in the NICU Sam miraculously rebounded so well that he was able to go home with his parents when Mercedes was released. Both couples were relieved to leave the NICU with happy and (finally) healthy babies.

* * *

 

 _John Kennedy Elementary School, Houston Texas/_ _First day of Kindergarten_

Five-year-old Sam Evans stood outside of his new classroom after his parents dropped him off trying to be brave. He wanted to go home. He wanted to go back to his daycare where he knew everyone and everyone knew him. He was trying to find a place he could hide until his mom picked him up. This was too much. The kids were too happy, the teacher was too nice and the hallway was too noisy. Sam sniffled trying to stop a tear from falling when he saw a little girl crying next to him and looking at the door her parents had just closed.

"Are you sad," he asked.

The little girl nodded with her head down.

Sam wanted nothing more than to make her stop crying.

"I'm sad too. My name is Sam what's yours."

The girl looked up wiping her eyes with a smile. "Mercedes."

He was surprised when she gave him a hug, but he was happy that she wasn't crying anymore.

"My mommy said she'd be back at the end of the day. I'm sure your mommy will come back too," she said comforting the boy who tried to comfort her.

"Do you want to go in together," he asked holding out his hand.

"Yes," Mercedes responded and grabbed his hand.

Throughout the week, Sam and Mercedes were inseparable. They ate lunch together and sat next to each other during story time. Sam helped her with her shapes and Mercedes helped him read. She tried to teach Sam how to tie his shoes, but he got so frustrated he gave up. They made plans to play together on Saturday afternoon leaving Mercedes bouncing around her house all morning in anticipation. She talked her parents' ears off about her new friend and how they were going to play all day. When she heard the knock at her door, Mercedes eagerly ran to open it but stopped when she saw how sad her new best friend looked.

"What's wrong Sam," she asked beginning to pout.

"I can't play with you today," Sam said with his head down.

"Why?"

"Because we're moving away," he said finally lifting his head allowing his tears to flow. Dwight Evans was offered a job closer to his parents in Tennessee. Although accepting the job meant uprooting the family it offered a $15,000 pay increase and allowed for him to be closer to his parents, especially his ailing mother.

Mercedes didn't know what to do. She felt powerless to stop it. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him with all her strength. "But I don't want you to go."

"I don't want to go."

"Can you stay with me," she asked looking up into his eyes.

"I can't. I have to go," Sam said softly hugging her back just as fiercely as she was hugging him.

She felt hopeless and began to cry. It made Sam sadder to see his friend cry. "Don't cry," he said holding her hand. "I brought you something so you won't forget me." Sam handed her his most prized possession—his Hulk action hero he got for his birthday. He turned around when he heard his mother calling him from the car.

"I have to go. I'll miss you," he said running to the car.

"Bye Sam," she said holding his gift closer to her.

Two weeks after Sam left Mercedes was crying uncontrollably. She lost Sam's gift on the way to her aunt's house and couldn't find it anywhere. She took that Hulk with her everywhere—she put it in her book bag before school and slept with it at night. She carried it in her front pocket when she played with friends and placed it by the sink when she brushed her teeth. She even sat it on the kitchen table whenever she ate at home and on the lunchroom table when she ate at school. Without his gift remembering her week long best friend became harder and harder. As time went on all thoughts of Sam faded into a distant memory.

* * *

 

_James Wilke Summer Camp for Musically Talented Children, Chicago IL_

Ten-year-old Mercedes felt her whole existence was wrapped up in pleasing her father. Instead of wearing jeans and sweats, she wore dresses because he told her ladies only wear dresses. Instead of playing soccer, which she loved, she played tennis because he said 'leave the soccer playing to boys and the rest of the world, tennis is the only sport respectable young ladies should play.' She could suffer silently when she watched her friends play soccer while she had boring private tennis lessons or crossing her legs in a puffy dress when she wanted to be running around outside in the dirt wearing jeans. She never once complained, however, because as long as her father was happy with her, she could learn to change anything about herself.

All of that changed the first time she heard the plucking of strings on a guitar solo. She closed her eyes and imagined her stubby fingers gliding over the strings and laying her soul bare with the beautiful sound it produced. She begged her parents for a guitar; even researching free and reduced priced instruments hoping her parents would allow her to take lessons. The guitar spoke to her—it was the only instrument she ever heard. Her father crushed her hopes when he told her the guitar is not a worthwhile instrument to play. He suggested if she chose to play any instrument he would gladly pay for violin or piano lessons. So she did like she usually did—she chose to play the piano to appease her father, unknowingly letting the seeds of rebellion take root in her soul. After playing the piano for years she resented her father with every stroke of the keys and every recital. Every time her father paraded Mercedes in front of family or friends for impromptu performances her hatred for the instrument grew. The only problem was that she was good, so good that she got an invitation to attend the prestigious James Wilke musical camp in Chicago. Her father was proud—it was very rare the camp invited children from small town Ohio, and he soaked up her accomplishment as if it were his own. The camp was for Julliard or Berklee bound children adept in their instrument playing. The camp courted future composers, maestros, and superstars, and she was honored to be invited. Her father bragged about the invitation any chance he got, which only made Mercedes hate the piano more.

Which is why during her lunch break on the first day of camp when she heard the most beautiful sound, she had to follow it. She stood transfixed at the boy playing the guitar on the stage. He was in his own little world up on the stage closing his eyes and swaying to the melody he produced. Normally shy Mercedes didn't even realize she was walking towards the boy until she tripped on a chair breaking them both out of their reverie.

"Hey are you okay," Sam asked as he abruptly stopped playing.

"Yeah," she said looking down at her shoes and fidgeting. "Sorry."

"Don't be," he said smiling at her.

"You're really good."

"Thanks. What do you play?"

"Piano," she said, rolling her eyes, "but I want to learn to play the guitar. Could you show me?"

"Sure."

Mercedes' eyes lit up. She hadn't been so excited in a long time; she was never excited at the prospect of playing the piano.

"We can meet up after lunch," he said after seeing how happy she was.

"Great," she replied with the goofiest grin plastered on her face.

"Oh, I'm Sam by the way."

"Mercedes," she said pointing to herself. "Thank you for doing this. It means a lot to me. I'll see you tomorrow."

Sadly when tomorrow came, Mercedes didn't meet Sam after lunch. Her mother pulled her out of camp early that morning. Her grandmother passed away in her sleep and her mother was frantically making arrangements for her funeral. Despite her father's protestations, her mother knew Mercedes needed to say goodbye to her beloved grandmother and she knew Mercedes would need her family's comfort to get through the loss. Mercedes was devastated. Her grandmother's death impacted every part of her life. Gone was the shy wallflower who her father could easily boss around and a more assertive diva took her place.

* * *

 

_McKinley High School, Lima Ohio_

Sam, although being used to it, hated being the new kid. He hated it when he was five and had to go to kindergarten, he hated it a few weeks later when his family moved to Tennessee and had to go to a new kindergarten. Now that he was old enough he decided to control how others would see him. He immediately tried out for the football team since that was the easiest way to popularity.

Mercedes had a sneaking suspicion someone was watching her all week. She felt eyes on her when she went to her classes, when she talked to Kurt in the hallway, and when she went to her car in the student parking lot. When she finally looked up into eyes that were staring at her while eating lunch at the quad she was presently surprised. They belonged to the new football player and tried as she might, when his nose scrunched up in acknowledgment of her gaze, she shyly smiled in return. She felt a weird sensation take over her body. In that moment it was like no other person existed around the two. Despite never seeing him before there was something so  _familiar_  about the boy.

Sitting a lunch and watching her perform was the highlight of his day. He was amazed by her voice—she shouldn't be here singing with these amateurs in small town Ohio, she was destined to play in sold out arenas across the world. He couldn't stop staring at her; her beauty and confidence was intimidating and there was something so calming, so familiar about her presence. Even though he was risking social suicide he agreed to join the glee club just to be able to hear her sing. After meeting Finn and some of the members, he knew he would be able to fit in. Finn thought he was the deciding factor to getting Sam to join and Sam let him.

Despite being in glee club Sam was on top. He was dating a cheerio and was the quarterback for the team. He finally had the school experience he always wanted but it all felt a little hollow. He was shopping for Christmas presents when he remembered why Mercedes was so familiar. After getting gifts for his parents, Quinn, and Stacy, he went to the comic book store to get Stevie his gift. He hid his comic book obsession from Quinn because she said it didn't fit the prom king image. He knew his little brother would like some comics for Christmas—his favorite was Spiderman. He had a little time before Mercedes' Christmas party, just enough to get Stevie his present, get ready and pick Quinn up. He smiled at the newest Hulk comic—it was his favorite. He remembered having a Hulk action figure that he loved but gave to his best friend when he left Texas. The little girl's face lit up like the girl who bailed on him for guitar lessons at camp. They were both named Mercedes. They both had the same kind eyes and infectious laughter as the Mercedes from Glee club. Were they the same person? If so he had to tell Mercedes the impact she had on his life. Even though they were little interactions Mercedes showed him how being selfless is its own reward, and when he was frustrated with learning how to read music he remembered how her face lit up when he played the guitar. In their limited interactions, both made him want to be a better person, a better Christian, a better guitar player. He wanted to be  _better_. He quickly paid for Stevie's present and went to Mercedes' house early. He had to know if she was them. He knocked on her door eagerly but recoiled when she answered the door.

"Sam," she asked surprised to see him. "What are you doing here? You're a little early for the party."

They hardly spoke in Glee club and had one class together. All Sam knew about her was she was friends with Kurt and she sounded amazing, but she would probably think he was weird to approach her about a toy (probably a collector's item by now) he had when he was five or a music camp he attended six years ago. Throwing caution to the wind he sighed and said: "Mercedes, I know this is weird me showing up like this but I have kind of a weird question."

"Okaaaayyyy." Mercedes was interested to see where this was going. 

"Were you in kindergarten in Houston?"

Her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Yes, why?"

"I knew it was you!" He was so excited he wore an ear-splitting grin. "Come on Mercedes, you promised you wouldn't forget me."

She then gasped and covered her mouth as realization dawned on her "Sam? It is you" She gave him a warm hug. "I cried for weeks when I lost that toy."

"You lost it? I bet it's worth thousands of dollars now! It's probably in the same place those guitar lessons are…that was you in Chicago right?"

Mercedes was so giddy she laughed. She was amazed that they met before even more knowing what meeting him meant for her. Even though she wrote him off as a faceless jock, she could admit that this revelation made her wonder if there was more to him. "It was me. I was so sad I had to leave camp early. I really wanted those lessons."

Sam nodded and smiled then proceeded to put his arm around her shoulder and casually asked, "so you still want those guitar lessons?"


	2. Return to Kindergarten

The next few weeks saw Mercedes and Sam easily falling back into friendship like they were best friends their whole lives. Sam marveled at everything Mercedes was. He was ashamed he didn't approach her earlier and felt cheated he wasn't able to spend time with her growing up. He found that although things changed they seemed to stay the same. She was still the compassionate kind-hearted girl that made him want to be better.

Sam wasn't the most observant person, but he could tell that there was a layer of sadness behind her beautiful smile. She was very independent, but not because she wanted to be. Her parents basically left her alone and she often came home and woke up to an empty house. He realized she was lonely, but never asked for anything because she didn't want to be a burden to her friends. She seemed to give everything to everyone, even at the expense of herself. He had never met someone so selfless.

She was a walking contradiction. She was so loud and assertive outwardly but so reserved and quiet inwardly. If you didn't take the time to look you would write her off a being bold and courageous but just below the surface you could find her insecurities. Sure they sometimes bubbled to the surface but quickly left as fast as they came. She rarely took off her mask. She seemed so complicated, but she was overly simple. She just needed someone to truly listen and take all she had to offer without turning their back on her.

The more time he spent with her, the surer he was that he would be that person. He would shoulder her pain and find ways to make her smile. He would protect her and listen. He would unmask her and show the world how amazingly beautiful she really was. After all, he decided she was the best friend he could ever have a long time ago and he never broke a promise.

When they decided to meet for guitar lessons after Glee, he was more excited to be teaching her than she was to be learning. He was insecure about many things—his body, his comic book obsession, and his popularity to name a few but when he played the guitar he was in his element. He was excited to share something that was so essential to his being with his newfound best friend. He paced in the choir room waiting for her to get her guitar out of her car. When she came back her smile was dazzling. She looked so innocent and happy in that moment. This obviously meant something to her. He was honored that she asked him to share it with her. He was honored to be around her.

"Hey," he said as she inched closer to her.

"Hey Sam," she replied a little breathless. "Sorry it took so long. I was late this morning so I had to park further away."

"No worries, but I have a question for you"

"Yeah," she said slowly, trying to gauge whether or not she would like where his question went before he asked it.

"Why do you want to learn how to play the guitar?"

"Well, I used to listen to my grandparent's old records and I don't know the guitar spoke to me."

"It spoke to you? What did it say?"

"Ha ha very funny," she rolled her eyes. "I mean when I heard the chords I felt like it could answer any question I had or soothe any ache. I know it sounds weird, but it felt like something clicked in me. Like I was finally whole."

"Wow, I don't think I've ever had a connection like that to anything. Well, let's get started"

"One more thing Sam," she grabbed his arm gently. "Can we keep these lessons between us? Some people don't think it's best to learn the guitar."

His brows furrowed at her remark. As much as he wanted to, he decided not to ask why. "Okay, but you should know I kind of already told my family".

"First things first let's get you used to holding her," he said rubbing his hands together. "Then we'll go on to learning the different parts of the guitar and I'll show you a few chords."

"Great. Thanks so much Sam," she said hugging him so fiercely it left him a little winded. "You have no idea how much this means."

They began their lesson and he smiled at how focused she was. It was as if she concentrated all of her thoughts and movements on the chords she played; at this rate she would be learning whole songs soon.

"That was great jellybean!"

"Jellybean? Why'd you call me that Sam?"

"Um well," Sam started rubbing his neck. He was a little embarrassed he said it out loud seeing as he had been calling her that in his head since he realized who she was. "When we were little I remember trying to teach you shapes using purple jellybeans—"

"Because I loved the color but hated the flavor," she finished smiling up at him. "I like it."

"I'm glad," he said touching his forehead to her own. They locked eyes and the moment breached the barrier between friends into something more, encroaching on dangerous territory.

Unfortunately for the two, they had an audience. When Quinn looked in the choir room, her heart dropped. She saw Sam and Mercedes laughing and playing guitar in their own little world. He never laughed with her. He never stared at her with the same intensity he was staring at Mercedes. Since Christmas, she felt him pulling away. She liked the newness of him—he wouldn't judge her for anything that happened last year and he adored her. She latched onto him and the feeling he gave her. He saw her as perfect, so she was perfect. It felt nice to be able to sweep everything that happened last year under the rug. Of course, it meant she pushed away some genuinely nice people trying to erase her past pain—losing Puck, Mercedes and the Jones' especially hurt, but they were collateral damage. She became resolute that no one, Mercedes "soul-sister" Jones included, would get in the way of her newly minted perfection.

Mercedes had to close her eyes to stop staring at him. It wasn't hard to realize her feelings towards him may be more than friendly. Reconnecting with him was like a blast of cool air clearing the cobwebs away from her jaded heart. He was her own personal superhero and these feelings were scaring her. 'Liking someone with a girlfriend is a surefire way to get your heart broken,' she constantly reminded herself as she tried to ignore the rush she felt whenever he touched her. Coughing she slowly removed her forehead from his and stood up. "Wow, it's getting kind of late. Can we continue this tomorrow?"

She was beautiful and it scared him. He should be focusing on how lucky he was to have Quinn but he couldn't take his mind off of his friend. She was stunning, everything about her breathed beauty and life, but she was his best friend and he had a girlfriend. He snapped out of his musing when she removed her forehead from his. "Yeah," he said, remembering she asked him something. "Same time tomorrow?"

"Sounds good"

"Come on jellybean, I'll walk you to your car."

When they got to her car and hugged he was reluctant to let her go. He knew he wasn't being fair to Quinn, but when he was with Mercedes, Quinn was the farthest thing from his mind. He stood and waited for her to drive off before he would walk to his car, only her car wouldn't start. He smiled inwardly because this meant their time together wouldn't be over. Tapping on her driver's side window he asked: "you need a ride?"

"Oh no, don't worry about me. I'll call Burt to see if he can pick up my car."

"Mercedes it's dark and the shop is closed. I'm not leaving you here. Come on. I won't take no for an answer."

She rolled her eyes and grabbed her guitar while he grabbed her bookbag. "Fine," she said surprised at how easily she gave in. "Thanks, Sam."

"Hey are you hungry," he asked after driving for a few minutes in comfortable silence.

"I'm fine. I'm sure my mom left some money for food before my parents left."

"You're going home by yourself?"

"Yeah it's no big deal," she said trying to hide her sadness. "It happens all the time."

"I'd be the worst best friend in the world if I dropped you home to eat by yourself. I'm taking you to my place. You can meet my parents Stevie and Stacy. Trust me spending a few hours with them will make you want to run back to your place."

She laughed at that. He was trying to make her feel better and she loved him for it. 'Love in a strictly platonic way', she admonished _. "_ I'd like that"

"Good cause we're already here," he said killing the engine and running over to her side to open her door after closing his own.

Opening the door two children ran over to Sam wrapping their arms around his legs. "Sammy you're home," they cheered.

Looking at the adoration they had for their big brother made Mercedes miss her own. It didn't help that they were four years apart and he hardly came home.

"Hey guys," he said while Stevie looked up curiously at Mercedes.

"Who's this," Stevie asked Sam pointing to the short girl standing in their doorway.

"Stevie," Stacy reprimanded. "Don't be rude." Stacy removed herself from Sam's leg and stretched her hand out. "Hi, my name's Stacy," she beamed.

"Nice to meet you, sweetie," Mercedes returned, shaking the little girl's hand.

"She pretty," Stevie whispered to his big brother. "Too bad you're with Quinn."

"Stevie, Quinn's beautiful," Sam said trying to defend his girlfriend.

Stevie shrugged. "I don't see it. Not my type." He walked over to Mercedes to introduce himself.

Mr. Evans came into the living room and greeted Sam and Mercedes with a big grin. "Hey sweetheart, are you planning on stayin' for dinner? We'd love to have you."

There was something so soothing and melodic about Mr. Evans voice. She wanted to ask him a litany of questions just so she could hear him speak again.

"I'd like that very much, Mr. Evans."

"Sam, go tell your mom that we have company."

Mercedes enjoyed spending time with the Evans. Their home was full of love and laughter. They seemed to genuinely care about each other. She couldn't remember the last time her family sat down to eat together. She couldn't remember the last time she laughed so much.

"So you're the infamous jellybean my son won't stop talking about," his mom said. "It's been jellybean this and jellybean that since Christmas."

Mercedes looked over at Sam who had his head down concentrating on his plate.

"I can't believe you met in kindergarten. This boy cried for months that he had to leave his best friend behind in Houston."

Sam was convinced his parents were trying to kill him. He was dying of embarrassment at the kitchen table and nobody seemed to care.

"I'm really happy to have him back in my life," she said trying to divert attention away from her red-cheeked best friend.

Finally picking up on his son's embarrassment, Dwight addressed Mercedes. "So Sam told us you asked him for guitar lessons. Is there a particular song you really want to learn to play?"

"He did," Mercedes asked looking at Sam whose eyes never left his plate. Maybe he has been talking about me, Mercedes thought.

" Honestly I'll be really happy if I'm able to play a note," she said to the elder Evans. "But I really want to learn Good Morning Starshine from Hair."

"Why that song sweetie," Mrs. Evans asked.

"Well, when I was younger I used to go to my Grandmother's house every Saturday. She had the best record collection and I would play them for hours. I listened to Good Morning Starshine as soon and I got to her house and right before I left every Saturday and one day she surprised me with tickets to see the play on Broadway. Watching it live made me want to be a performer. That song made we want to play the guitar. It was the best day of my life."

It wasn't lost on the patriarch that his son hung on the girl's every word. He would need to have a conversation with Sam about his feelings for Mercedes and Quinn before something bad happened.

"No pressure Sam, but you better teach that girl how to play that song properly," Dwight warned.

Stevie diverted all of his attention to his meal, finding it much more interesting than the conversation going on.

"When you learn the song, will you play it for us," Stacy asked, shifting her peas around her plate.

"It would be my honor," Mercedes said smiling at the girl.

After dinner, Sam and Mercedes washed the dishes. Although Mrs. Evans politely declined her offer, never allowing guests to wash dishes, Mercedes insisted.

As Sam was driving Mercedes home she stared at him smiling.

"What, "he asked feeling her eyes on him.

"Thanks for suggesting I come over Sam. Your family is amazing"

He let out an incredulous chuckle. "Did they pay you to say that?"

"No. They are. Your house is so warm and comfortable. Your family was so welcoming."

"Well, they loved you. I'm sure you're welcome anytime."

"Be careful Hulk, I might hold you to that."

"Hulk," he asked taking his eyes off the road to look at hers.

"Yeah, like the doll you gave me."

"It wasn't a doll," Sam whined. "It was a collector's item, an action figure. You're killing me Mercedes."

She laughed at him. "Yeah Yeah. Do you like it?"

"I love it," Sam said smiling at his nickname.

Over the next few weeks, Sam and Mercedes spend most of their time together. Instead of eating lunch with Quinn in the cafeteria, Sam began eating lunch with Mercedes on the quad. They had a secret handshake and sat next to each other in Glee. They even had a notebook they would write in between classes and pass off throughout the school day. It was sickening. The final straw for Quinn came when Becky asked "How can you be prom queen when Mercedes owns your king?" Quinn was going to have to give Sam an ultimatum—his best friend or his popular head cheerleader girlfriend. Poor Mercedes, there was no competition.

Mercedes was not having a good day. She was late for school cause her alarm was set for PM and not AM, and she spilled coffee on her sneakers. Rushing to the bathroom in the deserted hallways she saw something when he turned the corner that she desperately wished she could unsee—Finn and Quinn kissing. Her breath hitched, she was so mad at them. How could they do this to Sam? She had to say something to Sam, but she felt sorry for Quinn. She knew firsthand how difficult last year was and it seemed she was never able to cope from it. Maybe if she had a rational conversation with the girl Quinn would see it as a wake up call and try to get help.

Before glee, Mercedes ran into Finn and Quinn again as Quinn told Finn she might love Sam and Finn told her she didn't. She waited until they parted to confront Quinn about what she saw.

"Quinn, can I talk to you for a second?"

Quinn rolled her eyes, annoyed by the interruption. "Sure."

"What you're doing is wrong. You have to tell Sam."

"Excuse me," Quinn replied feigning ignorance.

"Sam's a good guy and he doesn't deserve what you're doing to him. For some twisted reason I still feel loyal to you so I'm giving you time to tell him yourself. If you don't tell him by the end of the week, I will."

"Look," Quinn said irritated. "I'm glad you two are friends but don't you think it's a little unhealthy to latch onto my boyfriend?"

"Latch on? I know this is a difficult concept for you to grasp, but he's my friend. I didn't latch onto him. We enjoy each other's company. You'd know that if you had any idea what a friend is."

"Please you and Sam are hardly friends. You look at him like a little puppy, just like you used to look at Kurt. You know how confused you get when boys pay you any attention. I'm only going to tell you this once—stay away from him or your life will become very unpleasant."

"Somewhere in that hollow shell you call a heart is the girl I used to know. I advise you find her because this right here," Mercedes said pointing to Quinn "is a train wreck, and if you ever threaten me again, it will be the last time you draw breath. Understood?"

Quinn couldn't win this battle, but she would be sure to draw first blood in the upcoming war. "Understood," she said ominously. "I'll tell him. Just give me more time."

"End of the week," Mercedes repeated already walking down the hall to Glee.

She could kill two birds with one stone—Mercedes could be pushed out of Sam's way and she would be punished for threatening Quinn. Staying with the Jones' helped Quinn discover Mercedes weaknesses. Mercedes was tough but was a coward when it came to her father. 'I wonder how Mr. Jones would feel if his daughter was playing the guitar,' she mused remembering how solemn Mercedes face would get when he went on tirades about how the guitar was a poor man's instrument and how no daughter of his would ever play one. Without a second thought, she pulled her phone out and scrolled down to his number.

"Mr. Jones," Quinn said innocently. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm worried about Mercedes…"

Things were tense, to say the least the following day in Glee. Sam had been cold to Mercedes since lunch. When she smiled as he entered he just stared at her with a hard expression on his face deciding to sit far away from her. She noticed Quinn wasn't spared from this cold treatment. He shrugged as she tried to touch his shoulder to get his attention. For the first time since they began, Mercedes was not looking forward to today's guitar lesson.

"Are you ready," Mercedes asked before Sam stared at her.

"Were you going to tell me," he asked.

"Tell you what," she asked halfheartedly, already knowing.

"Stop playing games Mercedes. You knew Quinn was cheating on me with Finn and you didn't tell me. I had to find out from Santana."

"Santana," Mercedes asked smelling a rat. She doesn't do anything without something in return. "Why did she tell you?"

"Why didn't you," he yelled. "I thought you were my best friend, the last person that would ever hurt me. How could you keep this from me? Did you enjoy watching her make a fool of me?"

"No Sam It's not like that."

"Then what's it like?"

"Yes I knew but I warned her to tell you or I would."

"So you put your friendship with her, the same friendship she threw away, over ours?

"Sam, look," she pleaded. This was not going well.

"No--you look," he said. "I have a new girlfriend. I'm done with girls who cheat on me and I have enough friends. I'm done with friends who hurt me." Sam stormed out of the room leaving a hurt and angry Mercedes behind.


	3. Secret Meetings

Walking around school, Sam Evans was miserable. Sure he was still popular and he still had Santana (whenever she wasn't draped on Brittany) but did popularity matter anymore? He lost his starting position and girlfriend to Finn, but he lost his best friend to his own temper. He said yes to Santana because she told him the truth, but when Sam thought about it, aside from a bruised ego, he didn't care that Quinn kissed Finn.

He did care that Mercedes was ignoring him and what's worse she seemed to be enjoying herself. He spent lunch by himself in the cafeteria while she laughed with Tina, Mike, and Artie on the quad. He looked at her longing for her to write something in their notebook while she focused harder in class. He stared at her in Glee while she sat far away from him, sometimes turning her back to him. He tried to will her to look at him and every time she did he gave her a big smile only to be met with a scowl or an eye roll. He was depressed and she was having the time of her life. He needed her more than she needed him-he was okay with that as long as she never forgot he needed her.

As soon as he walked away from her that day he knew he was wrong. Yes, she could have told him, but he didn't really give her a chance to. Quinn was an old friend and he knew how loyal she was to her friends. Besides, what good is being right when it meant losing his best friend? He had to fix this—the past week was like walking around without an appendage and having her in his life made him sad for the lost time without her.

Mercedes was mad. He walked away without her explaining. He wouldn't let her get a word in edgewise! If he was going to act like that she didn't need him in her life. Besides, she was used to losing friends, her relationships were like a revolving door and she was going to channel all of her strength into improving herself. Okay, she could admit that she was wrong for not telling him as soon as she found out but that didn't mean he had to jump down her throat. She also knew that shutting him out and ignoring him was not the mature response, especially when he wasn't 100% wrong, but she didn't care. She was stubborn and she didn't want to make the first move.

Dwight had been watching his son the past week. It seemed like the sparkle in his eye was gone and he was merely going through the motions. He also noticed that when anyone asked about Mercedes, his son got very quiet or tried to change the subject. Dwight knew something must have happened between the two and judging by how his son was acting it couldn't have been good. He also knew that his son was blissfully unaware of the feelings he has for his "best friend". All of his son's Mercedes issues compounded with the general issues of being a hormonal, self-conscious teenager amounted to the perfect storm of disasters, and Dwight was resolute to try and help his son navigate through it all relatively unscathed.

Stepping into his son's room and gently removing the headphones on his ears, Dwight asked his son "How have you been?"

Sam was startled by the question. He didn't notice anyone was in his room. He zoned out listening to music and reading a comic. "Fine," he replied with a gentle shrug of his shoulders.

"No you aren't. What's really going on? You've been down lately and as much as I enjoy Stevie being quiet, I haven't seen my favorite future daughter–in-law for a while."

After hearing this, Sam snapped his head in his father's direction and asked "daughter-in-law"?

"Your little brother is determined to marry Mercedes. The boy is relentless," Dwight chuckled.

It didn't go unnoticed that as Dwight mentioned Mercedes he saw his son tense up and his whole demeanor changed. "Yeah, he's like a dog with a bone. Maybe you should be giving him the talk soon."

"Oh he's harmless, but frankly I'm a little worried about you."

"Why," Sam asked. "I've been really working hard in school and thinking about trying out for the baseball team since football's over."

"I know you have been working hard son," Dwight offered an assuring shoulder squeeze, "and I couldn't be more proud of you. I think it's great that you're trying out for the baseball team but I want you to take some time and sort out your feelings. You don't want to string anyone along or unintentionally hurt someone because you're afraid to admit how you feel. Quinn and Mercedes deserve better."

Sam chuckled and rolled his eyes when his father mentioned Quinn. "I broke up with Quinn when I found out she cheated on me and I'm not talking to Mercedes because she knew and didn't tell me."

"Whew," Dwight said as he scratched his head. "That's an interesting situation you find yourself in."

"No, it's all going fine," Sam said trying to convince himself more than his father. "I have a new girlfriend, one who told me the truth about Quinn and really when you think about it I haven't known Mercedes that long to have been running around calling her my best friend. See? No harm, no foul. You don't have to worry about me anymore."

"Oh but you're wrong, I need to worry about you more. Going out with someone because you're trying to make your ex-girlfriend jealous is not a good enough reason to be in a relationship and neither is starting a relationship to punish your friend. You can't just hop from one girl to the next. Do me a favor? Take it very slow with this one and think about the reasons why you're in this relationship and why your previous one didn't work. Then think about why you showed more passion towards Mercedes than you did for your current and former girlfriends. I want you to be cautious and responsible with these young women, understand?"

Sam didn't even try to protest—he knew his father was right. Furthermore, what his father said made him panic. He thought he hid his not so friendly feelings towards Mercedes well, but judging from his father's words he appeared to be only fooling himself. He wondered who else saw it too. Not trusting his words, Sam simply nodded his answer as his father left his room. He knew he had a lot to think about.

Carl Jones was irritated. He had back-to-back root canals and the electricity to his practice kept shutting off. He was getting nowhere selling his father's house after he moved into a senior's center and the house was becoming an eyesore. To top it all off he got a call from his surrogate daughter who told him some news about his daughter that disturbed him. He wasn't sure what got into Mercedes, but he never knew his baby to be willingly deceitful. If it weren't for Quinn, her ruse would have continued. He was mad at Mercedes for putting sweet Quinn in a position that would make her hide something from him and was grateful that she told him. He was all about keeping up appearances and having someone else tell him something about his child would make him look particularly foolish.

After he hung up with Quinn, he went in search for the guitar, which he found in her room closet. With anger darkening his features, he took the offensive instrument out of its case and placed it in his home office. Then he beckoned Mercedes there so they could have a little chat.

When Mercedes stood in her father's office and saw her guitar she knew things were about to go from bad to worse. A small part of her hoped her father would hear her out and respect her wishes but a larger, more jaded part knew he wouldn't budge on his stance.

"I'm very disappointed in you young lady. I consider myself a fair man and an excellent judge of character. You know how I feel about you playing the guitar. I thought I gave you sound alternatives in the piano and violin."

She didn't even look him in the eyes. She stared at her guitar with a terrified expression. Her eyes stayed glued to her guitar like a mother silently guarding their baby. "But dad—"

"No buts! You used to be a maestro, you got into that prestigious camp and I was so proud of you. I was kind enough to overlook the money I wasted on piano lessons for you to quit a few years ago and this is how you repay me? Sneaking around and wasting your talent on that damned instrument," he said snarling at the guitar beside him.

"I hated playing the piano. I only did it to make you happy. I always wanted to play the guitar and I won't stop. I don't give a damn how that makes you feel," she said finally looking at him with a steely determined expression.

"Oh so this is what happens when you play guitar, you get a little attitude and start disrespecting your elders. You better leave this office and come back with my daughter because my little girl is always respectful and obedient. If this is what that thing causes, I don't want you anywhere near it, and since you don't seem to understand what I'm telling you, I'll make it easier."

The whole thing happened so fast Mercedes thought she was in a nightmare. She watched as her father grabbed something that meant the world to her and smashed it in his office, thrashing it on the ground twice and kicking it for good measure. As she watched her father literally crush her dreams, something inside her snapped. Her blood began to boil. In that moment she knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that she hated her father. She hated everything he was and everything he tried to make her.

"It would be in your best interest to obey me while you live under my roof. Now that we have the matter settled there's only one thing left for you to do…apologize."

Mercedes was seething. Any ounce of decorum and respect she usually had flown out the window. He broke her filter when he broke her guitar and now all bets were off. "You want me to apologize," she asked shaking with anger. "Fine, I'll apologize. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I have a rude, insensitive pompous jackass for a father! And if having money turns you into this I don't want any part of it. I don't want any part of you. You can smash my dreams and try to break me all you want but know this—I will never be like you. I hate everything you choose to be!" She stormed out of his office, slamming his door and ran to her car. She had to get away from him—his office, his house, his rules.

She started driving, knowing exactly who she needed to see. She didn't care that they were fighting. She didn't care that he was mad at her. In that moment she needed her best friend. As she drove, she knew she would have to apologize and that would hurt her stubborn pride but more than that she was hurt deeply and needed the soothing comfort only Sam could provide.

Making her way to the Evans home she ran to the door and knocked, waiting for an answer. She tried to reign in her emotions as she spoke to Mr. Evans. She fought and won the urge to cry. Crying was a weakness she couldn't afford to show when arguing with her father and she refused to place a burden on Sam's.

"Good evening Mr. Evans. I'm sorry to bother you, but is Sam home?"

"Hi Mercedes," he said enveloping her in a warm embrace. "I sure miss seeing you around. He went to the batting cages with some friends. He should be getting back soon if you want to wait." It broke his heart to see the girl's lips tremble in a futile attempt to not cry.

"Oh no. I don't want to impose. I'm sorry for showing up like this," she said stepping out of his embrace as a lone tear escaped her eye. "I'll just go."

"Wait," Mr. Evans said as he gently wiped her tear away. "What's wrong sweetie?"

The floodgates opened at his question. Trying and failing miserably to regain composure she began to take in harsh erratic breaths as the elder Evans rocked her in his arms. She realized Mr. Evans was everything a father should be—helpful, supportive and comforting. As her mind drifted to her own father she cried harder crumbling in Mr. Evans' arms.

Leading her to the couch and closing the door without letting go of her Mr. Evans tried to whisper encouraging words to her. "Oh Starshine, it'll all be alright. I promise it'll all be alright," he said holding her tighter and placing a kiss on her head. He had taken to calling her Starshine ever since she told him the story of watching the play. Having daughters was different than having sons. When Stacy was born she was so fragile and precious, all he wanted to do was protect her from the evils in the world. Every time his little girl cried a piece of his heart broke. Holding Mercedes in his arms as she cried uncontrollably felt an awful lot like watching Stacy cry.

She nodded and stayed in his embrace, certain that if he said it would be alright then it would indeed be alright although the assurances did nothing to stop the fresh batch of tears falling on his shirt.

Dwight looked up as he saw Sam drop his baseball equipment at the door. He saw the concern etched on his son's face. Sam looked terrified as he saw Mercedes shaking and crying and his father trying to console her. All of that anger and hurt he felt towards her for not telling him about Quinn quickly went away and he walked closer to the couch. He sat next to her and rubbed her back asking "What happened Mercedes?" When she heard his voice she turned towards him giving him an overdue hug.

"I'm sorry," she said sounding muffled against his shirt.

"Me too," he said holding her with equal fierceness. "Tell me what happened."

She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes as she held Sam's hand and Mr. Evans comfortingly rubbed circles on her back. "It's my dad. He broke my guitar and I stormed out. I said the meanest things to him. I was so disrespectful."

"I'm so sorry Mercedes," he said. "Do you regret what you said?"

She nodded her head. "I should have just listened to him. He's right! I should have never played guitar to begin with. It was a stupid dream anyway."

Mr. Evans was a dreamer. Watching Mercedes give up on her dreams to appease her father made him want to fix her problems. "We can fix this Mercedes," he said grabbing the keys to his car. What's your address?"

Mercedes was so spent, she didn't even ask Mr. Evans why he needed her address, she just gave it to him cradling further into Sam.

Sam was stroking her hair and kissing her forehead trying to get her to calm down. He watched his father leave and wordlessly communicated that he would take care of Mercedes. When he heard the door close he softly said "You can't stop playing the guitar Jellybean just like you can't stop singing. It's a part of who you are."

" I have to stop. I can't keep fighting him. He wins."

Sam sat her up slowly and lifted her chin so she was looking in his eyes.

"Look at me Jellybean," he said caressing her cheek. You can't quit. I've never seen someone with so much passion and determination. You want to know a secret?"

She looked into his eyes and steadied her breathing. "Yeah."

"I was going to quit playing before I met you at that camp. It was hard for me to learn how to read music and I didn't want to try anymore, but then I met you and seeing how enthusiastic you were about watching me made me realize how important it was for me to keep going. You were my inspiration. You made me want to be better."

"But how can I play without a guitar?"

"Don't worry about it," he said "I'll figure it out. We'll just have to be more secretive. Will you promise to keep at it?" He held out his pinky waiting for her response.

She wiped the remaining tears from her cheek and smiled. "Yeah," she said wrapping her pinky around his. "I promise."

"Good," he said framing her face with his hands. "Now that that's settled, let's grab some dinner." He stood from the couch and held his hand out to help her stand.

Mr. Jones was a wreck. Hearing his daughter tell her she hated him shook him to his core. He was only trying to do what was best for her, but maybe he pushed too far. Maybe in this instance, she knew what was best for her. It broke his heart to see how ashamed she was of him and knowing he put that look on her face was more than he could bear.

Dwight arrived at the Jones residence unaware of what he was going to say and well aware he could make the situation worse, but he had to try. That little girl who his son was holding deserved all of his efforts.

He knocked on the door to the address Mercedes gave him and the door swung open.

"Merc,—" Mr. Jones started but stopped and immediately smiled when he saw who it was. "Dwight," he said hugging his old friend.

"Carl, it's been ages man. How have you been? I can't believe this."

"I know this is weird. How's your family? How's Sam?

"Oh, we're great. We had two more kids--another boy Stevie who's 8 and a little girl Stacy who's 6. We just moved to Lima about 7 months ago. This is amazing. How's Audrey and Mason?"

"They're great too. Audrey's out saving the world, and my son's in Chicago wrecking it. I can't wait to tell her I ran into you. Listen I'd love to catch up but I'm looking for my daughter. I'll give you my number and we can all go out to dinner. I'm glad to see you let go of the shag."

"Yeah," Dwight said touching his shorter hair. "Long hair doesn't work when you have two curious little children at home. Stacy cut my hair off when I was sleeping a few years back and I've kept it short ever since" he said laughing at the memory of his four-year-old daughter cutting his hair and putting rollers in it. "But I actually came to talk to you about Mercedes."

His ears perked up at the mention of his daughter. "What about Mercedes? Do you know where she is? I called all her friends and they have no idea where she went."

"She's at my house with Sam. She feels really bad about what happened tonight. I know it's not my place to say anything, but you got to let her keep playing the guitar. I've never seen someone so enthusiastic about anything before. Her face lights up when she talks about it. I was hoping you would come and talk to her."

"Let me grab my coat," he said while patting Dwight on the back. "I just want her to be happy and it seems playing the guitar makes her happy so that's what I want her to do."

"Wait I gotta ask you this before we go. Do you still have the articles about our kids?"

"Do I? Come on, I'll show you something," Carl said leading Dwight to his home office where he had two articles blown up and framed on his wall next to his degrees. The first was the article in the Journal of the American Medical Association, which was titled: "Healing Babies—how two newborns miraculously recovered by being close to each other in NICU," and the other from the Houston Chronicle "Cosmic Connections: Baby's Aura helps Save another Baby's Life" complete with a picture of the babies and their doctors.

"It really is a small world," Dwight said staring at the babies in the picture. "Did you know they were in kindergarten together before we moved?"

"Was he the boy that gave her that little green toy?" He watched as Dwight nodded his head yes. "She cried for weeks when she lost it. This is uncanny," Carl chuckled at how many times the "wonder babies" lives had intercepted.

"We've got a lot of catching up to do. Mary is going to flip when she sees you. Come on Carl, I'll drive you."

Dwight stood outside his former house and watched his family. They were so happy and he felt like a complete failure. As soon as he crossed that threshold he would have to tell his beautiful wife and incredible children that their world was over. His company went through a massive round of layoffs—15,000 worldwide and 150 in their Lima branch alone. He was one of those affected. After getting a calculation of unemployment he would receive, he tried to call his mortgage lenders to work out a deal since it wouldn't be enough to cover the mortgage. They told him in no uncertain terms that if he could not pay they would find a client who could. They had a week to pack up their lives again and move. Fortunately, he found them a small dingy motel where they could live in Lima while they got back on their feet and was able to pay for their first month. At least their family could hold onto some stability while their world was caving in.

He took a deep breath before slowly turning the knob. Stacy noticed him first and her jovial smile was breaking him. "Daddy," she said running into his arms. He scooped her up and called for everyone's attention.

"Listen, guys, I have some bad news…"

Sam anxiously covered Mercedes' eyes as they stood inside the old Campbell's canning factory. When Sam first saw the place he knew it would be the perfect place for Mercedes to practice.

"Sam, where are we," Mercedes asked holding onto his forearms to steady herself.

"Okay...open them"

"Umm Sam," she said looking around. "Are you planning to kill me?"

"Don't judge a book by its cover. The acoustics in this building are amazing. I know your dad is letting you play, but if you want privacy no one can bother you. Plus I'm going to be working at the pizza place down the road so I can check in on you when you use this space and if you lift this plywood up," he said struggling to rip it off the window, "the sunlight comes through. See? Perfect"

"Why are you working? Is something going on Sam?"

"No everything's fine," he lied. "I just want a little extra money and my parents told me if I want it I have to earn it. This means I won't be able to give you as many lessons as before."

"Okay," she said skeptically. She knew there was something else going on but she was going to give him time to tell her.

"You were right Sam," she said grabbing her guitar and preparing for their first lesson in the factory. "This place is perfect."


	4. New Beginnings

Sam loved Mercedes. And not just as a friend or as someone he admired. No--Sam was in love, head over heels with his best friend. He knew it was wrong to be thinking about another girl while you have a girlfriend but he couldn't control it. He loved her more than a friend and he had for some time. Every time he found out something new about her, He fell in love with her more. He was in too deep and he liked the feeling too much to stop, but he was hesitant in what to do next. He didn't care. He had to think of something because he loved her and every day that passed and she didn't know how he felt a piece of him withered and died. She was a star, a supernova shining brighter than everything in her galaxy and emitting light and warmth on everyone who got close.

His Mercedes deserved the world and it hurt him to his core that he couldn't give it to her. It hurts watching your future slip away because of the harsh realities of your present. Working, babysitting, and school left no time for relationships, and his less than stellar dating history left little to be desired. His first girlfriend cheated on him with her ex-boyfriend and his newest ex just dumped him by announcing she fell in love with someone else to the entire glee club. It should sting, but it doesn't. Their relationship was more like an arrangement and he spent more time with Mercedes than Santana anyway. Mercedes. She was so sweet and kind. So beautiful. ' _So mine,_ ' he mused before a horrible feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. What if she only saw him as a friend? He thought on this more as the possibility of being Mercedes' boyfriend was slipping further and further away.

After Glee ended, Sam rushed to his locker to grab his homework before heading to work. He sighed deeply as he knew who was sidled beside him and could picture the concern marring her features without looking at her. "Hey," he said not stopping what he was doing.

"Hey," she replied. "Sorry that happened. It was messed up." She already decided she was going to wring Santana's neck but first she was going to check on her friend.

"Who cares," he shrugged finally closing his locker and meeting her eyes. "He can have her. Look I have to go to work now but I'll talk to you later." He began walking towards the door but he felt her arm on his slowly turning him around. Then she said, "when you're ready to talk about whatever's bothering you, I'm here." He knew she wasn't just talking about Santana but he didn't question her. She couldn't possibly know about his family, right?

"Thanks. I'll remember that" he said as he started his 40-minute walk to work.

Mercedes knew that something was bothering Sam and she was trying her best to be supportive, but she felt like she was watching something slowly eat him alive. She knew he would feel better once he let it off his chest but she wasn't going to force him to tell her—for now.

Sam hated being in that hotel room. He was becoming restless and sleep-deprived. He usually spent the night watching the car lights beam through the window or staring at his siblings peacefully sleep. He rarely spent time at the motel. When he didn't have to babysit, he took the late night shifts at the pizza place. Taking the scenic route in the company car, he got to the motel and tried to close his eyes. The shadows in the window began to grow darker and more ominous and he felt like the darkness was going to swallow him whole. He had to get out of there for his sanity.

Mercedes hated being alone in that big house at night, which seemed to happen all the time. Every sound was augmented and every shadow was harrowing. She usually went to sleep earlier and woke with the sun. Finally resting her eyes after finishing a paper for her geography class, she heard tapping on her bedroom window. Curiosity getting the better of her she slowly drew back the curtain to see what was making the noise. She jumped a little when she saw Sam hunched over in her window looking straight at her. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves she opened the window whispering "Sam what are you doing here?"

Sam didn't think. He drove the car to his safe haven—Mercedes. He knew she wouldn't judge him and would help keep him sane. "I'm sorry Mercedes," he said beginning to pace as he tried to hold it together. "I really needed to see you. Everyone's pulling at me and I'm trying to make everyone happy—I'm trying to be the best son, brother, student and man but I keep falling short. I keep failing. I'm trying to make everything better, but all I do is make it worse." He finally lifted his gaze and even in the dark with the moon providing the only source of light she could see he was on the verge of tears. Gently sitting him down on her bed she held him in her arms as his body racked with unshed tears. "You need to listen to me Sam; you are a great son, brother, student, and man. You are so more than you think you are. Sam you're everything. Please don't let whatever's bothering you consume you. Please don't let it take away your essence. The Sam Evans I know does not fail," she said gently petting his cheek. At her words he held onto her for dear life, crying freely into her shoulder. After a few minutes, Sam was spent and quietly said, "I just can't go back there tonight. Can I stay with you?" She didn't respond with words. She bent down and took off his shoes sliding his legs under her covers. Then she gently laid him down on her pillow, lying down next to him holding his hand as she drifted to sleep.

He woke up early to go back to the hotel since he didn't want his parents to know he didn't sleep there. His arm was a little numb and as he looked down he saw that their hands and fingers were still intertwined. He smiled at how small her hand looked in his. Gently removing his fingers from hers and lifting off the bed to put his shoes on, he hovered over where she was sleeping and studied her face. She was flawless and he saw a slight smile ghost her lips. Placing a gentle kiss on her forehead he whispered lightly "sweet dreams beautiful, I love you" before closing the door and heading to the motel. He never had anyone outside of his family look after him before and if he had his way they would be looking after each other for the rest of their lives.

Her parents told her they invited the Evans' over to get to know their daughter's best friend and his family. She was nervous and excited at the same time, feeling like that five-year-old girl bouncing around the house waiting for her best friend to arrive. When her mom told her about the barbecue she immediately planned activities for Stevie and Stacy. It was a lovely April day with a light breeze blowing and a cloudless sky. If Mercedes was acting like a five-year-old then Audrey was acting like a three-year-old on a sugar high—chattering excitedly and triple checking to make sure everything was in order. Dwight and Mary provided a source of comfort for the Jones' when Mercedes was in the NICU. They formed a strong bond visiting their sick newborns and Audrey considered the couple lifelong friends.

Sharing an equally excited attitude Mary Evans was smiling from ear to ear holding her famous hummingbird cake in her hands. During the most stressful time in her life, she was able to lean on her husband, Audrey, and Carl. The miraculous connection their babies shared had made their parents develop a bond and she was thrilled to see her old friends again. Before Mary could knock on the door it swung open revealing a smiling Audrey wrapping her in a warm hug. Sam was a little confused by the interaction. If he didn't know any better he would think they were old friends instead of new acquaintances. "Come on in everyone. Carl is out back grilling and Mercedes set up some games the kids can play. Why don't you all go outside?" She then directed the Evans' children to the yard. "Dwight and Mary would you like something to drink?" Audrey led the couple to the kitchen as she watched the Evans children make their way outside.

Stevie and Stacy immediately ran over to Mercedes and hugged her while Sam took slowly walked over to her. Watching her smile and interact with his siblings was making his heartbeat erratic and his breathing labored. Ever since he made that confession out loud, he was nervous around her. He figured taking a longer time to get to her would allow him time to get himself together. By the time he got to her all that time he spent composing himself was wasted. Her laughter was ringing in his ears and melting his heart. "Hey Sam," she said giving him a hug. "Hey yourself," he said holding her closer and inhaling her intoxicating scent. She smelled so sweet—like tropical fruits. He pulled away quickly hoping she didn't know what he was doing. "Come on Sam," she said grabbing his hand. "I found some old games we could play." After losing to the unbeatable team of Stacy and Mercedes at Candyland and Chutes and Ladders Stevie decided he would have more fun playing with Mason's old action heroes. Sam, being the kid at heart that he is, was more excited to be playing with the toys than his brother.

After lunch was served the adults went inside to clean while Sam and Stevie ran into the yard to continue playing. Not amused, Stacy rolled her eyes at her brothers looking in Mercedes direction. "Boys," she said. Mercedes laughed at the little girl's sass. "Yeah. Boys, she echoed. "Hey you want to do something fun?" The little girl nodded in response. "We have to ask your parents first but how would you like your face painted?" She remembered she still had all the face paint from last month's church carnival. After getting the approval from Mr. and Mrs. Evans, Mercedes asked the little girl what animal she wanted and her favorite color. Stacy wanted a purple, pink and blue dog with glitter accents. Admittedly Mercedes was no Van Gogh, and she quite honestly should not be painting anything but she saw hot excited Stacy was to get her face painted and was happy with the result when she finished. Sam came over and told his little sister how good she looked but as soon as her back was turned he told Mercedes "wow, you're really bad at that. I've never seen a puppy look like a bear before."

"Shut up," she said playfully swatting at his arm.

"Seriously Mercedes, don't quit your day job," he said before laughing.

"And you think you could do any better?" Mercedes challenged.

"Blindfolded with one hand behind my back." He picked up the pink face paint and walked towards her.

She took a step back. "Sam," she said cautiously. "Put the paint down."

"Oh come on," he said. "Bet you would at least be able to tell what animal it is." He then took the paint and swiped at her nose.

"Oh I'm going to get you for that," she said.

"Really," he replied raising an eyebrow stepping closer. Maybe he should have picked up the action figure he was playing with because she slipped right on it. Holding out his arms and trying to brace her fall didn't help. She took him down with her as he landed on top of her. He lay hovering above her surveying her face before having a silent conversation with her eyes. Despite the awkwardness of the situation, he had no intention of moving, shamelessly lingering on Mercedes. His body happily pressed onto hers fighting the urge to grind into her center and kiss her everywhere. In that moment he prayed for the strength to go through every day just being this amazing woman's friend. They were so focused on the moment they didn't realize they had a captive audience. Audrey, Dwight, and Mary stood by the table taking in the scene.

"You think we should tell them about the whole 'wonder babies' thing", Mary asked.

"I don't know," Audrey replied. "I don't think they're ready to hear about it yet—too much pressure. I do know this if that boy doesn't remove himself from my daughter Carl will have his hide."

As if he heard Mrs. Jones, Sam pushed off of Mercedes settling in the grass next to her as he nervously cleared his throat. He jumped up and offered her his hand. "Sorry," he said sheepishly.

She replied with "Don't mention it" flinging the apology away as she stood. "Let's see what Stacy and Stevie are up to."

_Are you happy now, the truth's finally out_

_Are you happy now, the truth's finally out_

_Are you happy now, the truth's finally out_

Sam's words echoed in her mind all day after his confession during Glee. She knew something was bothering him, but could have never imagined it was something of that magnitude. She felt like the worst human being ever created; her friend was suffering and everyone (including herself) was too blind or self-absorbed to see it. Instead they were pointing fingers and making accusations. Suddenly everything he said to her when he slept over made sense, and another wave of guilt hit her. Unfortunately, she let her emotions get the best of her and jumped on the bandwagon. She couldn't help feel a tinge of sadness when it was revealed he chose to confide in Kurt and Quinn about his troubles and not her. Her words carried the same weight as smashing a rock through Kurt's window—both actions were misguided and impulsive. She only hoped that like Kurt, Sam would be kind enough to overlook her lapse in judgment and would still want to be her friend.

She looked for Sam for over an hour after he rightfully stormed out of Glee. Not being able to find him meant he was in worse condition than she could imagine. Knowing that she was one of the people he needed distance from, she decided to give him some space driving back to her house to ask her father for advice. After their fight and the broken guitar both tried to take steps to repair their damaged relationship. "Can I ask you a question daddy," she said standing inside her father's office after he told her to come in.

"Sure pumpkin, what's on your mind?"

Trying to think of a graceful way to say it was eluding her so she blurted out "Sam and his family are living in a motel. His father lost his job and a week after that they had to move out of their house. They have been homeless for a month. You should have seen the look on his face daddy," she said not trying to stop the tears rolling down her eyes. "He was so broken and it's all my fault. I said something nasty and cruel to him all because he told Kurt and Quinn but didn't tell me. I just want to help them. What can I do?"

Mr. Jones stood up and went to Mercedes trying to console her. "If you want to help him because he's your friend that's one thing but if you want to help him to ease your guilty conscience that's another. Make sure you have the right motive."

"I do feel guilty, but I would still want to do something even if he never spoke to me again. I just want to help his pain go away."

"Well baby girl, I have a solution. Do you know where they're staying?"

She nodded. "Yeah, Rachel and Finn went earlier to bring him the guitar he sold. They gave us his address if we wanted to send donations."

"Good. Let's take a trip," Mr. Jones said leading his daughter out the door.

Sam was exhausted. He just got off of work and relieved Kurt of his babysitting duties. His mother, who he had seen briefly, had to run out for a late interview and the glee club bought back his guitar. Seeing his baby again after it broke his heart to sell her made his heart swell. He cried, unabashedly and thanked Finn and Rachel for bringing her back to him. When his father came back from pavement-pounding, he was still strumming his guitar absently until he heard a knock at the door.

"You sure are popular today, Sam" Dwight said as he went to open the door.

"Carl, Starshine, what are you doing here?"

"I need to ask your help on something."

Finally feeling useful and not like a charity case, Dwight was more that happy to help with whatever Carl needed. As soon as he heard his dad announce Mercedes, Sam couldn't help but stare at Mercedes as she kept her head down worrying her lip.

"Have a seat," Dwight said as he guided the two to the small, cramped kitchenette.

"Dwight I have a problem. I know you've done some work in construction and I was wondering if you can help make some minor repairs to my father's house."

"Well I'd have to see the place so I know what I'm working with," Dwight replied.

"The thing's been on the market for years and if I make these repairs I may finally be able to sell." Carl didn't mention the fact that he took the house off the market after hearing about the Evans' predicament. "In the meantime, why don't you move in? I mean, the house is livable and right now it's just taking up space."

"And it has 4 bedrooms 2 bathrooms and a basement that was converted into a family room," Mercedes added hoping this information helped him say yes.

Dwight was pensive before he said "I have to talk to Mary about it first but it sounds great. Thank you." His voice was full of emotion.

"Don't mention it," Carl said waving off this thanks. "It's what friends do."

Sam walked over to the table. He had never heard his father sound so emotional. He knew this was Mercedes' doing and he had to ask her about it.

"Mercedes can I talk to you outside for a minute," he asked while his father and Mr. Jones discussed the property.

She nodded wordlessly and stood to leave the tiny room still too ashamed to meet his eyes. As soon as Sam closed the door she looked up at him and said "I'm so sorry about what I said. I was hurt and I lashed out at you. You didn't deserve any of us judging you, least of all me. Can you forgive me?"

"I know you feel bad about what happened, but I've already forgiven you. You didn't have to do this. Why are you doing this?"

She spoke softly and purposefully as she looked into his eyes. "You've got the weight of the world on your shoulders. If you put some weight on mine we could carry things together. I'll help you if you let me. Give in—let me take care of you again."

And then the impossible happened—he fell a little deeper.


	5. Confessions Pt. I

She woke up early Saturday morning with the sun beaming in her face. Being alone with her parents off at conferences or charity functions always meant stilted sleep, but she had the most peaceful slumber. Maybe it was because she wasn't alone. Rolling over revealed a sleeping Sam who told her in no uncertain terms that he was spending the night. "I know you hate sleeping in that house by yourself and I'm not going to let you anymore. This friendship goes both ways. You have to let me help you too." Amused to see her words thrown back at her, Mercedes agreed and she was glad she did.

He was sleeping peacefully in her bed and she couldn't help staring at his face. How the contours of it made him was the perfect dichotomy of sweet and sexy, how he gently inhaled and exhaled, how his lips pursed slightly like how had something to say. Staring at his face was making her smile goofily and she came to the sudden realization that she loved him. She loved how kind and selfless he was. She loved the great advice he gave and how he protected those he loved. Stubbornly deluding herself into categorizing him as just another friend got her nowhere. She loved every part of him and she would never tell him because he probably didn't feel the same way. How many times was she going to play the fool in love? 'Every boy that's nice to you doesn't want to be your boyfriend', Mercedes reprimanded herself immediately flashing to the Kurt debacle of her sophomore year. Deciding to be smart and not allow stupid feelings to ruin a great friendship she was going to push any romantic feelings away and concentrate on being Sam's friend.

But that would be next to impossible because it was  _Sam_ ; the same guy who held her when she was afraid at five was the same guy who held her as she cried about her parent's absence now. She showed him every part of her and he gave willingly and freely. But she had a big problem—no matter how many times she reminded herself he was her friend, when she imagined her future husband he was there playing with their children, cooking them breakfast, taking care of them. She prayed for the strength to live in the present with Sam being happy with the time she got to spend with him and not yearn for more than friendship.

As if her thoughts were audible, Sam sighed before asking, "what's on your mind jellybean?"

"I just wanted to know how you knew you loved Quinn?" She wished it were still dark outside so she could hide her face from his reaction.

He turned over to look at her; he desperately needed her to believe what he was going to say next. " I never loved Quinn. We used each other. I told her I thought I did, but I knew I really didn't. Where's this coming from?"

"I don't know," she sighed (a tell-tale cue that she was holding back). Silence engulfed the room as he waited patiently for her to finish her thought. "Hey," she said deflecting from the awkward turn the conversation took. "I have something for you"

"Oh? What is it?" Mercedes smiled at how childlike his response was.

"I don't know why you didn't tell me but I found out anyway…happy birthday." She brought the small gift box wrapped with a blue ribbon from behind her back and handed it to him.

Sam eyed the box. Mercedes had already done so much for him, he didn't feel right taking anything else from her. "This is really nice but I can't accept this jellybean"

"Sam," she said resolutely crossing her arms "Sometimes it's more selfless to accept gifts than to give them. I wanted to do this for you. I can't and I won't take it back so you might as well open it."

They stared at each other, locked in a stalemate for a moment before Sam finally huffed and opened the box. He read and reread the contents—five golden pieces of paper with his name on each of them. He looked up at her with an unreadable expression. "This is too much—five one year subscriptions to my favorite comics. This is too much" He then placed the papers carefully back into the box and hugged his best friend. "Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm so lucky to have you in my life."

Mercedes closed her eyes and reveled in the feel of her in his arms. She caught herself sighing contently before reminding herself she was hugging a friend. Still, she couldn't help closing her eyes and inhaling his scent. He smelled so clean—like fresh soap. Slowly pulling back she smiled and caressed his cheek. "I'm lucky you're my friend and I'm glad you like the gift. Happy birthday."

He pulled them back onto her bed not wanting to let her go. If he spent all day with her in his arms, he would say it was his best birthday ever. Looking at the time he sighed. Realizing he had 30 minutes before his parents woke up he thanked Mercedes again, gave her a peck on the cheek and made his way to the motel.

* * *

 

Hiding Sam's birthday party was one of the hardest secrets she ever kept—and she kept some big secrets before. Every time she was trying to finalize plans, he would pop up. He seemed to be everywhere. It didn't help that she was cavorting with his parents and her mom—the least stealthy people she had ever met. Mrs. Evans sent her daily text messages about how she almost accidently spilled the surprise to Sam and she had to intercept a text to Sam's phone Mr. Evans sent about setting up the stage in her backyard that was supposed to be sent to her. Her mother, after talking on the phone with Mr. and Mrs. Evans was so loud she was sure Sam overheard some part of the conversation. They were going to be the death of her, but when Sam saw his surprise, it would all be worth it.

She had it all planned—Sam would spend the night with her since her parents would be away at a charity event. Then Mr. and Mrs. Evans would have a family birthday breakfast waiting for him when he got back to the motel. She didn't know how they knew, but Dwight brought it up as part of the plan pointedly telling her they knew about the sleepovers. Mr. Evans told her that once they moved into her grandparent's house she would stay with them when her parents were out of town instead of Sam staying with her unsupervised in her home. While he was eating breakfast with the Evans, the Jones would arrive from their trip with their caterer friend who agreed to cater the event as a token of appreciation to Audrey for all of her charity efforts. Dwight had a few of his construction worker friends over to build the makeshift stage for the party, where people (probably just Glee club members) could sing karaoke or reenact scenes from their favorite movies. Their gazebo, which could comfortable accommodate 30 people, was decorated with balloons and noisemakers. Mercedes was in the kitchen waiting for Mrs. Evans to come over as they were going to bake the cakes for the party. Mercedes persuaded Mrs. Evans to show her how to make Sam's favorite hummingbird cake and they were making red velvet and vanilla cakes as well. Everyone should be arriving around 4:30 right before 5, where Sam would get back from the batting cages with his dad and siblings.

When Mary arrived, she smiled at how excited Mercedes was about the day. This girl didn't know how deep she was in. It did her heart good to see someone care for her son so completely. As they waited for the cakes to cool before decorating, Mary took the time to speak with Mercedes. "Sweetie, Sam is going to love this."

"I hope so Mrs. Evans."

"I remember when Dwight did something like this for me before. I was in a funk after Sam was born because he was so sick. When he got better Dwight threw me a surprise party. I have to admit, it was one of the sweetest things he's ever done for me." She waited to see if the girl could pick up on her subtle hints. That the amount of time and energy and planning she put into making this party successful was something someone did for their significant other, not their best friend.

Mercedes didn't get the hint. Shrugging she said "well Sam's been through so much I wanted to do something nice for him. The whole glee club chipped in to help."

"Sure sweetie," Mary replied. "It's getting late. I'm going home to change and I'll be back in 45 minutes. The cakes look great. Everything does. I'll see you later." They shared a hug as Mercedes walked Mary to the door.

The party was successful. When Sam walked into the place blindfolded by a giggling Stacy who was nestled on his shoulders, he was shocked. After getting hugs from his family and friends, Mercedes leaped into his arms and gave him a warm hug. "Happy birthday, Sam," she whispered into his ear.

"I can't believe you did this for me Mercedes," he said gently putting her down. "You're amazing, you know that?"

"I do, but it's always nice to hear. Besides it wasn't just me, our parents, the Glee club, they all pitched in to help in some way."

Quinn watched the intimacy between the two and decided to broker a peace. She missed being Mercedes friend and their friendship was strained after her former friend caught her kissing Finn. It wasn't that Mercedes hated her; it was that she was indifferent towards her, which somehow hurt more. After watching Sam greet other guests (with lesser enthusiasm than he had greeted his "best friend") and Mercedes turn to go inside her home she grabbed her former friend's shoulder to get her attention.

"Hey," Quinn said.

"Hey"

"This is really nice Mercedes. You did a great job."

Mercedes wasn't usually mean, but she couldn't stomach Quinn's fake niceties. She rolled her eyes and said, "Why are you talking to me Quinn? What do you want?" Growing impatient she rolled her eyes again and began walking back into her house.

Quinn was seeing red at Mercedes cold-shoulder and thought the girl needed to be taught another lesson. "How are those guitar lessons coming along," she smugly asked to Mercedes' retreating frame.

Hearing this Mercedes spun around. She wasn't going to discuss this with Quinn but if Quinn wanted to start something Mercedes was more than happy to end it. She figured out a long time ago that Quinn was the one who told her father. She was a snake who would strike when cornered. After Mercedes confronted her about the kiss with Finn, she should have figured the conniving girl would try to elicit payback. "Oh they're going great Quinn," Mercedes responded with equal parts bite and cheer. "In fact they couldn't be better. By the way thanks so much for telling my father about them. It actually brought us closer." Mercedes grinned as Quinn's face blanched. "At first I thought it was a bitchy thing to do to your "soul-sister" but then I thought Quinn's always been a self-obsessed bitch so I guess you can't help but be true to yourself." She watched as Quinn's face began to turn red and whispered in her ear "Enjoy the party Q" before sauntering off to talk to her mother.

After coordinating with her mom, who told her she had a surprise for the Evans when they moved tomorrow, she was stopped by Mike who was leaning by the doorway smiling at her knowingly.

"Hey. How do you like the party?"

"It's really nice Mercedes, but you know I feel cheated. I only got a card on my birthday."

She playfully swatted the grinning boy on his arm "Stop. You loved that card. Besides Sam has been through a lot this year. I just wanted to do something nice for him."

"Maybe," Mike said slowly, "or.."

"Or what?"

Artie had rolled in at that point to get his phone out of his jacket when he heard the conversation. "Nice party Jones. Although this is something a  _girlfriend_ would do not a girl friend"

Mike high-fived Artie. "See," Mike said, "that's exactly what I was talking about."

"Well what about a best friend? Don't friends go the extra mile when their friend is going through a rough time? Isn't that what we've all been doing since we found out?"

"Oh come on Jones, what color is the sky in your world? Us Glee-clubbers are as incestuous as the cast of Brady Bunch. We gave him his guitar back and a bag of Finn's old clothes. You threw him a catered birthday party and built a stage in your backyard."

Mike nodded his agreement. "And with the way you two look at each other I doubt you two will be just friends for long."

Mercedes thought on what they were saying before deciding it was crazy. "You guys don't know what you're talking about. Mike you should go rescue Tina because if Rachel sings one more Streisand song Tina's going to kill her." Mike chuckled looking at his girlfriend pace next to the stage where Rachel was singing her rendition of "The Way we Were".

"You're right. I better get out there before the bloodbath begins, but this conversation isn't over."

Artie watched Mercedes as she watched Sam talking to Finn, a grin plastered on her face. "Mmm Hmm Jones, just friends my ass," he said before rolling away to get his phone.

As the party began to wind down, Mercedes was mindlessly cleaning up and thinking about what Artie and Mike said earlier when Sam came up and flung his arm around her shoulders. "This was amazing. You're amazing. Thank you for this."

She shrugged and pulled away from him. "Oh it's no big deal. Besides everyone did something to help out." Switching subjects, she asked, "So how do you feel about tomorrow?"

He cupped her shoulders in his hands. I'm so excited that my family will be out of that motel. Stevie and Stacie can finally run around and we won't be crowded."

"I'm glad everything worked out Sam."

"Just so you know I expect a party like this every year since you've already spoiled me. You have to make that hummingbird cake again soon" He smiled at her in gratitude.

"I'm glad you liked it," she smiled back.

"I loved it," he replied giving her a peck on her cheek.

Mercedes rushed home after church to begin helping to pack up the Motel room and move the Evans into her grandparent's home. She was so happy for them—that motel was cramped and spirit crushing. Her father would forever be her hero for suggesting the Evans move into the empty house.

When she got to the motel, she noticed that the Evans were almost finished packing so she offered to load some items in her car. When Stacy saw her she immediately wanted to ride with her, asking if Mercedes would help decorate her new bedroom. Sam Stacy and Mercedes were the first to arrive to the new house and Mercedes teared up when she saw the little girl's reaction. Pulling into the driveway she watched as Stacy gasped. "What do you think Stacy?"

"It's so big. Are any other families living with us?"

She turned to Sam for help, genuinely at a loss of what to say.

Sam opened the car door and swooped Stacy in his arms. "This is for our family," he told her. "We are going to be the only ones living here."

The little girl looked at him with wide eyes.

Standing outside of the house that was a cherished part of her childhood, she smiled at the memories the old house elicited. It was where she baked her first pie (Christmas 2002) and where she first fell in love with the guitar. She could picture Sam strumming his guitar filling the house once again with the dulcet tones of quality guitar playing. The Evans' would soon fill the own house with their own memories, replacing the quiet and sorrow that emitted within the house after her grandmother died with laughter and love.

"Well, why don't I give you guys the tour," she asked holding Stacy's hand.

It was Mercedes turn to be shocked. The house looked completely different than the last time she was there. There was new furniture and the walls had been repainted. The broken staircase was fixed and all of the appliances were modern. Her mom worked fast. When the trio got to the third story, Stacy broke away when she saw the pink and purple room. "I want this room," she squealed dropping Mercedes' hand and running onto the new bed. "Can you help me decorate?"

"Sure thing Stacy," Mercedes smiled. She was going to be in the same room Mercedes stayed in as a child. "But first let me show your brother the other rooms."

She showed him the room he would probably be staying in last, which was the second largest bedroom in the house. It had soundproof walls—perfect for instrument playing.

"So," she said bouncing on her heels. "What do you think?"

He couldn't hold in how he felt anymore. The girl in front of him was amazing. He loved her and she deserved to know the truth. "What do I think? I think this is incredible. I think you're incredible." He hugged her tightly before whispering in her ear "I love you."

She pulled back at his admission desperately seeking his eyes for any misinterpretation of his words. When she didn't see one, Mercedes heart swelled. Overcome with emotion, she was going to tell him exactly how she felt, but before she opened her mouth a little voice, which started as a whisper, began to shout in her head 'he loves you as his friend'. She didn't know you could get your heart broken before you admit your heart was given away. She did know it hurt like hell to realize he only wanted to be her friend. She stared blankly in his eyes before quickly rebounding with "I love you too" placing her head on his chest. She pulled away and once again met his eyes "you're my best friend and I know we'll always be in each other's lives." Sam could hear his heart break as he finally got it through his head. 'She just wants to be friends' he dejectedly realized.

All of a sudden it felt as if all the air was sucked out of the room. The tension was palpable and both were too devastated to realize it. Mercedes couldn't be in the same room as him anymore. She had to get away from him for the sake of their friendship. She walked over to the door telling Sam "I'm going to go help Stacy with her room" without making eye contact. She quickly closed the door hoping to put as much distance between them as possible.


	6. Confessions Pt. II

After helping Stacy decorate her new room she bounded down the stairs as she heard Mr. and Mrs. Evans, Stevie and her parents enter the home. Audrey was so giddy; she took a picture of Dwight and Mary's faces when they saw the changes she made. Then she proceeded to take pictures of everything and everyone. Her husband whispered in her ear "have I told you lately how amazing you are?" She smiled at Carl, placing a hand on his cheek. "Not in the last five minutes. You're pretty amazing yourself." Her attention was averted when she saw Sam standing on the steps. "Hey Sam," she called to him camera in hand. "Why don't you take some pictures with Mercedes?" Mortified Mercedes turned to her mom and said "you know mom maybe we can take some more pictures later. Stacy hasn't left her new room. I bet Stevie is dying to see his right?" She turned to the little boy and waited his response. He nodded enthusiastically which caused the group to laugh.

She was avoiding him. There was no doubt in his mind that she was. Sam watched from the stairs as she talked animatedly to Stevie and his parents. When he made his presence known walking down the stairs to greet the Jones' she studiously avoided looking into his eyes. He saw her tense when her mom suggested they take a picture together. It was as if she were afraid to be too close to him. Throughout dinner she avoided his gaze as he tried in vain to will her into looking at him. Something that he didn't quite understand happened in his room to make Mercedes pull away from him. She was stubborn but he was foolhardy—he planned to confront her and mend whatever was broken between them because now that they met again he couldn't imagine his life without her in it.

Dwight had been silently watching the two since he arrived. Something was off between them. When he saw how she couldn't make eye contact with his son he asked if she would help him with some small home improvement projects so he could talk to her and make sure she was okay. Although he had no idea what exactly happened, he had a hunch. Using his excellent skills of deduction, he began to speak. "Sometimes the realization that we can have our heart's desire is so scary that we delude ourselves into thinking it'll never be ours." He turned and handed her a hammer as she began mounting the shelf the way he taught her. "If you got out of your own way, you'd be able to find the answers you seek." Mercedes stared at the successfully installed shelf while absorbing what Mr. Evans said before her dad called her to say her goodbyes as they were headed home.

* * *

 

His plan of attack was simple—smother and apologize. He wasn't going to be out of her sight until they resolved whatever was between them. It didn't help that he only had three opportunities to see her—in glee, at lunch, or in their Chemistry class. He enlisted Mike's help since he and Mercedes had five classes together, and the calm boy could act as a buffer between them. "Hey, Mike" Sam called to his friend running to catch up to him. "Can you hand this to Mercedes?"

"Sure," Mike complied looking at Sam suspiciously. "What's going on with you two? Trouble in paradise?"

"Shut up man," Sam punched his arm. "It's not like that okay we're—"

"Just friends," Mike finished for his deluded friend. "Yeah right. Just let me know when you two are going to stop doing this dance cause frankly, you're making me dizzy."

Sam slumped at his locker as Mercedes walked by without acknowledging him. He sighed. "Can you just give that to her," he pleaded.

"Sure," Mike agreed. But if you don't make a move soon you're going to lose her.

"I know." Sam slumped further before heading to class.

Mike saw that the seat next to Mercedes was empty and sat down to hand her the notebook. "I have a delivery for you"

Mercedes opened the notebook slowly, afraid of what she might find. She saw Sam's note

_I can't fix it if you won't let me. Can we talk over lunch? Meet me at our place?_

_-Sam_

She hadn't meant to shut him out; she just had a lot on her mind after her talk with Mr. Evans. Instead of writing him back she decided to surprise him outside of his classroom so they could walk to the quad together.

When he saw her leaning on the wall next to his Spanish class, his happiness erupted into a thousand watt smile. Before he could speak, she wrapped her arms around him. "I'm sorry."

"What happened," he asked. He had a feeling but wanted her confirmation. He needed her to tell him how she felt. "One minute we were laughing and the next you couldn't get away from me fast enough."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just had a lot on my mind and I was in my own head too long. I took it out on you because you were the closest to me," she sighed, a clear indication she was hiding something. "I was stupid and I hope you can forgive me."

"So I'm guessing you don't want to talk about it." ' _Come on sweetheart, just give in. I know you love me. Stop fighting us.'_ His mind was screaming to do something, anything to let her know he could hear what she was too afraid to say.

She shook her head.

"I forgive you, Mercedes, let's go to the cafeteria. I have to buy lunch."

"There's no need—I brought a bribe," she said smiling triumphantly and waving a container of leftovers in the air.

"You know the way to my heart," he chuckled only half kidding. She took her free arm and slid it in his offered arm walking towards the quad and laughing.

* * *

 

Sam was going to have to send Rachel a gift for her whole "prom on a budget" idea. When Rachel first asked him to go to prom with her he immediately turned her down, but he had to admit, adding Mercedes was a stroke of genius. As soon as she did he was more than happy to accept.

The night was a sensory overload—he could never get his fill of looking at her. She was so stunning and vibrant she glowed. But nothing less should be expected from a supernova. The feel of her in his arms was going to be his undoing. She was so small and soft he felt he had to handle her with care. This girl was torturing him and she had no clue. He needed to reign in his feelings because he was already holding her longer than necessary and closer than he needed to. She smelled incredible, as always with that intoxicating tropical fruit perfume she used. He loved to spin her and have her scent waft around them. The sound of her laughter was causing butterflies to flutter in his stomach. He was going to do everything he could to produce that sound throughout the night. She was a vision—the crystals in her dress sparkling as brightly as her eyes, catching the light every time he spun her around. She was so beautiful it hurt. He longed to taste her, to see if her skin was as sweet as it smelled.

He was in trouble.

On their walk back to her house, she reached up and gave him a light peck on the cheek. "Thanks for tonight. You really are a good friend." She squeezed his hand. Sam looked down at their entwined hands and smiled through the pain he felt. Hearing her call him a friend was twisting a knife in his heart but he painted on a smile anyway. He knew he would have to get over it and fast but there was something about being just friends with Mercedes that he found impossible. He sighed as he watched her close her door, knowing his walk home was going to be darker and colder without her next to him.

After prom, the duo seemed to have gotten closer. If they weren't laughing at inside jokes and drawing pictures in their notebook to each other, Mercedes was having dinner with the Evans' and meeting in their secret place for guitar lessons. They ate breakfast at Mercedes' together before walking to school. They spent their lunches laughing and talking on the quad. Soon their looks had added longing and their touches lingered. Neither wanted to address the subtle shift in their relationship but both wanted it to continue.

They'd lost—miserably. They didn't even place. They were humiliated on a national stage and had to turn home with their tails between their legs. Some were furious, some were sad, but Sam was happy. They got to go to New York and out of all the show choirs in the nation, they placed 12th. To top it all off, he got to do it all with the woman he loved by his side. Sam was so happy when they finished he ran over to her and hugged her, just delighted to be sharing this moment with her. He was on top of the world—until they got the results. He watched as the light dimmed from her eyes and her face dropped. Her somber expression didn't change at the hotel, or the airport, or during the drive back from McKinley.

After seeing his best friend in that horrible state, Sam called his dad and asked if he could sleep over while her parents were away "I know you said she has to stay with us when her parents are traveling but she's in a bad way. She hasn't talked since New York and she hasn't set foot out of her room since I dropped her off. She really needs me tonight."

Dwight was skeptical. It went against every fiber of his being, but he allowed Sam to stay with Mercedes provided her parents knew. He knew how the teens felt about each other but he doubted anything would happen.

After leaving a message with Mr. Jones Sam stood outside her door for ten minutes before knocking lightly. "Come on jellybean, let me in." When she still didn't answer he turned the doorknob slowly and walked in. Looking at her made him want to wrap his arms around her and protect her from all that ailed her in the world. She was always so full of light. He had never seen her so  _broken_.

Sam held her trembling body close to him, gently wiping the tears from her eyes. She looked up at him and said, "all those times I was overlooked or belittled, constantly being told I was less than or not good enough. I internalized it and started to see myself that way. I tried to numb my feelings of being used, but I can't anymore. I'm tired Sam. I'm tired of being stepped on and taking one for the team. For two years I did whatever Mr. Shue asked of me and was a team player. Now, all that hard work is down the drain. Was it really worth it?" She looked up at him with deep meaningful eyes, fruitlessly searching for the answer to her question.

"But look at all you've learned—patience, determination, perseverance and the most important lesson: when people underestimate you, you prove them wrong. Go after what you want and don't let anything or anyone take you away from it."

"I'm tired of fighting for scraps."

"Then don't. Side step the scraps and go for what you really want."

"Isn't that easier said than done?"

They sat in silence as he pondered her question. He was a hypocrite if he couldn't do himself what he asked her to. He took a deep breath, ignored his heart pounding rapidly in his chest, and confessed, "I love you, Mercedes Jones."

"I love you too Sam—"

"No, please let me finish. I love you and I want you to be mine. I want you as my best friend and my girlfriend. I want to have all of your heart because you already have mine. What do you want?"

Now there was no room to misinterpret Sam's words, but Mercedes was scared. If she told him how she felt they could never go back again. There was a sense of irrevocability to his words that shook her to her core.

"What do you want Mercedes," he repeated softly.

He waited for her response for a while longer before deciding it was time to take his own advice. He looked at her and kissed her forehead, slowly pulling back to gauge her reaction. He saw that she didn't pull away but instead closed her eyes. She seemed to relish the feel of his lips on her face. Never one to disappoint, he placed feather light kisses on her eyes and then again on the apple of her cheeks where her tears fell. He decided to put all his cards on the table.

He placed a long lingering kiss on her lips savoring the feel of them on his own. He waited and wanted this for so long. There was no way he was rushing it. She gasped at the sensation as she broke the kiss touching her lips while eyeing his own. Throwing caution to the wind she grabbed his face and kissed him with all the emotion she had been hiding. This kiss was frenzied and feverish, passionate and all encompassing. Their tongues battled for dominance as their lungs screamed for release. She tugged at the hair on the nape of his neck while he let out a guttural moan as his spine tingled in response to her actions. He began to palm and massage her breasts through her shirt as she whimpered in appreciation. She sat up briefly and slowly began taking off her shirt before straddling and grinding into his hardness. They were blurring lines between friends and lovers. Melding emotional intimacy with physical intimacy and reveling in the long-awaited feel of their bodies joining. Soon moans, grunts, breathy declarations of love, and promises of forever filled the room.

Mercedes woke up to her sheet clinging to her naked body. She was startled as she looked at Sam lying next to her but as her eyes surveyed the room, her mind began to go back to the previous night. Clothes were discarded at the base of the bed and two condom wrappers were crumbled by the trash can near her nightstand. Briefly closing her eyes she remembered how she felt last night. At the height of their passion, Sam looked into her eyes and intertwined their fingers as he gently moved inside of her. She stared back into his eyes and knew she was going to love him forever. She was so grateful that she gave herself to someone who she trusted completely, someone who would protect her without fail, and someone who loved her as fervently as she loved him. She turned again to watch him sleep staring at the way his chest rose and fell with every breath he took. She beamed as the sun peeked through her window and shined brightly on her beautiful boy.

She wondered if this is what it would feel like to be his wife. Being able to hold him, touch him, make love to him, wake up next to him. Bear his children and carry his name. She wanted it all and she wanted it with him. Mercedes knew all of that was years away but for now, she was content to just be near Sam, taking in his scent and indulging in the way he felt. He began to stir as his eyes fluttered open.

Sam looked at her with love radiating through his body before placing a light kiss on her bare shoulder. He whispered "Hey beautiful" lightly into her ear causing her to smile instantaneously.

"Hey," she replied. "I love you."

He traced the shape of a heart over hers and kissed it. Then he looked up and planted a small kiss on her lips. "I love you too."

"It feels really good to say that," she chuckled.

"It feels really good to hear you say that," he replied.

She began to pepper his face with light kisses professing her love after each one. He laughed at her ministrations. She then stood and made her way to the bathroom.

"Where are you going," he pouted.

"I'm getting ready to start the day. We can't just lay around in bed you know."

"Why not? It happens to be my new favorite place." He grinned as he drank in the sight of his sheet-covered girlfriend wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Stop" She playfully swatted his arm. "I am going to shower and get dressed. You should do the same." Giving up, he gathered his clothes from the floor and went to the main bathroom.

After they ate breakfast, he suggested an impromptu guitar lesson. She grabbed her guitar from her car and was excited to show him her progress. He stared at her as she bit her lip lightly in concentration while she played. He tried to listen, tried to be a good teacher, but his mind was elsewhere. As she played he gently moved her hair from her shoulder, exposing her neck. He placed soft kisses to her neck and jaw before sucking and nibbling on the exposed flesh.

She grimaced when she played the wrong chord.

"Sam!"

"Yes baby," he wasn't letting up the assault on her neck, not that she minded.

"You're distracting me."

"Is that so," he challenged.

Mercedes began to moan as Sam sucked on a sensitive area on her neck. All notions of practicing went out the window. Soon Mercedes flung her arms and greedily kissed him. He returned her fervor, failing to realize his phone was ringing. After a few minutes, he answered. His father was calling to let him know the Jones were on their way home and he should be headed home himself.

After looking at the goofy but serene look on his son's face, he knew something happened. He immediately regretted his decision to let Sam stay with Mercedes alone. Staring in his son's eyes, Dwight asked, "Did you protect her?"


	7. Upheaval Pt. I

Looking back you can see the point when your life began to unravel. It starts off small, a kink in the otherwise smooth roadmap you've created. Soon it becomes overwhelming causing you to swerve to avoid damaging others until you fall headfirst into your doom. Who knew that the key to Sam and Mercedes' undoing lie in a perfect baby girl Quinn and Puck gave away to Ms. Corcoran?

After the prom queen fiasco, Quinn was becoming slowly unhinged. She spent the whole year trying to regain the perfection she lost once she got pregnant, and for a while, it worked. She was the head cheerleader, had the poster boy for perfection on her arm and was a shoo-in to win Junior Prom Queen. She wasn't sure if the caterpillar was pained when it began its metamorphosis to become a butterfly but her heart broke for the things and people she had to leave behind. People who did nothing but love and support her during the hardest time in her life. She was able to block out every horrible memory from the previous year when fissures began to threaten her peace. First, she lost the boy, then she lost the head cheerleader role and finally, sadly, she lost the crown. She sat confused, flawed and alone.

Quinn constantly strived for perfection throughout her life; her pregnancy with Beth was the only time that she put someone else's needs before her own and made their well-being her top priority. Being pregnant with Beth was the first time it didn't matter if everything was perfect and she latched onto that feeling. Her heart broke and mended a thousand times when she held her baby in her hands and gave her to Ms. Corcoran. Soon every perfect thing she had ever done was transferred onto the baby. She desperately tried to regain that perfection but only came to one conclusion—Beth was the only little perfect thing she had. The only thing she ever did right. Her heart stopped when she saw her baby in Lima again. She realized the only perfect thing that ever mattered, the only thing to strive for was Beth—she had to get her little girl back. In her mind getting Beth back became her single objective in life. Any sin could be absolved if it was done in the service of having her little girl in her arms. In Quinn's mind her daughter, who she made the mature decision to give up for adoption, was being paraded around town by Shelby Cochran, a deadbeat to her own daughter who preyed on Quinn's situation to take hers. Guilt was a horrible reason to have a child, and she didn't want Beth caught in the crosshairs of Shelby's attempt to repent.

It was nothing personal against Ms. Corcoran, but Quinn was going to have to prove she was better suited to raise her daughter than Shelby. She had to prove she was the better option and the way to do that was to make Shelby appear to be the worst. One thing Quinn needed to do was place the seeds of doubt in everyone's mind would be for people to question Ms. Corcoran's character. She had it on good authority (an old friend from cheer camp who goes to Carmel) that Shelby was  _really friendly_  with her star performer Jessie St. James. Those accusations were well known within the school and Quinn seriously doubted any judge would allow Beth to stay with some morally ambiguous, lecherous, damaged parental figure just because she happened to be older than her biological parents. That would be easy to argue—with the number of people who knew about her dalliance with the young St. James and her affair with the still-married Mr. Schuster, she would easily be able to paint doubt in any judge's mind of Ms. Corcoran's ability to raise her child. The second, and perhaps hardest thing she had to do was establish herself as the best candidate for Beth. She needed to prove her exemplary character—something easily done in her mind. She volunteered and was active in community service through her church. Any judge would deem Quinn more worthy of her daughter than Ms. Corcoran based on her character alone.

But she knew that with such a high stakes situation she couldn't just focus solely on her character. She would also need to prove she had a stable male figure in her daughter's life—something that would trump Ms. Corcoranin court any day. Immediately she thought of Puck. He was the baby's father after all. But he was also the product of a broken home, had been suspended and in fights throughout high school, and after his latest stint in Juvie, had proven to be a bad choice in the fight to reclaim Beth. She thought of better alternatives and settled on Finn, Mike, and Sam as possible candidates to help her raise Beth. Immediately, she crossed Mike off her list. Even though Mike had all the qualities a judge would favor in a custody battle, she didn't think she would be able to get around Tina who became a pit bull towards any girl that got near her man. The normally meek girl would become lethal if anyone even looked in his direction. She then turned her attention to Finn, the loveable doofus she could easily control. Too bad his controlling shrew of a girlfriend would never loosen her grip on him and she would most likely be spending her time keeping tabs on the sneaky girl—time that would take away from building a case that would take Shelby down. Finally, she saw Sam laughing with Mercedes by a tree. They were sitting in the grass, her back to his front, and he was holding her in his arms and she leaned into his chest. He was whispering in her ear and kissing her neck. They looked like they were in their own little world. They looked like they were in love. They were sickeningly sweet, but looking back they had been since Christmas. Luckily she knew Sam was quick to forgive and easy to manipulate. He was a hot head that would fight tooth and nail for those he loved and react irrationally when he felt betrayed (See Santana as exhibit A). Quinn knew Mercedes better than she knew anyone else—she could effortlessly outmaneuver the girl and play on her insecurities. Again, it was nothing personal but as Quinn saw it Mercedes stood in the way of her having Beth in her arms. Breaking those two up was the least time-consuming choice. Besides, Sam and Mercedes had only been seeing each other a month—that was not enough time to build a deep and meaningful connection, right?

If she weren't able to break them up with Machiavellian schemes, she would use her desperation tactic, her Hail Mary to win the game. She knew Mercedes would stand by Sam on everything but cheating—that was her one unforgivable act. If Mercedes caught the two in a compromising position, she would break up with Sam immediately, leaving him vulnerable and easily influenced. And if she wasn't able to get Beth back, Sam would make an excellent father to a replacement baby they could make. Quinn learned a long time ago, you always need a plan B.

She enlisted Puck's help in the plan (leaving out the Sam part). He would assume she was fighting to get Beth so they could both have her and she would do nothing to right his assumption. She knew that like herself, Puck would do anything for their child. The poor unwitting pawn had no idea that once Quinn had her girl back she planned on keeping him as far away from his daughter as possible. She asked him to kiss Mercedes. He was initially hesitant and confused until she explained that Mercedes would be the only one who would be able to testify against the two being parents, seeing as she was there when Beth was born. She told Puck Mercedes was the only one who knew the whole story between them and could paint them in a bad light thus making it easier for Beth to remain with Ms. Corcoran. Puck begrudgingly agreed and when he asked why kissing the girl would keep Mercedes from testifying, Quinn told him if he kissed Mercedes and Sam somehow saw it, Mercedes would be so devastated that she wouldn't be emotionally stable enough to testify thus lessening the chances of Ms. Corcoran keeping their baby. There were a lot of flaws and assumptions in Quinn's logic, but if even if she was partially right, Puck wouldn't risk losing Beth again.

Puck wanted nothing more than his daughter back but at what cost? He was worried that Quinn was unbalanced and needed some help, but when he met up with Quinn to discuss the plan a few days later and saw his daughter across the street happily tethered to Ms. Corcoran, Puck decided he would do any and every thing to have his baby in his arms. When she first came back into town, Puck and Quinn would go to Ms. Cochran's apartment and see Beth all the time. Recently, without warning, Shelby began limiting their time with Beth, bringing a looming presence to every visitation they had. Shelby felt Quinn was losing her grip on reality and was alarmed to see the way the teen held her baby. It was as if she was latching onto the child. It made Shelby uneasy. After their last visit where it took Shelby ten minutes (after Puck talked Quinn down for five) to get Quinn to give Beth back to her, she decided to restrict the time the girl spent with her baby. The guilt Puck had with participating in breaking up Sam and Mercedes was becoming unbearable, but if it helped to put Beth into his arms, he was going through with it.

As she sat at the Glee club's end of year picnic at Robb Park eager to set her plan into motion, she looked at all of her friends. They all seemed so happy, so content in that moment to just be with each other. People who were former enemies were now the best of friends. She watched as Artie and Mike threw around a football. No one would ever know that Mike and Tina hooked up while she was with Artie, and now it was all water under the bridge. She glanced at Rachel. No one had been ostracized and forgiven more—it seemed like the group was always destroying and rebuilding each other. It was something she always admired about the band of misfits and something she wished she possessed. Quinn wondered if their forgiving nature would still be extended to her after she went through with her plan.


	8. Upheaval Pt. II

Waking up this morning, Sam had an extra spring in his step because he knew today was going to be an unforgettable day. It marked his and Mercedes' two-month anniversary and he had a romantic day planned. They were lucky—her parents were out of town attending a banquet for the Congressional Black Caucus and the Evans were out of town visiting Sam's grandparents in Tennessee. Sam stayed behind because he had to work and his manager couldn't find anyone to cover his shifts. Even though the Evans had a place to live and through the kindness of friends and family had all the essentials they needed to survive, Dwight and Mary were still unemployed and they were surviving off of Dwight's unemployment check. Although the Jones made sure they had anything they could need, the family still needed the supplemental income Sam's part-time job provided. It was the first time that the couple had been alone in weeks—Dwight watched the couple like a hawk and reported everything back to this wife, Audrey and Carl. Sam had the whole day planned and he was more than ready to spoil his girl.

Whenever Sam woke up with Mercedes in his arms, he couldn't help staring at her. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He felt beyond privileged to know her let alone have her love. Sam couldn't believe that this amazing person trusted him with her mind, body, and heart. He vowed to make sure she knew every day how much she meant and how much she healed him. She restored his faith in love. He knew they were young but every moment they spent together he felt invincible—their love was indestructible and could withstand anything. When they first crossed the line from friends to something more, he was afraid that their relationship would weaken, but it has only grown stronger. She couldn't imagine all the ways she changed his life just by being by his side. When he thought about his future, she was always there—as his support, his love, his, wife, and the mother of his children. Her love was an unexpected gift he planned to treasure forever. He thought the immensity of a forever with someone would scare him, especially since he was a teenaged boy, but being with her only made him want to solidify his forever with her.

He slowly padded out of bed to brush his teeth and headed down to the kitchen to prepare his first gift for her—breakfast in bed.

It was no secret—Sam was a horrible cook. He actually burnt toast before. He spent a few weeks practicing making French toast so he didn't poison his beloved. He followed the recipe and tried to keep things simple. He bought and destroyed loaves of bread and cartons of eggs trying to make his surprise edible. He tasted the French toast and deemed it safe to eat. In fact, it was pretty good. He got bold and added eggs and sausage along with fresh fruit and tea. Slowly he brought the food upstairs and placed it on a tray. He smiled when he realized she was already awake.

"Sam," she yawned and stretched, smiling at the display before her. "What's all this?"

"Happy anniversary baby. I love you." He leaned over and placed a sweet kiss on her lips.

"This is so sweet. I love it. Thank you."

He hovered over her as she sampled her breakfast proud of hearing her moan in delight at how the French toast tasted. "This is so good Sam."

He smiled. She didn't have to know how long it took him to make it great. "I have something for you."

"Sam, I don't have your gift here. I thought we were exchanging gifts later."

"I know that's what we agreed on, but I can't wait"

She smiled as she looked up at him. He was so excited it was adorable. "Okay," she said holding out her hands and closing her eyes.

He placed the rectangular box in her hands and implored her to open it with eyes gleaming in anticipation. Mercedes fed off of his excitement, eagerly ripping the gift-wrap and opening the box. She sat speechless staring at the bracelet. It was a beautiful sterling silver charm bracelet with three charms. She looked up at him in shock—she was so full of emotion she started to tear up. "This is beautiful baby. I love it." She touched the charms gently. The first was a black guitar pick, the second a lock with a key attached that had 'forever yours, Sam' engraved on the inside of the key. Finally, she saw a purple… kidney? She wasn't sure. Furrowing her eyebrows in confusion she looked up at him.

"It's a jellybean," he said noticing her confusion.

She reached up and kissed him. "This is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever given me." She kissed him again and he deepened it. Soon her hands slid to his hair and his to her hips, bringing her closer. He grinned when he heard her whimper as he broke the kiss.

"I tried to get more, but I couldn't afford it. "

"I don't need more, this is perfect. I love you so much." Mercedes placed a soothing hand on his cheek. She needed him to know that it meant more to her that he was thinking of her. She didn't want or need him to spend money on her.

"No it's not, but it will be. I promise to get one every month on our anniversary until our one year anniversary. I already know what I'm getting you next." He leaned into her touch, helping her put the bracelet on.

Looking down at his watch, he jumped off the bed "Shit, we're going to be late for your next surprise. Do you think you can get ready in twenty minutes?"

"Sam, next surprise? This is more than enough."

"Mercedes let me spoil you. There's so much you do for me, for  _everyone_ , let me do this for you."

She nodded and went to the bathroom to get ready, giggling as he playfully patted her ass when she walked by.

Her mind was flooded with guesses as she fidgeted in Sam's car with nervous anticipation. She liked to be in control and not knowing where he was taking her was making her a little skittish. The drive to the next destination was relatively quiet. She spent most of the time staring at the window but she would frequently look down at the bracelet rubbing the charms absentmindedly. She hadn't realized it but she had the biggest smile on her face. For the first time in a long time she was truly and completely happy. Being around Sam made her completely happy. Sam kept his eyes on the road but as he glanced at her stroking the charms he held her hand. Linking their fingers he brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed it. It was a perfect moment—no words were needed and every action conveyed their love and trust towards each other.

When he stopped the car, she was a little perplexed. It looked like they were in the middle of nowhere. "Okay, close your eyes".

"Sam, where are we?" She was trying her hardest to go with the flow but it wasn't in her.

"Just trust me," he said grabbing hold of her waist to guide her. After a minute of careful steering, Sam asked Mercedes to open her eyes. When she saw the huge balloon in the middle of the rolling green clearing she was shocked. Secretly, she had always wanted to go on a hot air balloon ride, but was afraid of heights. Something about her faith in Sam made her realize she was actually excited to go.

"Ta-Da," Sam said with flourish. "What do you think?"

"I love this. I love you. Thank you baby" She grabbed his face and gave him a sweet kiss on his lips.

In awe of the view from the sky, she looked up at Sam and smiled. She put her head on his chest leaning into his embrace as he snaked his arms around her waist. The town looked so majestic from this view. Normally, being up this high would cause her to have a panic attack but she was strangely comforted by his touch. In fact, just being near him always had a calming effect on her. His touches both they scared and excited her—she was becoming addicted. Being around Sam gave her the hankering suspicion her fear of heights wouldn't be the only fear conquered merely by his presence and loving embrace.

After a long beat of silence, Mercedes told him exactly how she felt in that moment. "Every day I fall deeper in love with you."

"Every day I feel like this is a dream that I hope to never wake up from. Mercedes Jones, you are it for me—you are my sanctuary." He whispered in her ear and placed a peck on her cheek.

She turned around and placed their foreheads together. Placing her small hand over his heart she said: "This is my home. With you. Always."

Sealing their futures with their present declarations, they kissed languidly as their balloon began their descent back to the field. It was the perfect day.

Sam dropped her off at her place so she could they could get ready for dinner. He got them reservations at  _Mangia! Milano_ , the newest Italian restaurant in Lima. The restaurant had rave reviews and was always booked. Luckily for Sam, he planned ahead and reserved a table when they began dating. Dropping her off and promising to meet her in an hour, Sam went home to ready himself for dinner.

* * *

 

Mercedes smiled at her reflection in the mirror. She looked so happy—she was glowing. Looking on her bed, she glanced at the gift bag that held Sam's gift. She couldn't wait to see his face when he saw the Toby Keith tickets and the season passes for four (she figured Stevie and Stacie could come along) to Cedar Point.

Knocking on the door of the Jones' house, he saw Mercedes looking beautiful and happy. His stomach churned, knowing if he completed his task he would be effectively ruin the relationship of two of the kindest people he had ever met.

"Hey gorgeous, going somewhere," he asked before giving her a friendly kiss on the cheek.

"Puck! What are you doing here? Is everything okay? Thank you, I have a date with Sam. He's taking me out for our anniversary. "

"Do you mind if I come in for a minute? I'd like to talk to you about something."

She looked at the time on her phone. "Sure, I've got a few minutes before Sam is coming to pick me up." She gestured for him to take a seat on the couch.

"What's going on?"

"It's Beth," he croaked out. "I don't think I can take seeing her everyday."

Her heart constricted at the mention of the little girl. "Oh I'm so sorry Puck. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you and Quinn did the mature and responsible thing by giving Beth the best opportunity possible. I'm sure Ms. Cochran would let you see her." She took his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Seeing this as his opportunity he grabbed her, pulling her closer and roughly attached his mouth to hers.

Mercedes was shocked and pulled away from Puck as a pair of green eyes was looking at her distraughtly from her window.

Sam was always punctual, but he knew Mercedes was prone to being fashionably late. He was going to wait for her outside, seeing as it was a beautiful night. He heard faint voices and turned towards the window to see what was going on. What he saw next had the power to destroy him.

The love of his life, with lips that belonged to him, was kissing another.

Sam couldn't take it any longer, he watched in heart shattering silence as the love of his life betrayed him. It turned out she was a cheater just like Quinn and Santana. What hurt worse was he knew she was different. Their betrayal barely fazed him while Mercedes' cut deeper than any knife. His world was falling apart at the seams and he was powerless against it. He couldn't stay any longer. He definitely should have. Had he stayed and spoken to his girlfriend, he would have witnessed Mercedes punch Puck in the face after she broke the kiss. He would have smirked at Puck's bloodied and battered nose, and heard Puck get reamed out by an angry Mercedes Jones. Unfortunately, Sam left before hearing Mercedes profess her love to him and only him. He missed the panic in her face as she left, determined to tell him what happened. Instead Sam ran into the waiting trap Quinn set.

"Hey," she called to him pretending to be out on an evening jog.

Infuriated, he was more focused on getting into his car and as far away from Mercedes as possible to acknowledge Quinn.

With actions laced with false concern, she reached out and touched his arm. "Is everything okay?"

He finally looked up at her. His eyes were red and brimming with unshed tears as his nostrils flared in anger. Quinn's was the last face he wanted to see right now.

"Come on, I'll help you forget about this."

Sam was barely listening as he allowed Quinn to drag him to her house.

She offered him a beer, and told him to sit on her couch. "What happened Sam?"

"The same thing that happened with you and Santana. She got a better offer."

"Sam, don't say that. You're a great guy. I just didn't appreciate you." She touched his knee to reassure him.

"What the hell am I doing here? I catch my Mercedes kissing Puck and I'm talking about it with the first girl that cheated on me? That's too weird for me. I need an explanation. I have to find Mercedes."

"Wait, I know I didn't treat you right when we were together, but I still consider you a friend. Please stay and talk. Besides, I don't think it's best to see Mercedes yet. "

He begrudgingly agreed, plopping back down on the couch and guzzling the beer Quinn offered. "You want another," she asked as he nodded in the affirmative.

Quinn couldn't have planned it better. All the pieces fell into place and the pathway back to Beth opened a little wider.

She slipped a liquid substance in his drink and led him to drown his sorrows in the second beer she offered him.

His head was pounding and the room was spinning. He didn't know what happened but he thought the drink he had must have been really strong if he blacked out and didn't finish it.

Mercedes searched frantically for Sam for an hour. She called everyone who would know where he was and no one knew. Resigned she turned her attention to checking up on Quinn. After speaking with Puck, she realized she needed to check up on Quinn. If Puck was upset about Beth, she was sure Quinn was inconsolable. Despite everything, Mercedes felt no one deserved peace more than Quinn. She stood at Quinn's residence to find the door slightly open. Worried, she slowly opened the door with one hand ready to dial 911 on her cell.

Standing in Quinn's living room, all of Mercedes' senses dulled, her body only being able to focus on one thing—the image of Sam and Quinn panting on Quinn's living room couch stark naked.

"Mercedes," Quinn quipped from her spot under Sam feigning shock. Internally, the shrewd girl was smirking at how successful her plan was.

"Mercedes?" Once Sam saw her, he pushed off Quinn and tried to make his way over to her.

Finding the courage to speak, she uttered one word "don't" as she backed slowly away. She held her chest for fear that her heart was going to fall out her body willing the tears to remain in her eyes.

Mercedes had never had such a feeling of utter decimation. This pain was soul crushing and heart numbing. She stood with her mouth agape for a few seconds before turning her back on them, subconsciously trying to erase the image from her heart and mind. This hurt would break her; it would change her if she gave into it. It would become a wound that could never heal. Mercedes felt like she would die if she didn't get some distance and talk some time to lick her wounds. Quickly she headed to the door, ignoring Sam's protestations and excuses, ran home and packed a bag.

" _Baz, I need you," she sobbed into the phone._

" _Where are you?"_

" _In front of your house."_


	9. The Aftermath

Sam's world was shattered. Trying and failing miserably to figure out what happened, it seemed that he tried to put together a puzzle with too many missing pieces. His life collapsed in an instant. Sam found the girl he planned on marrying kissing the resident sex shark and she found him on Quinn's sofa naked with no idea of how he got there or why it happened. All he knew was that in the moment she found them, Sam had never been so ashamed. He let them both down. All of Sam's promises of forever earlier in the day seemed like sweet, bitter irony now. His judgment was hazy and his heart was annihilated. Worst of all, he saw the look on Mercedes' face and sunk to deeper depths because he knew he was responsible for it. Finally realizing he wasn't alone, Sam looked down to see Quinn on the floor. Looking at her confused and crestfallen, he asked, "What happened? What did we do?" He ran a finger through his hair as his eyes darted around the room, mind trying to catch up to body and heart desperately demanding the truth.

Quinn looked at him smirking. "I thought it was obvious, but if you want me to draw you a picture…"

Her remark made the bile rise from his spirit. How could he do that to Mercedes at all let alone with a girl he barely tolerated? "Can you just tell me how I got here?" His eyes pleaded with Quinn for truth.

Quinn sighed. "You came over here when you saw Mercedes kiss Puck. You seemed to be drunk and I thought you could use a friend, maybe spend some time here cooling off and sobering up. I asked you to tell me about what had you so upset when you told me you never stopped loving me and kissed me. One thing led to another and we made love."

None of what she said made sense. Not to his heart. Not to his soul. But he couldn't dispute the facts as she laid them out when he was sprawled across her sofa naked. Quickly searching for his clothes and putting them on he tried to quickly make his escape and find Mercedes. He stopped his actions once he heard Quinn's still, unsure voice.

"Please don't tell me you regret it." Quinn looked down and held herself. She looked so fragile in that moment and it made Sam feel even worse.

Slowly turning away from the door, he looked her in the eyes. "I'm so sorry Quinn. I'm not sure why this happened but I never meant to hurt you or make you feel bad."

"I'm sorry too," Quinn said shocked at the honesty of her words. "Just go. Find her. Maybe you can work it out." Internally she cheered at her expert acting skills. Manipulating these two was easier than she thought.

* * *

 

Mercedes felt like a zombie, numb to all emotions, stoically moving along her life. Her actions were robotic—she packed a bag, withdrew a large chunk of her savings, texted her parents to tell them where she was headed, bought a ticket and hopped on a bus. The destination was 20 hours away, which gave her ample time to collect her thoughts and try to piece together all that fell horrendously apart. Physically and emotionally exhausted, her body drifted in and out of consciousness. She thought her relationship with Sam was indestructible—who knew it would all fall apart in the blink of an eye? The sudden change left her questioning every feeling she felt with him and every word he said. Sam surely wasn't thinking about her being his sanctuary when he was balls deep in Quinn Fabray. Mercedes felt like an idiot—she had never been so wrong about someone. Sam bested her and made Mercedes his fool.

She needed a refuge—a place to go where someone would support and encourage her decisions, a place where someone would listen to her. That place used to be the Evans', but now she had to forge ahead without them. She decided to take her usual trip to see Baz a little earlier this year because she needed to see someone she trusted. Her parents wouldn't be home for another few days and she couldn't bear being alone. Confiding in someone from Glee club may cause more friction.

"Baz, I need you," she sobbed into the phone.

"Where are you?"

"In front of your house."

Baz flung open the door to receive a crumbled Mercedes in his arms. Before she moved to Lima, Sebastian Smythe and Mercedes Jones were close. They were in each other's classrooms from first through fifth grade and they lived in the same cul-de-sac in Houston. She nicknamed him Baz when she was 6 and asked if she could sit next to him on the first day of first grade. When she moved they both clung to each other—afraid the distance would end their friendship. They made a promise to spend some time together every summer and talk on the phone so they could stay friends. Both children kept their promises as they alternated destinations through the years. This year Mercedes was scheduled to go to Houston in August, but her heart implored her to seek refuge with an understanding friend two weeks earlier.

"What happened?"

She looked up at him and mustered all of her strength to give him a watery smile. Being near her old friend was comforting, at least for a little while, and help to ease the ache in her heart, if only for a moment.

"I don't want to talk about it right now. Is it okay that I'm here?"

"Yeah, I'm always happy to see you. I want to help you through whatever's going on. Promise me we'll talk in the morning." She nodded in agreement. Sebastian took her bag and showed her to the guest room. He waited until she drooped on the bed beside him placing her head on his shoulder. He placed a kiss in her hair and held her close. Watching as she floated into sleep, he laid her down on the bed and tucked her in.

Mercedes always slept well when she visited Baz, but tonight she was restless. She writhed and mumbled as sleep overtook her. She was having a nightmare.

_Mercedes was walking through an open field wearing a long flowing dress looking peaceful and carefree. Suddenly night fell; she was no longer in the meadow and had instead been transported to a graveyard. Her surroundings were dark and menacing, evil lurking around every corner. She was terrified until Sam stood right in front of her staring at her intently. He looked into her eyes and pressed his forehead to hers as a single tear fell from his eye. Sam took his hand and covered her stomach, holding it there for a while. He held her close for a moment, neither speaking but neither pulling away. Soon he stepped back still looking in her eyes and in his right hand he had a gun, which was now cocked at her. Mercedes eyes followed the gun's path and she gasped when she looked down and saw that it was pointed to her protruding belly. Surprised, she looked down and stared at her belly noticing her stomach moving. Her baby was kicking. Feeling her baby was making her cry she felt so connected to this tiny person that she couldn't wait to meet. She was overcome with emotion. Looking up at the gun again, she pled with her eyes that he spares her baby, but his image quickly morphs into Quinn's. The girl was wearing a devious smile and she fired the gun in the blink of an eye. Mercedes let out a blood-curdling scream as she touched her stomach only to find blood on her trembling hands. She stared up at her shooter with eyes transfixed on the smoke coming out of the barrel of the gun._

Back in Lima, Sam jerked out of his sleep with the distinct smell of smoke in his nose. He ran around the house, checking to make sure his family (who was still visiting his grandparents in Tennessee) wasn't in harm's way. Then he frantically searched for the cause of the smoky smell. Checking and rechecking the home, he realized it must have been a figment of his imagination and drifted back to sleep, a little shaken.

Mercedes jumped out of the bed breathing heavily and placing her hand on her chest in an attempt to steady her heart. The dream was bizarre and she couldn't understand why but she felt it had some profound meaning she was meant to uncover. Mostly she was alarmed at how  _real_  it all felt. It left her upset and hollow but mostly it made her yearn for Sam's touch. Mercedes didn't understand what it all meant but she knew she needed to take control of the situation and fast before it swallowed her whole. Her brain was frazzled and she was internally dreading the conversation with Baz that would be had in the morning.

She hated him, but mostly she hated herself. How could this man that deeply betrayed her still take up residence in her mind and heart? How could she still care for his well-being? How could she still entertain thoughts of being with him? Why did she feel so  _connected_  to him?

* * *

 

When morning came, she groaned when she heard Baz knocking outside the door. "Rise and shine buddy, I made coffee."

"Come on Baz," she shot out. "I was on a bus for 20 hours, can't I have 5 more minutes?"

"Nope. Up and at em' sunshine." He handed her the mug and sat at the end of the bed. "So, tell me what happened." He was so always cheery in the morning. It was sickeningly annoying.

She sighed.

"Ah," he interrupted before she said anything. "No hiding, tell me everything."

Mercedes smiled—Baz really did know her. She tried to compose her thoughts, but she was failing miserably. Finally she let it all spew out of her, telling her friend every detail, from them meeting in kindergarten and camp as kids to them ending up going to the same high school in Ohio. She told him about the guitar lessons and the attraction she felt that quickly grew to love. She told him about their first time and how secure she felt with him.

"So that's why you haven't been around lately." He missed their random Skype sessions and their weekly phone calls.

"I'm sorry, Baz. I just got so wrapped up in being in love with Sam." She looked down in shame, realizing for the first time how she built her world around Sam, and how consuming their relationship was.

"None of this sounds bad." He arched an eyebrow knowing there was more.

"I didn't get to the bad yet." Her eyes began to water as she recounted the last time she saw Sam. When did she get so weak?

"Oh Mercedes, I'm so sorry." He pulled his friend into a hug.

She shrugged. "What am I going to do? I gave him everything I had and he threw it in my face. My future was wrapped around him and now I'm not sure what to do."

Baz looked at her in shocked confusion. Mercedes Jones was a planner. She was resilient and she would never let a man consume her life. What happened to his strong, independent friend? He already hated Sam and he never met him.

After watching her take a few sips of coffee in silence he stood. "Get up. I want to show you something."

"Can we just lay around today? I'm really tired."

"No, you're not. You're depressed, and I'm not letting you mope around another minute. You are getting your life back and I am going to help."

He was unrelenting and she was powerless to stop him. Rolling her eyes she finally gave up. "Fine. I'll meet you downstairs in thirty."

"I'm glad you see things my way." He smiled before his expression turned solemn and his voice became softer. "Hey Cede, I want to let you know you have every right to be sad. I just want you to understand I'm going to do everything in power to make you smile."

"I know. Thanks. I really missed you." She wiped a tear from her eye.

"Me too. Thirty minutes."

They drove in silence for ten minutes before pulling into the visitor's parking lot at the University of Houston.

"They have a killer engineering program," Baz explained. "I thought it would be good if we both checked the school out. I know you want to come back home to Houston for college." She smiled as he nudged her shoulder.

She smiled at how excited he was to tour the engineering department and laughed at his face when he saw the dorms. Being with Baz was somehow making everything better. Feeding off his energy, she became excited about visiting colleges in the fall.

Stopping at the music composition department, they popped their heads into a classroom about influential songwriters. They tried to sit in the back so they wouldn't disturb the lecture. Mercedes was so enthralled in the lesson she blocked out everything around her.

The professor, who she surmised was named Dr. Adkins since it was written on the board, was discussing the power behind the words an artist chooses. "The best songs, the songs that elicit the most emotions are written by influential songwriters. They are songs that let you see into someone's soul and allow you to see their soul reflected in yours."

Scanning the room, his face stopped on Mercedes. He called her out. "Miss…"

She hoped he wasn't talking to her, but he was pointing right at her and all the students in the classroom had their eyes on her as well. "Me," she asked.

"Yes you. What's your name?"

"Um, Mercedes. Mercedes Jones"

"Ms. Jones, sing a song that mirrors how you feel at this moment."

More than anything, Mercedes wanted to be invisible. She hated being put on the spot, but she thought 'why not'. It was unlikely she would ever see these people again anyway. She might as well give them a show.

She began to sing, first soft and unsure but turning clear and full of emotion as she continued.

 **I know what I said**  
Was heat of the moment  
But there's a little truth in between the words we've spoken  
Its a little late now to fix the heart that's broken  
Please don't ask me where I'm going  
Cause I don't know  
No I don't know anymore

 **It used to feel like heaven**  
**Used to feel like may**  
**I used to hear those violins playing heart strings like a symphony**  
**Now they've gone away**  
**Nobody wants to face the truth**  
**But you wont believe what love can do**  
**Till it happens to you**  
**Till it happens to you**

 **Went to the old flat**  
**Guess I was trying to turn the clock back**  
**How come that nothing feels the same now when I'm with you**  
**We used to stay up all night in the kitchen**  
**When our love was new**  
**Oooh love I'm a fool to believe in you**  
**Cause I don't know**  
**No I don't know**  
**Anymore**

 **It used to feel like heaven**  
**It used to feel like May**  
**I used to hear those violins playing heart strings like a symphony**  
**Now they've gone away**  
**Nobody wants to know the truth**  
**Until their hearts broken**  
**Don't you dare tell them**  
**What you think to do**  
**Till they get over**  
**You can only learn these things**  
**From experience**  
**When you get older**  
**I just wish that someone would have told me**  
**Till it happens to you**  
**Till it happens to you**  
**Till it happens to you**

**-Corinne Bailey Rae (Till it Happens to You)**

The room was silent as she finished her song. Soon they erupted into thunderous applause. "Beautifully sung Ms. Jones. Tell me, what is the emotion you felt that made you sing those lyrics?" What mirrored emotion can we find in your soul?

She thought for a minute before responding. "Loss."

Dr. Adkins looked intrigued by her response. "Good answer. Now you're thinking like a lyricist." Turning his attention to the class he boomed, "Okay everyone next week I want to see more people volunteering. Have a great week."

Baz smiled at her. She was looking like herself again. Turning to his friend he asked," so, what did you think?"

"What did I think? I wish I was done with high school so I could go here now."

"Stop Cede. Don't wish away senior year. Those are memories that'll last a lifetime," he mocked.

She giggled. "Yeah, I'm  _really_  looking forward to it."

They walked in silence to his car. She had a lot to absorb. He stepped in front of her, stepping in her path. "This is what we have to look forward to," he said gesturing to the campus. "This is our future. You can't let a broken heart ruin your future. Promise me you won't."

"I promise."

* * *

 

The week was spent rediscovering her friendship with Baz. While everything else unraveled around her Baz was always there. Two days before she was leaving, Baz got called away to help his father at his law firm so she spent her remaining time studying. After some soul-searching she knew exactly what path she was going to take. The next step was to get her parent's approval. She spent a lot of time talking to her parents and making plans with her parents to return. The time to hide out was over—she was going to confront her problems and face her future.

Sam spent his week withdrawing from everyone. He wanted to be left alone. Refusing to believe he did anything with Quinn, he tried to avoid her. He called and left messages for Mercedes. After the third day of no contact, he realized her phone was turned off and she wasn't going to take his call. When her parents came back, he asked where she was and how he could contact him. This confused her parents, since they thought the two were inseparable. He didn't want to be the one to break the news of his and Mercedes' relationship troubles, so he kept the conversation congenial. Sam was going to have to wait, he just wondered how long he could.

* * *

 

Mercedes came home Sunday afternoon—just in time for the weekly Evans/Jones family dinner night. Mercedes was not looking forward to this dinner—it was going to be torturous. Her parents wanted to hear all about Houston and Baz; she was excited to share every last detail. "Mom, Dad I have something to tell you."

"What is it pumpkin," Carl asked feeling the mood shift in the conversation.

"I want to move to Houston and I want to go to the University of Houston"

Audrey was proud. "Baby that's an excellent school. I can't believe you're leaving us to go to college next year."

Mercedes shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "I want to go now. While I was in Houston I got my GED." She pulled out the certificate the testing center gave her when she passed. I want to take some courses as a non-matriculated student in the fall and enroll full time in the winter."

Stunned, her parents looked at each other then back at her. "Why don't you want to finish high school? It's your senior year! What brought this on?"

"This is the best thing for me right now. I could have an apartment with free rent. Mr. Smythe has been rehabbing condos near the university and needed someone who could report tenant complaints directly to him. Baz is there and he'll look out for me. It's time for me to grow up."

"That's not his job. We look after you!" Audrey was torn between crying and locking her child away.

"When? You're always away. I know the world needs saving but do you always have to be the one that does it? I'm alone most of the time anyway. I can handle myself. I never ask for anything. Please let me do this."

After heated words, long talks and longer hugs, the Jones begrudgingly agreed to let Mercedes go to Houston on her own with some very strict guidelines she had to follow.

"We were thinking of moving anyway. No sense in having this big house when all of our family is scattered. I loved living in Houston. Maybe we should look in the area." Carl turned and looked at Audrey for confirmation.

She nodded and looked at Mercedes before taking her daughter's hand. "I never meant to make you feel like you weren't as important as everyone else. You mean the world to me."

Mercedes smiled and squeezed her mother's hand. "I know."

After tears were wiped and more hugs were given, Mercedes helped her mother prepare dinner. As they gathered around the kitchen table Mercedes was tense. She didn't know how she would feel seeing Sam again. She just knew she wasn't going to run away anymore. All tension was alleviated when the younger Evans siblings greeted her with hugs and chatter. She loved Stacy and Stevie and she was going to miss them. Her smile got wider when she saw Mr. and Mrs. Evans. "Starshine," Mr. Evans greeted with a hug. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes? Where you been hiding yourself? I've missed seeing you around the house."

"I'm okay. How was Tennessee," she deflected.

Sensing Mercedes was troubled, his tone changed. "Are you okay?" He was growing concerned from all the things she wasn't saying and he pulled her into another hug.

"I'm fine Mr. Evans, I'll be fine. Thanks."

"If you want to talk, you know where to find me." With that, he walked off unable to shake the ominous feeling in his heart.

Her smile disappeared when Sam approached. "Mercedes can we talk, please?" She could barely stomach looking at him. Every time she looked into his eyes, her mind flashed back to seeing him on Quinn's couch. "Not right now Sam." She quickly found a seat at the table far away from him, trying to ignore the hurt expression on his face.

Carl interrupted everyone's conversations. "Before we eat, Mercedes has an announcement she would like to make."

All eyes turned to her. Finding the courage to speak, she began.

"I'm leaving Lima."


	10. Last Meetings

Sam felt emotionally stunted. He had no idea what he could do to make her stay. Her words were like thousand pound cinder blocks weighing heavy on his heart. He continuously had to remind himself to breathe. Sam had to get her alone. He had to talk to her and convince her to stay.

Dwight had a feeling he couldn't shake that something had gone terribly wrong between the Sam and Mercedes. Judging by the hurt and guilty look on his son's face, he assumed Sam failed her somehow. Dwight was going to have a talk with his son before the night was over.

Mercedes looked out at the Evans smiling at how easily they all took up spaces in her heart. "Thank you all for being my friend. You immediately took me in and made me feel welcome. I love each and every one of you and this year I have been the happiest I have been in a long time. That's because of you all. I am honored you allowed me into your lives and I hope to keep in touch. "She looked out at all of them, but skillfully avoided Sam's gaze.

Stevie looked at his brother with murderous eyes. "You," he yelled at his brother. "This is all your fault! What did you do?"

Mercedes put her head down. All eyes turned to Sam as his eyes began filling with tears. He jumped up and abruptly left the Jones' residence.

"What the hell was that," Dwight remarked. "I apologize for that boy's actions. He was raised to act better than that."

"Not your fault," Audrey said, waving Dwight's apology away. "Apparently somebody's not telling us something." She arched her eyebrow and turned in her daughter's direction.

"And she's not the only one," Mary echoed looking towards the door her son just stormed out of.

Before they could ask another question or make another observation, Mercedes took Stevie's hand and led him to the living room. "Stevie, it's nobody's fault I'm moving. I am doing this for me."

"I know he did something. He's been so quiet and guilty since we came back. I'm sorry for whatever he did to make you go away. Please don't leave." She heard the little boy sniffle, which broke her heart a little more.

"Aww sweetie I have to. This isn't going to change anything. If you ever need me you can always call me. Tell you what. I'm not leaving for another week. Why don't you pick a day that we can spend together, deal?" She stuck her hand out and waited for him to shake it.

"Deal." He shook her hand and gave her a hug.

"Come on, let's head back. I'd hate for your broccoli to get cold."

"Yay," he said in mock enthusiasm, which made her giggle. She was really going to miss Stevie.

When they rejoined the table, Mercedes went over to Stacy gave her a hug and whispered that they would have a girls day before she left. She then sat back in her seat.

The dinner was tense and although Mercedes wasn't usually a nervous eater, she had seconds and dessert. Her parents weren't letting up and looking into Stacy and Stevie's devastated faces was doing nothing to quell the doubt that was rising in her heart about her decision. She asked to be excused so she could begin packing.

* * *

 

Dwight came home looking for answers. Mary sensed her husband was furious at her son and decided to take Stacy and Stevie out for ice cream while he spoke to Sam.

Skipping the steps two at a time to get to his son, Dwight's face was firm when he opened his son's door. "What the hell is wrong with you boy?" His expression softened when he saw his son. Sam was hunched over in his bed, his shoulders shaking and his face red from sobbing. Dwight immediately went over to Sam and hugged the broken boy.

"What's going on son? Why are you and Mercedes acting like it hurts to be around each other? Why do I get the feeling you have something to do with Mercedes' decision to leave?"

"I messed up, dad. I messed up and she hates me so much she never wants to see me again."

Horrified at his son's emotional display he asked, "What did you do," forcing all of the worse case scenarios out of his mind.

"I don't remember. I blacked out. All I remember was waking up naked on Quinn's couch with Quinn on top of me."

Dwight's jaw dropped. He didn't expect that kind of revelation to leave his son's lips.

"I told you to protect that girl. How can you protect her if you cheat on her with the girl who treated you like shit?"

Sam fanned his hands out on his face. "I know. I have no clue what happened. I was hurt because I saw Mercedes kissing Puck and Quinn was comforting me."

Dwight scoffed at his son's poor choice of words. "Well I hate to tell you this, but you don't deserve a girl like Mercedes. That girl should be treasured."

Hearing his dad's words made Sam crumble again.

"You better think about what you're going to say to Mercedes and it better be heartfelt. I've seen you these last few days—you've been miserable. If you don't fix this, and soon, you're going to lose her forever."

"I don't know how to live without her."

"Then choose your words carefully and make them count." Dwight gave his son one more pat on the back before leaving Sam alone with his thoughts.

Mercedes had a long, emotionally taxing week filled with tears hugs and goodbyes. Today was her last day in Lima, and she was happy to be leaving. Being in this town was making her nauseous. In fact, she spent the better part of her morning throwing up. Maybe the move was making her nervous. All she knew was she needed to put distance between her and Sam. The longer she stayed the more she felt her resolve weakening. Mercedes could actually forgive his unfaithfulness and she found that to be unacceptable. Sebastian was right- she was turning into a completely different person, hopelessly surrendering to Sam. Besides she had been home for a week and he hadn't reached out to her. Maybe he was doing her a favor, getting her prepared for what the rest of her life would be like without him.

Trying to ignore the hurt that statement caused, she focused on the moment and the friends she was leaving. Her mother was throwing her a goodbye party and invited everyone from Glee and church. With Puck and Sam in attendance, this party had the potential to break her.

Her mother was pleased with the turnout and scanned the room, smiling at everyone. "Where's Quinn?"

"Quinn already gave me a lovely parting gift a few weeks ago," she said with bite staring into the eyes of her ex-boyfriend. Sam looked down to the ground.  _Coward_.

"Sweetie, what's going on with you and Sam and how does it involve Quinn?"

"Nothing's going on mama." She gave her mom a peck on the cheek. "Thank you for doing this. I love it."

"We will talk about this later," Audrey said watching her baby disappear into the crowd of well-wishers.

"Hey Mercedes, can I talk to you?"

"What do you want Puck?"

"I just wanted to apologize. You deserve better than what I did. I'm so sorry. I really thought I was helping Beth."

"I just don't get you. You can be so much better, but you choose to be a jackass. I don't even know why you did it? Were you lonely? Bored? I can't believe you used your daughter like that."

"At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. I'll make this up to you I promise."

Forgiveness absent in her tone she croaked out "thanks for being here" before moving to talk to other partygoers.

Puck knew he was far from forgiven and the only way to redeem himself would be to fix the mess he helped create.

"Mercedes?"

She turned around when she saw the usually prim Rachel Berry with red puffy eyes.

"Rachel, are you crying?"

"I never told you that of everyone in New Directions you were the only one good enough to be my competition. I'm a little sad we won't be leading the club to victory together this year."

Mercedes was confused by the sudden altruism the manipulative girl displayed. That was as close as Rachel could get to a compliment. Slightly smiling she replied, "thanks, Rachel."

"I'm going to hug you now."

She accepted the awkward hug from Rachel before excusing herself.

Mercedes smiled brightly when she saw Mr. Evans headed her way. She had a going away present for him that she was dying to share.

"I'm really gonna miss you. You know my whole family will."

"I'm going to miss you guys too,"

After a beat, he felt compelled to ask her the question that had been gnawing at him since she announced her departure. "Are you doing this because it's best for you or are you running away from my son?"

"I'm doing this because I have to. Loving Sam is the greatest gift I have ever gotten, but it's also restricting. I feel bound to him, deeply connected to his fears, hopes, and dreams. Our love is all consuming and if I don't leave, it'll swallow me whole. It took him hurting me, us hurting each other to see that."

"Nothing matters more to me than your happiness. I want you to fight for yourself. Don't let anyone soil the treasure in you."

Mercedes gave the elder Evans a hug. "Thanks, Mr. Evans. I love you. You've become a second father to me, which is why I want to give you this." She handed him the paper she held in her hand.

I can't accept this," he said trying to hand the paper back to him.

"My grandfather gave me his house. He told me to make sure I kept it in the family. Mr. Evans, you are my family and I want you to use it to keep yours safe."

This girl was kind and gracious beyond her years. He marveled at her and vowed he would make sure she was always protected. "Let's say I'll hold onto this for safekeeping."

"Please keep it for me," she said hugging him again. "I'm really going to miss you." Her eyes began to water for the fifth time that day.

"Oh Starshine, you have no idea. I love you, darling." Dwight would never admit he shed a tear at the prospect of never seeing Mercedes again. "Take care of yourself." He gave her one more hug and kissed her temple as he watched her smile and prepare to leave.

* * *

 

Sam watched from the sidelines as Mercedes said her goodbyes to everyone. It took him all week to muster the courage to speak to Mercedes. He played and replayed the words in his head. Sam was afraid or her reaction, but his heart was terrified of losing her. He watched as she stood by her gazebo, quietly taking everything in. She hadn't been alone all day and Sam saw it as a perfect opportunity to speak with her. Taking a deep breath, he stood next to her.

"Hey," he said staring straight ahead.

"Sam," she replied curtly.

"Can we talk?"

"We are talking." She began to turn away from him.

"No, I mean really talk?"

"Unbelievable, you haven't spoken to me this whole week and you wait until the day I'm leaving to talk? You're not who I thought you were."

Gently turning her towards him, Sam stared into her eyes. "Please Mercedes? Can you meet me at our place in ten minutes?

' _Please make this right Sam, I need you now more than ever_ ,' her heart battled with her mind and her pride wouldn't let her reveal her true emotions.

She had her arms crossed looking straight ahead and stared quietly for a few more minutes before turning to him and acknowledging his presence, "Ten minutes."

Mercedes stood in silence at the entrance to the factory, unsure of how to begin. She hoped wholeheartedly that this conversation would end in reconciliation, but she prepared to never see Sam again. She needed answers to very specific questions and without them readied herself to lose her best friend and soul mate.

"You're worth fighting for. We're worth fighting for. Don't do this. Please don't do this."

"I didn't do this. You did this. Don't you dare put this on me." Mercedes was seething.

"This is on both of us! I am not sure what happened that night. I just know when you kissed Puck I lost it. How could you do that?"

"I didn't kiss Puck! He kissed me. I pulled away and punched him. I told him you were it for me." She laughed bitterly. "You didn't even let me explain. Quinn cheated on you and you still gave her the chance to explain. Speaking of Quinn, how could you do that to me? I trusted you. I gave you all of me and you slept with her." She stepped closer to him. "I'll call everything off if you can just tell me what happened. Tell me why you did it. You owe me that much."

Sam's face blanched. He couldn't tell her what he didn't understand himself. "I don't know what happened but I promise you I don't care about Quinn okay. I couldn't think straight when I saw you two. I put you on a pedestal and I thought you turned out to be just like Quinn and Santana. I should have listened to you. I'll regret it for the rest of my life." He was sincerely remorseful and he needed another chance. She could explain her actions but he couldn't begin to explain his, and he knew all she needed was the explanation he couldn't provide. "Just please, please stay." He held her close to him.

" I can't." As much as she wanted to melt into his touch, she didn't, she couldn't. "Let me go Sam." It pained her to push him away, but she had to for her sanity. He only held her closer. "I'll never let you go." She began to tremble in his arms, trying to pull away and stop the tears from falling. Looking into his eyes, she saw he was doing the same thing. "You have to let me go."

"I can't," he said as more tears fell down his face. "I'll never be able to let you go." He stared at her with all the love and intensity he had in his heart for her.

They began a battle of wills, both holding onto each other and both knowing they couldn't any longer. They kissed, lingering and hesitant at first but slowly gaining fire with every passing second. Their tongues collided and battled with each other in their familiar dance. Sam traced his fingers along Mercedes' body, knowing this was the last chance he would get to hold her this close, painfully trying to commit her touch and taste to memory. They ignored the pain that built in their lungs, stubbornly trying to hold each other for as long as possible. Their hearts were screaming for them to stay together but their minds knew it was too late. They allowed a tiny fissure in their relationship to grow into to a canyon. The damage cut too deep and felt too irreparable. Finally, Mercedes pried Sam's fingers from hers and turned away quickly, leaving him clutching his chest in their special meeting place pondering lost love.

Sam stared at the place she left for hours he didn't want to move. He was suspended in that moment, unable to leave, knowing if he set one foot outside their place it was all truly over. After three hours he gathered the courage to move. He took one step. Then another. Soon he found himself walking towards home with an ache the size of a crater in his chest. This was beyond loneliness, graver than any loss he ever experienced. Worst of all, he had a part in preventing it.

When he got to his room he saw a gift bag sitting on his bed. Curious, he pulled out its contents. With watering eyes he opened the two boxes, one holding season passes to Cedar point and another holding tickets to attend the Toby Keith. He didn't realize he could possibly break anymore. Gathering all the strength he had, he opened the card, fearing its contents would lead him to his doom.

_Through all the pretense and second-guessing, in spite of all my fears you pushed through. You loved me and your light shone through the darkness in my heart. I've never felt so connected to anyone or cherished by anyone. Thank you for loving me. Happy anniversary baby! I look forward to many more—Love Mercedes._

Clutching the card to his chest, he fell back onto his bed. When he heard a light jingle he looked over to the bag to find the charm bracelet he gave Mercedes two weeks ago sprawled across the floor.

It took him a while before he understood she was really gone. Mercedes left and took with her all of the promises they made. It's not so easy to move on. Not when his heart was attached to hers and now because of a big misunderstanding on his part that escalated in his committing the ultimate betrayal, he never could. He was still bound to her, even though she went away. The week they didn't communicate created unspeakable distance, causing their fight to become monolithic and all-encompassing. The lack of communication made it so they could never be together. Within two hours of her departure, Sam had to make sure his heart was still beating. Sam missed so much about her but mostly he missed how attached he felt to her. It was almost like they were the same person, sharing the same thoughts and emotions; loving each other with the same heart, peering into the same soul. In an ocean of turbulence, she was his anchor. Now that she was gone he was left wandering aimlessly trying to make sense of it all. Gone were the plans he held for the future, she was all he knew he wanted in life. He needed an outlet for this pain. There were days he wanted to end it all. He ran downstairs and took some scotch out of the locked liquor cabinet. Once he finished a bottle, he grabbed another. If the memories were killing him, he would do everything in his power to forget, working hard to recapture the memory-erasing experience he felt the night he had sex with Quinn.


	11. The Space Between

Looking at the ceiling in Baz's guest room, Mercedes reflected on her relationship with Sam. She thought they were untouchable, that she could trust him completely. Where did it all go wrong? She thought they were perfect, but looking back on how it all progressed she realized they moved too fast. She would never regret giving herself to him, but she could admit they jumped from hesitation to decisiveness too quickly. They didn't fight for each other; they didn't protect their relationship. In one fell swoop they allowed it to easily disintegrate. Instead of staying to get the full story, Sam ran away and without any explanation to Sam's actions she did the same, creating a rupture too deep to mend. Maybe if Mercedes would have looked harder for him that night or if he was confident in their relationship, they would have been strong enough to work it out.

Maybe instead of running away, they should have ran _towards_ each other. They should have worked harder instead of relying on this nonverbal connection that wasn't strong enough to right the wrongs they did to each other. The duo unwittingly took each other for granted. They put too much pressure on each other talking about forever when they were only together for days. But, why did it all feel so  _right_? They truly loved each other and had love in spades, but where was the trust and security in their relationship? They both entered the relationship with major trust issues. When did they stop telling each other how they felt? Why was their natural reaction to run away and why were they both too stubborn to try? Despite all the disappointment and hurt, she felt towards him, Mercedes was certain she was in love with Sam and would probably always love him. She still felt bound to him and was certain that connection would destroy her.

She knew she had to figure out what was going on because this situation was making her physically ill. Something was wrong. She had been throwing up for weeks and she figured it was stress or nerves. She hoped that's all it was, but deep inside she knew it was more, she dreaded it was more. Finally relenting to Baz's worries, she agreed to go see the doctor hoping against hope there was a pill or shot to make it all better.

* * *

 

Sam knew he had been an idiot but he had no idea he had been a fool. It was Puck who initiated the kiss and if he had stayed longer instead of destroying his relationship, Mercedes would have explained what happened and would be with him now. He needed answers, answers that Quinn was unable or unwilling to provide. He lurched up the stairs to Puck's house demanding to speak to him. He banged on the door, yelling at the top of his lungs. "Come out here you piece of shit. We have some things to discuss."

Sam heard the door swing open, as Puck rushed to make sure his family didn't hear the obviously inebriated boy.

"Can you keep your voice down? You're disturbing my family."

"Honestly, I don't care about your family. You've already ruined mine."

Puck sighed. "Look man, I'm sorry about kissing Mercedes."

Sam winced at the mention of Mercedes' name "I don't care about you being sorry. You can take your apology and shove it up your ass. I came for answers." Sam was practically yelling. "Why'd you do it? We were so good. Why'd you have to ruin it?"

"I did it for Beth. I had to protect her. If you were a parent you would understand."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Spare me the wise old man bullshit and tell the truth."

"I thought Mercedes might testify that Ms. Cochran was better suited to raise Beth. I thought by kissing her, she would be too distracted to testify." He was quick not to name Quinn's part in the plan. For some reason, he held some twisted loyalty to her. Puck had never truly realized the insanity in Quinn's logic until now.

Sam balled up his fists and punched Puck in the jaw. The drunken boy loomed over Puck, begging him to get up. "How could you do that to her? She housed your baby, made sure Beth was taken care of, and you scheme to destroy her happiness?"

"I know I was wrong, but I honestly thought I was doing right by Beth at the time."

"What kind of example is that to set for your child?

Puck stood up. "You're right. I'm truly sorry."

"I don't care about your apologies." He grabbed Puck by the collar. "You don't seem to get what you did. She's gone. The love of my life is gone and you're the reason. You're the reason everything is so broken. You're the reason she's gone."

Puck pushed a stumbling Sam off of him. "I'm not the reason your relationship fell apart. You are. All I did was give her a peck on the lips. You're the one who cheated on her with her 'soul sister'"

Sam stopped. As much as he wanted to pin the blame on Puck, he had to admit the boy was right. Punching Puck and threatening him was not going to bring Mercedes back. He dejectedly stalked off to Quinn's. After his conversation with Puck, he needed to forget. He grabbed his flask and downed the vodka it contained.

* * *

 

Quinn was losing. She could literally feel Beth slipping away from her. She had to play this right. There were too many intricate pieces and if she made one mistake, they could take her little girl away forever. Luckily she still had her ace. If she lost, she could always lean on Sam to give her what she wanted, what she needed. In the days following Mercedes departure, Sam was despondent barely eating, barely existing. Quinn knew he would take the break up hard but she had no idea he would be this miserable.

Instead of showing a united front Puck turned on her. He told the court she was emotionally unstable and would not be a suitable candidate to raise Beth. Puck corroborated Ms. Cochran's stories of their earlier visits and said he thought the teenage mother needed psychiatric help. She lost. The judge heard his words and extolled Puck for his maturity and rationality when deciding the fate of his daughter. The judge was so impressed that she granted visitation rights to the boy after determining it was in Beth's best interest to have the child remain with Shelby Cochran. Quinn was ordered to stay away from her baby and had to attend court-mandated therapy sessions. Based on the sessions, the judge would review the case to see if Quinn was fit to be in her daughter's life. The teen was incensed. How dare the judge allow an unscrupulous woman continued access to her child? Her emotions were building like a volcano ready to erupt.

"No, you can't do this. She's taking my baby away again!" Puck tried to usher her out of the courtroom calmly when she slapped him. Turning towards him with vehement anger clouding her judgment she poked a pointed finger to his chest, "I can't believe they let some Lima loser near my baby but not her mother. I'm her mother! She belongs to me! I'll make you pay for this; I'll make you both pay. Mark my words. You will all pay for this." Quinn's outburst in the courtroom did nothing to help plead her case. In fact it made the judge tack on more therapy sessions before another trial could be set. Trembling, she swiped the tears from her eyes and anxiously headed to her house, turning towards implementing plan B.

* * *

 

Sam woke up on Quinn's bathroom floor with a pained smile on his face and Mercedes' name on his needed to forget her—her smile, her face, her kisses, the indelible imprint she left on his heart. Whenever his heart ached for her, he went back to one of his favorite memories of them.

FLASHBACK

Evans' Residence

June 23, 2011

It was getting hotter and Sam's siblings were at camp. Mercedes had spent the night with the Evans and she and Sam decided they wanted to surprise his brother and sister with a gift when they got back. They were cuddled in his bed, Mercedes casually stroking Sam's hair while he lay on her stomach.

"Hey, Hulk?" Mercedes sat up and smiled at the whine Sam produced.

"Yes?" He sat up as well.

"Do you think the kids would like to make some ice cream?"

Sam snickered, which caused Mercedes to pluck him. "What was that for?"

"Why'd you laugh?"

"You said 'the kids' like we were married."

"You know what I meant. Besides, I wouldn't mind being married to you." She began to trail kisses along his jaw before giggling and planting a smacking kiss to his lips.

"Is that so?" He moved her to his lap as she straddled him.

"Yeah."

He began to remove her shirt and rub his hands on her exposed skin. He smiled when he heard her breath quicken. She squealed when he flipped her over so he was on top of her, his green eyes holding a lusty gaze. "You want to get started on making those kids?"

END OF FLASHBACK

Sam was growing reckless, drinking in the middle of the day while at work and at home in his room. He received multiple warnings but couldn't stop. His parents kicked him out on the same day he got fired. Soon he began to rely on and resent Quinn as he stayed with her. He began to recognize that Quinn represented everything he hated about himself.

"Come on, let's get this over with," he said as he stumbled into her room.

"Sam, you're drunk. This is crazy. Maybe you just need some water or something."

"No", he responded in a gruff voice. "I want you. Now."

Quinn was happy and a little nervous. This would mark her first time having sex since Beth was born, and she couldn't think of a better reason. Inwardly she mourned for the innocence she lost long ago and for a brief moment, she let it show on her face.

"Why are you acting so shy," he observed, "It's not like we haven't done this before."

She was flustered. There was nothing gentle in his eyes or loving in his approach but she still needed him, battered and broken as he was, to have her salvation. The path to Beth had been cut off and she needed another baby to feel normal again.

Without another word, Quinn quickly undressed and pulled him on top of her.

He wasn't thinking clearly, blurring between the memory of his last time with Mercedes and his present with Quinn. He envisioned Mercedes face as he plowed into Quinn, mistaking her eyes for deep sepia ones, her slight lips for plumper ones and her pale fingers for short chocolate ones. He released into the condom with Mercedes' name on his lips, pulling out and looking in horror as he noticed a tear in the prophylactic. He thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. They had to have been. He was brought down from his haze by Quinn's intense glare. Quinn was furious. She thought she hid all the condoms and distracted him enough that he would forget to put one on. When she saw he was sheathed, she realized this time was a waste. She couldn't afford mistakes. Everything had to go perfectly. The trial ended and the judge ruled in Ms. Cochran's favor. Quinn never thought Puck would betray her. She needed a baby and at this point if the damaged Sam Evans was unable or unwilling to provide, she could just try again with Puck. For the first time, she regretted involving Sam in her plan. In fact, she included the one person who threatened to destroy everything she worked for.

"Get off of me," she pushed his shoulders.

He complied without a word. As he headed to the bathroom to throw the evidence away, he looked down again and noticed there wasn't a tear after all. He surveyed again to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him. Relief washed over him when he realized the condom was indeed intact. He must have temporarily lost his mind. He sat in Quinn's bathroom just staring at the condom in the wastebasket. He quickly sobered up.

"Quinn, how much did I have to drink?"

"I don't know. You always have a drink in your hand. I'm sure you've drank every bottle within a five-mile radius. I'm amazed there's any left!"

"Not now Quinn," he said with a warning tone, "I meant that night, when we were first together, how much?"

Quinn didn't like his line of questioning. Where was he going with this? Maybe he wasn't as gullible as she thought and he was actually figuring things out? She smirked internally at the absurdity of her thought. "I don't know," she shrugged. "You were very upset."

He stepped closer to her, with alarms going off in his head as he remembered how he thought she was being deceitful that night. "I thought it was just beer, but it must have been stronger. What did you give me? No amount of alcohol will give someone the effects of what I felt that night."

"Don't blame me because you're an alcoholic. You need to fix yourself. You've become a liability and I won't carry your sloppy ass anymore."

Something inside him snapped. Sam was lost and he was going to continue to be lost if he kept letting Quinn influence him. Something was off about her and she wasn't being entirely truthful. She wasn't the sole reason his life was in shambles, but she did contribute to the downward spiral his life was headed in. She was an enabler and more than ever, he needed to rely on people he could trust. Sam wanted to go to Mercedes but what would that solve? He needed to get help. He alienated his family and was too ashamed to go back home. His problems were growing and he needed a space to fix them and time to heal himself.

That was the night he packed his bags. Sam called up his grandparents and asked if he could spend his senior year in Tennessee. Before he left he was determined to make amends with his parents and apologize to his siblings. He didn't want them to see him in his current state. He didn't want to see Stacy cower in fear when he was in a room or the look on his father's face when he kicked him out. Sam wanted his life back.

* * *

 

It was her birthday, but she was in no mood to celebrate. She just got news that turned her world upside down. She already knew what she had to do. They made a decision that would make her chained to Sam Evans for the rest of her life. One stupid mistake changed her whole life and erased her childhood at 17.

Mercedes tried to process how it happened. They were always careful. She was always careful. Just once they were as careless with their bodies as they were with their hearts. Soon she would have to make a decision. Soon she would have to tell her parents. Soon she would have to put someone else's needs above everything. Soon, but not now. Not Today. Today she was going to enjoy her birthday. She was going to enjoy the car her parents bought her and the gifts the Evans mailed her. She was going to go to dinner with Baz and forget about tomorrow. Today she was going to pretend she didn't know. Pretend that she wasn't scared and she could handle anything. She was definitely going to pretend she didn't need Sam. Resolving to put it out of her mind, she sighed deeply. Mercedes was so enthralled in her thoughts she failed to hear the knock at the door and the door open slowly.

Baz stood there smiling with a cupcake for his friend. "Happy birthday."

She looked up at Sebastian and smiled. "Thanks, Baz."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Make a wish." He held the cupcake in his hand waiting for her to blow the candle out.

Her eyes filled with tears and one tracked down her cheek as she closed her eyes and blew out her candle.


	12. Overdue Meetings

Mercedes' day of avoidance quickly turned into a week, then two weeks catapulted into two months. She knew she was being irresponsible, but her fear soon clouded her judgment, and she rationalized that it would be best if she carried this burden alone. Now nearing her fourth month of pregnancy, the only person who knew about the baby was Baz, who only found out because he heard her retching in the bathroom one morning. Baz constantly reprimanded her for her choice, "what you're doing is reckless and wrong, the longer you wait, the worse the situation is becoming. I know it's unplanned and unexpected, but you need to deal with it. Now!" She knew he was right and she couldn't afford the stress keeping her baby a secret was causing.

Informing her parents, friends and the Evans about her plans to visit, Mercedes anxiously packed for her journey home. Thankful her fall break was in a couple of days, she asked Baz if he had major assignments in his senior classes. She was going to need some support and knew asking Baz to accompany her on the trip would give her some security, no matter what Sam's and her parent's reactions were. Baz was more than happy to oblige. "Whatever the outcome, things are going to be better once you tell everyone. I promise."

I'm going to hold you to that, Baz." She was happy to have a friend in her corner.

Ever since she stepped off the plane, Mercedes clung to Baz for support. She was a bundle of nerves, but she knew it was past the time to tell Sam about the baby. This trip was going to end in one of two ways—being completely shunned by Sam and their family or being completely embraced. She was prepared for both outcomes.

After they got settled at the Jones', she wanted to calm her nerves by stopping by the Lima Bean and getting some green tea. Sitting in a booth in the back she ran and reran possible scenarios in her mind while she waited to meet Baz, who was dropping her off at the Evans.

"Mercedes Jones." She snapped her head up, diverting her attention from the magazine she was reading. Seeing who it was left a big smile plastered on her face.

"Mike!" She gave the boy an enthusiastic hug.

"What are you doing here? How's college life?"

She gestured for him to join her. She didn't realize how much she really missed her Glee friends. "I'm here on my fall break. I love college, it's great and my professors are so accomplished. I really love it. I'm sure you will next year." Mercedes noticed Mike shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "What's going on Mike?"

"I've decided to stop dancing."

"What! Mike, that's impossible. That's like me quitting breathing. It's a part of you, there's no possible way you can quit."

"I have to. Dancing is not my future. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm not going to disappoint my parents"

"But what about you? I've never seen someone so passionate about dancing. You  _love_  it, Mike. I just can't see you throwing that away to conform to your parent's wishes. What does Tina say about it?"

Mike chuckled. "Exactly the same thing you just said."

"See, you should listen to her. She's a smart woman."

"Yeah, Yeah she's great, just don't let her know I told you so. It's just hard you know, going against my parents. Disappointing them."

"Well if you ever need to talk, just call me."

"I'll take you up on it. Look, I know nobody talks about you and Sam because something crazy went down between you two, but the phone goes both ways. I mean it."

"Thanks, Mike. Just think about what I said okay? You're the most talented dancer I have ever seen. I'd hate for you to waste your gift."

He got up from the booth and gave his friend a hug. "I'll be calling you soon. There's so much crazy happening in Glee right now. Take care of yourself."

"You too, and take care of Tina."

Baz arrived a few minutes later to drive Mercedes to the Evans.

"Is that you Starshine? I sure missed seeing your beautiful face every day." He gave the girl a hug, furrowing his brow when he looked in her face again. He could tell something was wrong.

Mercedes returned his hug. "I missed you too Mr. Evans. Where is everyone? Is Sam here? I need to talk to him about something."

Dwight knew he would have to be the one to tell her about what happened to his son. "You still have a little time before you have to go to the airport, right? She nodded, confused as to why Mr. Evans didn't let her know Sam's whereabouts. "Why don't we take a walk around the neighborhood?" She nodded and they fell into step, Mercedes anxiously observing her surroundings and Dwight pensively trying to figure out how to tell her the news.

Breaking the comfortable silence, Mercedes spoke. "Congratulations on the new job. How's it going?"

"It's going well. How about you? How are your classes?"

"They're great, I really love college. How's Sam doing in his classes?"

Dwight cleared his throat. "Sam hit a rough patch but I think he'll be alright."

Mercedes stopped walking. Despite everything that occurred between the two, she really wanted him to be happy. "What happened with Sam? Is he okay?"

"He'll be okay. He was just depressed and got into some things he wasn't proud of," he said purposely glossing over the alcoholism and thoughts of suicide his son displayed. "He's staying with my parents in Tennessee right now."

This new information made Mercedes hesitate. How in the world was she going to tell the fragile boy he was going to be a father? Could he even handle it? All she knew was she wasn't going to tell anyone without telling Sam first. "Mr. Evans?"

"Yes?" He gingerly wiped the tears from her eyes.

She smiled. "Thanks for telling me. I know everyone has been asking what happened between the two of us, and no one mentions Sam when I call, but there's no need to handle me with kid gloves. I'm tougher than I look."

"I don't doubt it Starshine. You should know Sam told me about what happened between you two. I think you two need to really talk about everything in a safe place, and I'm never gonna tell you how you feel is right or wrong. If you want you can talk to me about it. Who knows? Maybe ya'll can work it out."

"That's something to think about Mr. Evans. I really miss you."

"I miss you too. Come on let's head back—I don't want you to be late for your flight."

She nodded and smiled at the elder Evans. "Please give your family my love and let them know I'm sorry I missed them."

"Will do."

Staying at his grandparents was giving Sam the opportunity to get back to what he used to be. He was riding horses again and tending to livestock. He hadn't touched alcohol since moving to Tennessee. Mostly, he loved listening to his grandparents' stories about enduring love. Sam could feel himself healing, but he also felt restless like there was something missing, but for some reason, he couldn't figure it out. Sam's only problem with being in Tennessee was missing his friends and family. He was thankful for his weekly family conversations. They always happened after the Jones/Evans Sunday dinners and he always got to speak with everyone. Looking at the time, he quickly located his phone so he could dial the house and speak to his family.

After the third ring, he was ready to leave a message until he heard his sister's jubilant voice. "Sam! I missed you."

"Hey Stace, I missed you too. Where is everyone?"

"They're outside playing football. I'll go get them."

Losing her train of thought, the little girl continued. "Guess what Sam?"

"What?"

"I got an A on my Spelling test and Ms. Davenport let me pick the movie of the week. I was gonna show it to Mercedes but she was busy talking to her friend about a baby."

"Wait... _What_? Stace, what are you talking about? When did you see Mercedes? What baby?"

"Oh here comes Mama. Bye Sam. Love you."

"Stace wait. Stace!" Trying in vain to get a little more information he growled in frustration when he heard his little sister call their mother over and have a brief conversation before handing the phone over.

"Hey baby. How are you? Are you minding your manners?"

Sam sighed. He couldn't concentrate on talking to his mom when Stacy just dropped a bomb about a baby. And what friend was she talking about anyway?

"I am Mama. Stacy said Mercedes was there with a friend? You know what she's talking about?"

"I'm sorry. I have no idea. I wasn't here when Mercedes came by. Apparently, she talked to your father and they went on a walk. He told me she was dropped off by one of her old friends from Houston."

"Sebastian?" Sam blanched. Everything in his being was telling him Mercedes' friend was trouble.

"I'm not sure. Look maybe Stacy was confused. You know your sister she talks a mile a minute, maybe she jumbled some things."

"Yeah. Mama, I'm a little behind on my homework and I need to catch up before tomorrow. I promise I'll call a little later." Sam could barely register what Stacy told him. His heart felt like it was beating outside of his chest.

"Okay baby. Say hi to your grandparents for me. Love you."

"Love you too."

When Sam hung up the phone, a flood of emotion overtook him. His mind was reeling from this new information, going back to a drunken stupor when he was laid out on the bathroom floor.

FLASHBACK

July 29, 2011

Evans Bathroom

He was slipping in and out of consciousness when he remembered a little boy with big curls, dark brown hair and his green eyes wiping the sweat off his face. The boy sat on the floor next to Sam. "Daddy get up," he said gently shaking the drunk man. "Get help. I need you. Mommy needs you."

Sam stared at the boy with a slack-jawed expression. ' _Did this little boy just call me daddy_?' "What's your name?"

"Gabe." The little boy scooted so that he was face to face with Sam and placed a kiss on his father's cheek. "I love you, daddy. Please get better." Sam watched as the boy left the bathroom and he kept rubbing his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating.

END OF FLASHBACK

That coupled with Stacy's news and the torn condom was all the confirmation he needed. Sam immediately knew what he had to do and set about putting his plan into motion.

Mercedes was smiling for the first time in days. She had it all mapped out. She was going to Tennessee to tell Sam about the baby this weekend. She was going by herself and had already spoken to Sam's grandparents about her arrangements. Mercedes was relieved to return to her old routine and planned to meet Baz back at her apartment for lunch since he had a half-day at school.

Opening the door and taking off her coat she yelled out into the apartment. "Baz, I went grocery shopping so we can make soup and sandwiches today."

"Hey Cedes," she heard him call out with her back turned to his voice. "We need to cancel lunch today." Whipping around to ask why she froze when she saw the reason. Sam was standing in her living room, arms folded, looking every bit as angry as she imagined he would.

"Mercedes. When were you planning on telling me about my baby?"

"Sam," she managed to choke out. "What are you doing here?" Mercedes watched as Baz gathered his things and placed a kiss on her cheek. He then whispered in her ear, "I let him in. Call me after he leaves." She nodded and helplessly watched her friend leave her alone with Sam.

Sam studied Mercedes' and Baz's interaction through clenched teeth. Returning his attention back to Mercedes after the boy left, he began. "I'm not going anywhere, no matter how much you hate me being here, you're stuck with me."

Mercedes scoffed. "Now you're deciding to not run away. Come on Sam! The only thing I'm certain I know about you is that when things get tough you run!"

"I could say the same thing about you! What have you been doing the past two months, hiding out and running away? Were you ever going to tell me?"

"I was! I tried to a million times, but every time I called home or spoke to your family, I was scared. I'm a coward okay, does that make you feel better?" Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she continued. "I finally worked up the nerve to tell you last weekend but you weren't there." She looked down at her shoes. "I didn't know you moved, you're a topic I don't discuss with your family." She sighed.

He wondered what she wasn't saying. "Yeah, I needed to get away. You could have told me. We're in this together, you know? Right now you and our baby are all that matter." He held her in his arms.

She stepped away from his touch. "I think what you mean to say is right now this baby is all that matters. Don't make this about us."

"Stop kidding yourself. It's always been about us!" His face was turning red and he ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

"You want to talk about us? Fine! Let's talk about us. I feel you. Whenever you ache my heart hearts. When you cry my eyes water. When you're near my heart beats faster. I can't fight my heart, but I am going to learn to control my feelings. I can't forgive you. It's too deep a hurt to recover quickly. I don't know if it ever will. I don't long to be with you anymore. I long for the strength to walk away from you. Anyway, we're not important. We don't matter anymore. This baby does." She took his hands and placed them on her stomach. "I understand if you don't want to have anything to do with the baby. I'm not asking you to. You're not obligated at all. I plan on keeping my baby and you can do whatever you want. You're off the hook."

He chuckled mirthlessly. "You have some nerve. Did you ever think about what I wanted? This is my baby too, and I meant what I said—I'm not going anywhere, so you can save your independent superwoman bullshit for someone who'll listen. I'm his father!" He took one hand and removed it from her stomach to cup her cheek. "I'm here, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you. I can't be sorry about that."

She wondered why he thought the baby was a boy, but right now it wasn't important. Mercedes rolled her eyes and pushed his hand from her cheek.

He wasn't deterred by her actions. "And on the topic of us, this isn't over darling, not by a long shot."

"Fine. You have all the answers, right? So tell me, what are we going to do?" She folded her arms across her chest defensively.

"We're going back to Lima to tell our family. Then we're going to sit down and make some decisions but first, you're going to sit down and I'm going to make you lunch."

Luckily, Sebastian was able to book two last-minute flights to Dayton which pleased Mercedes, to Sam's chagrin. He was thankful to the boy for being there for Mercedes but he was jealous of the way she came running to him for the solution to every problem. Sam had solutions too.

Sam watched as she clung to Baz for support. He was seething—this was their news, not hers and Baz's. They couldn't even tell their parents the life changing news without Baz hovering over her. In the long run, he realized Baz didn't matter. His girl was having his baby, and he was going to make sure nothing would separate them again. Sam was getting his family.

Mercedes cleared her throat and all eyes were on her. Feeling as if she were under a microscope she spoke, using a wavering voice. "Mom, Dad, Mr. and Mrs. Evans, Stevie, Stacy." She looked down and smiled as Baz squeezed her hand in reassurance. Sam looked at the gesture between the friends and saw the worry on her face. He decided to help so he blurted out, "Mercedes and I are having a baby...Mercedes is pregnant" as the room fell into deafening silence.

Mercedes glared at Sam before they both winced, hearing a collective "What!" from their family.


	13. Family Meetings

The tension in the room was thick and palpable. The teens stood in the middle of the room like statues rooted to the floor, letting the immensity of the moment wash over them. Mercedes gaped at Sam, shocked that he let the admission out of his mouth without forethought. He was usually so careful with his words; it was just another way he let her down. Mercedes hand instinctively held Sebastian's tighter, aching for some kind of comfort. The teens flinched when they were met with the icy glare of one Dwight Evans. "What do you mean you and Mercedes are pregnant? You can't be pregnant. If this is a joke it isn't funny. Explain yourself boy."

Mercedes looked over at Sam and watched as he gulped at his father's intimidating tone. "He means I'm pregnant and I'm going to have a baby." Mercedes willed Sam to keep his mouth shut.

" _We're_  going to have a baby," Sam corrected, finally knocked out of his haze. He looked at Mercedes in disbelief, hurt evident in his eyes.

Mary looked at her youngest children and ushered them to play outside in the Jones' backyard while the adults spoke to Sam and Mercedes. Disappointment and anger were just the tip of the iceberg of emotions swirling in her head.

Sam grimaced as his eyes stayed fixated on Sebastian and Mercedes' hands. He barely acknowledged the boy's presence. "You should go too. This doesn't concern you."

Sebastian snapped his head in Sam's direction. "Mercedes is my friend and she asked me to be here. If it concerns her, it concerns me." He was ready to fight to look after his friend.

Judging by Sam's clenched fist and Sebastian's tensed mouth Mercedes knew the situation was about to escalate, so she wordlessly motioned to the door and nodded while Baz furrowed his brows. He then kissed her cheek and she hugged him as he joined Stacy and Stevie in the backyard. She chanced a look at Sam and their eyes met. Surveying his reddened face, she saw anger marring his features.

Carl's booming voice cut through the silence that fell. "You're going to have a baby? When you're both babies yourselves? You just displayed why you two aren't ready to be parents." Mercedes had never found the floor so interesting in her life.

Sam stood, defiant, speaking clearly and with confidence he pretended to have. "I know you must be disappointed in us, and believe me we are disappointed in ourselves, but we plan on keeping the baby and raising him together."

Finding her voice, Mercedes spoke "We understand what we've chosen to do is hard, and we are prepared for the fallout." It felt nice to be on the same page with Sam, even if the moment was fleeting.

Dwight was incensed. He always warned Sam to protect Mercedes, now their carelessness produced a child. How could they not understand that their lives, as they knew them, were over? Their childhoods were gone? "First of all," he pointed to Sam, "you're going to therapy. I don't ever want my grandchild to be afraid of his father like Stacy was of her brother. In fact, I think we may all need therapy before this is over." Dwight remained silent, with his blood boiling, in his chair.

"Good point Dwight," Carl agreed picking up the ball. "And my grandchild is not going to be raised by a couple of dropouts. You're staying in school!" Carl pointed at Mercedes as she nodded in compliance.

"You are too Sam. You're moving back and re-enrolling in McKinley." Mary was going to make sure Sam wasn't a high school dropout on top of being a teenage parent. She needed him close to keep a better eye on him.

Sam was nervous about the prospect of moving back to Lima. He found his peace and sanity in Tennessee. How would his sobriety hold up with the ghosts that haunted him in Lima? Looking at his mom, he realized her statement wasn't a request and he would have to get over his reservations. He begrudgingly muttered a "yes ma'am" at his mother's order.

"And Mercedes," Audrey tag-teamed, "you're finishing out this semester in Houston and taking the next semester off. I'm staying with you and we're coming back home together at the end." Audrey was going to forgo charity functions to help Mercedes prepare for her baby. It occurred to her this might be one of the last times Mercedes needed her. Audrey rubbed her hand over her face in exasperation. "How long have you known? Have you even been to the doctor's?"

"Sam found out a few days ago and I've known for a couple of months. I've been taking vitamins and I went to the doctor's when I first found out."

Audrey let out a strangled gasp. "And you thought that would be enough? It's not just about you anymore Mercedes; you're risking my grandchild  _and_  yourself. That's not what responsible people do."

Carl scoffed. "This whole thing is irresponsible, and I know we raised you both better than this," Carl spoke again. "These houses are big enough to have rooms for the both of you when you need to stay over—in separate rooms. Not that it matters now anyway." Audrey rolled her eyes at the last part Carl swore he mumbled.

"We have obviously let this go on too long. You two are going to fix your shit and you're going to fix it now. You're not sucking my grandbaby into your drama." Mercedes was shocked to hear her mother, the queen of propriety, curse.

Mary fixed her son with a steely gaze. "We will create a schedule of doctor's appointments and Lamaze classes that everyone can access and you will be at every one. Is that clear?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"And don't expect us to help you or bail you out. You've made an adult choice and you will face adult consequences. Like it or not you will do this together. Is that understood?" Carl shifted his eyes as he waited for confirmation the teens were clear about what was said. The four stood collectively and headed to the backyard, leaving Sam and Mercedes alone.

* * *

 

Mercedes sat down and took a deep breath. The talk with her parents and the Evans weighing heavy on her mind. She knew this was just the beginning and the conversation opened up the floodgates. They were right—how could she properly care for someone when she barely had to care for herself? Her childhood, despite its loneliness, was indulgent. She had no idea what it was like to need anything material, and that was solely on the strength of her parents' and grandparents' financial security. What kind of life could a17-year-oldd provide for her baby?

Sam kneeled in front of her taking hold of her clasped hands. "Hey. I know you can't see it now, but it's all going to be okay. You're going to be a great mother." Mercedes looked at his hands over hers before jerking them apart. "You don't know that Sam. This isn't a situation where you can say something to make it better. This is real, it's our life, and it's a mess." She went to stand, but he gently coaxed her back in the seat.

"Where are you trying to go?"

"To find Baz."

"No you're not!"

She stood again, boldly meeting his gaze. "You don't get to tell me what to do. We can talk about all of this tomorrow. Right now I need my friend."

"No, right now you need to talk to me and we need to figure this out. Together. Nobody's going anywhere."

She huffed. Knowing he was right but not wanting to admit defeat, she stubbornly crossed her arms. "You want us to talk? Talk!"

"All this hostility has to stop. You said we don't matter right? That we should focus on the baby? Then stop pushing me away. We don't have time to waste. What are we going to do? Where are we going to live?"

"You're right. You don't want to be here and I don't want you here. Let's just get this over with. I'm going back to Houston, you're going to Tennessee. I'm going to find a doctor there and when I get back to Lima I'm going to find an OB/GYN. I'll let you know when the appointments are and if you can make it, you'll be there."

"I'm going to be there Mercedes."

"Right, you're going to be there and I'll call you if anything comes up."

"Wrong. I'll call you every day, and I'm coming to Houston every weekend until you're back in Lima. I'll talk to my teachers and counselor and work out a schedule because I'm not missing a moment of this."

"That's crazy Sam. How are you going to afford flying out to Houston every weekend?"

"Don't care." He shrugged. "I'll figure out a way. I need to be near you and the baby. Like it or not, we're family now Jellybean."

"That's going to affect school. Promise that you won't do anything that'll make you graduate late?" She leaned forward and pressed her forehead to his.

Sam was pleasantly surprised by the action, he missed her touch. "I promise."

"Sorry I haven't been leaning on you or letting you in. I'm afraid you'll leave me alone with this baby so I'm preparing to do everything myself."

"I'll keep saying it until you hear me, I'm not going anywhere."

Clearing her throat and removing her forehead from his, she continued. "And when we get back to Lima, I'm staying at home until the baby is born. Those two rooms next to mine are empty. You can stay in one of them."

"We'll stay there until you have to go back to school and I'll apply to colleges in the area. After I graduate, I can work a few jobs to save up money so I can get an apartment close to yours."

"My grandmother left me a trust and a portion will be active when I turn 18. That leaves 5 months between when the baby is born to when I go back to Houston to start school full time. I still have a large amount of savings I withdrew earlier." She tensed at the summer memory of finding Sam with Quinn and running to Houston with a large chunk of her savings. "That money should help for a little while."

"And I'm going to pull my weight. I don't care if I need to work three jobs, I'll make sure this baby has everything he needs." He placed a hand on her stomach.

"You're not going to work yourself to death.  _We'll_  make sure this baby has everything it needs." She placed her hand on top of his and slowly stroked his knuckles with her thumb. Realizing she may be going too far, she dropped her hand. Being this close to him was making her body betray her, falling back to what it naturally does whenever he was around. She needed to focus and regain her strength. Mercedes needed to get over it, get over him—quickly, for the baby's sake.

Sam was elated. It seemed like she was finally letting him in and her touch ignited fires in his spirit. Maybe he could have them both—his baby and his girl sooner than he thought.

"Sam?" Her voice was soft, fragile.

"Yeah?" He looked up at her in askance after she pulled away from him.

"Why do you think the baby's a boy?"

He looked up at her and smiled. "I just  _know._ Do you have any names in mind?"

"We have a while before thinking about baby names. Why? Do you have some you like?"

"Yeah. Can we name him Gabriel? He needs to be named Gabriel."

She repeated the name a few times before nodding her approval. "I like it. We can call him Gabe for short." She smiled at the prospect of holding her baby. "I'll probably have my sonogram in a few more weeks and they'll tell us whether it's a girl or boy."

"Trust me, it's a boy."

"Okay," she stood abruptly. "I'm going to do some research on doctors in Houston. I'll let you know what I find."

"He stood slowly and hugged her. I'll call you tonight. If you need anything call me. If you just want to talk, call me."

She nodded. "Thanks, Sam."

"I'm here. Always"

Baz watched from the backyard as Sam and Mercedes talked intimately. He honestly thought Sam would hurt her again and she deserved better than more heartache. The boy was a wreck and Sebastian was going to make sure Mercedes was unscathed. In fact, he was going to do everything in his power to make sure Sam never hurt Mercedes again.

* * *

 

Sam stood anxiously outside of Mercedes exam room in Houston. He didn't receive the message that her appointment had been moved two hours earlier and wouldn't have known about it at all if his mother didn't call 15 minutes ago asking how everything went. They were finally building towards something, not only for the baby but for themselves and now thanks to a message he never received, he knew they would be back at square one. He wanted to be there for everything and now he felt he failed his son.

He paced, waiting for Mercedes to get dressed, trying to figure out what to say to her that would make it better. When she opened the door and saw him about to explain she held her hand up gesturing for him to stop before he started. "Sam, I don't want to hear it."

"I didn't get the message. I promise I would have been here."

"That message was sent to everyone! Why are you the only one who didn't get it? Where were you?"

"I swear I didn't get it."

"I asked Baz to send it out to everyone and you mean to tell me you just didn't happen to get the message?" She took a deep breath to suppress her anger. "I should be used to you breaking promises." He took a step towards her and she stepped further back.

"It's fine, I didn't need you here. Baz was here for me."

Sebastian walked up from the receptionist's desk holding Mercedes' appointment card. When he saw Sam, he gave the boy a devious smirk. "Glad you could finally make it man." He glanced down at his watch dramatically. "You're only about two hours too late."

"I didn't get the message you sent to everyone,  _man"_ Sam retorted. "I'm sure that wasn't an accident."

Baz whispered in her ear, loud enough for Sam to hear "you look a little stressed." Sam recoiled when he saw the tears about to escape her eyes as Baz continued. "Why don't we grab some lunch?" Mercedes smiled in gratitude and turned her back to Sam but not before shoving the sonogram picture towards Sam's chest and walking out of the office, with Baz's hand on her back.

"This little game you're playing is going to blow up in your face. I'm not going anywhere Mercedes." Sam held the picture in his hands in awe of how perfect his little boy already was. He was amazed that his love for Mercedes helped to create this beautiful being and he couldn't wait to spend every day with his family. They were his family and he was prepared to defend them against anything. Sam was beginning to run after them when someone stopped him in his tracks.

A nurse saw the exchange and hedged off the angry boy before he made a scene. "Hi, Sam? I'm nurse Winthrop, your girlfriend's nurse." She had her doubts about Sebastian's intentions when she saw him hovering around an obviously upset and hormonal Mercedes. She handed Sam an appointment card. "I spoke to her for a while before the ultrasound; she's a little hurt you couldn't be here, but she's going to realize who's really there for her. In the meantime, how about you write down your number and I'll call you directly when she has an appointment."

Sam looked at the nurse, touched by her kindness. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it," she said with a smile. "Good luck kid. I'm rooting for you."

Sam returned her smile. He was thankful to have her on his side and with Baz threatening to destroy his family, he was going to need all the reinforcements he could get.

"Don't worry Gabe," he said staring down at the picture of his baby. "Daddy will fix this."

* * *

 

Sam was teetering on the edge. After missing the doctor's appointment, Sam's relationship with Mercedes was strained at best. They built a tenuous friendship that was slowly coming apart at the seams. When he called to check on her, she answered in one- word responses. He was secretly grateful his first session was today. He needed a sounding board, an impartial third party that he could give him advice and help him see things from a different perspective.

"Please sit down Sam. I'd like to hear more about you. Why don't we start with why you think you are here?"

Sam shifted in the seat nervously and cleared his throat. "Well, my parents made me come here because I had a bit of a drinking problem, and they didn't want me to relapse since I'll be a father soon but I've been sober for two months now."

"That's very admirable Sam, congratulations. A father at 17? That must be stressful." She was scribbling feverishly on her notepad. "May I ask when you think this became a problem?"

"I used to drink a little at parties, but when I found Mercedes kissing Puck my world was over."

Mercedes was my girlfriend, at the time," he explained. "I ran into my ex-girlfriend and she helped me." He began to wring his wrists as he spoke about the night he slept with Quinn. "After Mercedes found out, I just wanted to forget all that we were to each other, so I began drinking more and more. I just wanted to feel better."

"I need you to listen to me and listen carefully: you are to blame for your alcoholism. No one drove you to it. It was a conscious decision to self-medicate and self-destruct and mask the deeper issues you had. You allowed it to become an addiction and you took the necessary steps to heal yourself. Congratulations, what you did was commendable."

"Thanks." He let her words seep in his mind. Was he unconsciously blaming Mercedes for his alcoholism? Was he really using alcohol to deflect and mask a larger issue?

"You are here so we could get to the root of these destructive behaviors and find viable coping alternatives. These issues did not spring forth overnight. I am going to be asking you a lot of questions to try and get to the root of your alcoholism. If at any point you get uncomfortable answering a question, you can say 'pass' and we'll move on to the next. If you begin to feel overwhelmed please let me know and we'll proceed to your comfort level."

Sam nodded his understanding.

"What do you hope to get out of these sessions?"

"Before I went to Tennessee I did some things." He looked down at the floor. "Things I am ashamed of. Things that I don't think I would have done if I wasn't trying to chase the feeling I got when I drank at Quinn's. My siblings were afraid of me. My little brother would run up to his room and lock the door. My sister cried when she saw who I had become. My parents were so disappointed in my behavior they couldn't look at me. I was such a danger that they kicked me out. I never want that to happen again. It can't happen again. When the craziest most unhinged person I know told me to get my act together, I knew I had to sober up." Sam hadn't realized how much he lost when his relationship with Mercedes disintegrated. She was the person he trusted with his innermost feelings and without her Sam bottled up his emotions, turning to alcohol for this catharsis.

"These sessions will always be built on honesty. This is a safe place, and I will always give you my honest assessment. I expect the same from you. Frankly, I have seen insecurity, fanaticism to the point of single-minded devotion, stubbornness and obsessive traits in you but I have also seen compassion, kindheartedness, devotion and loyalty. I don't think your problem is with alcohol. I think you used alcohol to escape, but I think your insecurities are at the root of the bad decisions you made. If we can work on building some self-assurance it will help you grow as a father and a man."

Sam thought about what she said. He had definitely let his insecurities ruin his relationships with Quinn, Santana and Mercedes.

"Have you had the urge to drink again? What happened that made you want to drink?"

"I was trying to recreate the feeling I felt when I drank the beers at Quinn's—I blacked out, I felt so heavy but weightless at the same time and I was so dizzy."

Alarmed by his admission, his psychiatrist prodded for more information. "Can you tell me what you meant by that?"

"I mean I felt like I wasn't in control of my body. Like I didn't have to worry, like the alcohol could make me forget everything."

"Did someone give you the beer or did you get it yourself?"

"Quinn gave it to me."

"Was it already open when she did?"

Sam nodded, confused by her line of questioning. She sounded more like a police officer interrogating a witness than a psychiatrist. "Why are you asking me all these questions?"

"Because Sam, the effects you felt couldn't have been from a few beers. It sounds like you were drugged."


	14. Homecoming

_Falling leaves always return to their roots_

_-Chinese Proverb_

_December 19, 2011_

Sam spent the better part of two months in isolation. When he returned to McKinley his friends were dismayed when they learned he would not rejoin Glee. He studiously avoided Puck and Quinn who luckily he had no classes with, and he spent the weekends with Mercedes in Houston. Thursday nights were spent with his psychiatrist where he learned his addiction to alcohol stemmed from him trying to get the same effects he had when Quinn drugged him. Sam was livid at his psychiatrist's realization. How could Quinn be so malicious? How could he let her? His was angry at how gullible he acted. Even with his doubts, he still believed the manipulative girl until his psychiatrist confirmed his suspicions.

After that first visit, Sam spent a week researching drugs and comparing the effects he had to the effects the drug caused. He narrowed the list down to two possibilities, both sexual assault drugs. The first was GHB, which produced the same effects he felt that night, but it was a powder substance and he would have tasted the difference. The second, one GBL, was very similar to GHB but was colorless and tasteless. The reaction time was faster and the effects wore off quicker than with GHB. What alarmed him was when he read articles of people dying from the drug after taking it once. He read countless date rape survivor stories of the victims saying they "blacked out" and "couldn't remember what happened". He shook when he read of the dizziness and lethargy associated with the drug. Sam was going to make sure Quinn paid dearly for her actions, he just had to be methodical about it. Observing Quinn in silence, he knew that the girl was getting ready to crack. He just had to wait her out and he was sure she would tell on herself. Quinn was clingy and desperate. Every time he saw her, she was trying to get closer to Puck. Sam surmised she must not have gotten that baby yet, and she must not have Beth either. He smirked inwardly at her small bout of comeuppance but knew that wasn't enough—not for all she did. Mostly, he worked hard to maintain a detached demeanor, feeling he had to hold on to this information until she revealed herself. He didn't tell Mercedes yet because all of his evidence was circumstantial and his girl had enough stress with finals approaching and her impending move back to Lima. He wouldn't add unnecessary stress until he had solid evidence.

Sam was thankful his father demanded he see a psychiatrist, although his stubbornness prevented him from telling his father so. He was able to unlock the reasons for his actions and emotions. He learned of his tendency to jump to conclusions and vowed to be more patient. He was reminded of how his possessiveness cost him everything and was warned against repeating the same mistake with Sebastian. He was calmer, more understanding and ready to fix his faults. Sam was also able to assert his positive qualities and work on his insecurities. He felt that if by some insane stroke of luck he reconciled with Mercedes, they would be a stronger, more balanced couple. Sam's visits gave him an inner peace and sense of self-worth that was severely lacking from his life.

He spent the rest of his time with his family and the Jones' gearing up for Mercedes' return and the baby's arrival. She would be back in a few hours, and Sam couldn't help the nerves her imminent arrival caused. Despite their awkward tension, Sam was happy they would be in the same city together where he could keep a watchful eye on her and the baby, where Sebastian was neither welcome nor needed.

Mercedes stepped towards her family's home and a tidal wave of emotions passed through her. The last time she was in this place, her heart was broken and she vowed to never return. That was a mere four months ago. Now she was nearing her door she couldn't exorcize the feeling of failure that rose within. Mercedes went from independent golden child starting college early to needy teenage mom. She never imagined her life would turn out this way, but she was secretly thankful for her unexpected turn of events. It took an unplanned pregnancy to bond with her mother and reconnect with her old friend. She was antsy to begin this new phase of her life.

Mercedes knew there was something her mom was just dying to get off her chest and it came to no surprise that as soon as she dropped her last bag in the foyer and closed the door, her mom spun around and approached.

"Now that we're home, we need to get a few things straight. I sat in silence and let you attach yourself to Sebastian because it wasn't my place to say anything while I was under your roof. I was a guest in your home, but now that you're in my house, we will be doing things a little differently. I don't  _ever_  want to see you involving anyone else but Sam on decisions regarding your baby. I know you don't mean to, but you punishing him is immature and counterproductive. Dwight told me what happened and I know Sam hurt you but for the sake of that baby, you need to get over it. I'm not telling you to jump into his arms, but I am warning you to treat Sam with the respect the father of your child deserves. You're blessed enough to not have to go through this alone, don't you dare isolate that boy when he only wants to be a part of his child's life."

Mercedes nodded as her mother grabbed one of her many bags and walked it up to her room.

Mercedes shrank, thoroughly scalded by her wise mother. She couldn't defend her actions and she didn't want to. She was ashamed she let things get this far, especially after promising Sam they were in this together. Perhaps being in the same city would bring the once best friends closer. She needed to rebuild their friendship for Gabe's sake and she wasn't going to hide behind Baz. Chiefly, she needed to apologize for her behavior and truly work on getting over Sam's betrayal.

When she trekked into her room upstairs she saw the room next to hers was already filled with Sam's belongings. She knew he would still be in school when she arrived and needed the time to prepare herself. Slowly stepping into the opened room, she smiled when she saw the sonogram picture framed by the nightstand. She regarded the picture, tenderly touching the corners of the frame, staring at the precious creature the picture contained. "We're going to make this right, I promise." After staring for a spell, she returned to her room and started unpacking.

She earnestly waited for Sam to return, but her eyes were heavy and her back ached slightly. Soon, she was asleep but woke up when she saw a figure looming in her doorway. Mercedes regarded Sam silently as he placed a cup of green tea by her bedside. He sat next to her and stared at the walls, worried his words would come out unfiltered. He wanted her to let him in, confide her innermost feelings and trust him with them. He knew he didn't deserve to know but he needed to help. Having learned from his sessions it was easier for him to be angry or pursue her than to admit guilt for his actions, he tried to be patient and understanding hoping he could show her just how sorry he was. Finally breaking the silence, she spoke. "I'm sorry."

He turned his head in her direction quizzically. "For what?"

Chuckling mirthlessly, she said, "everything" while wiping a falling tear from her eye. "I was unfair to you and you didn't deserve to be shut out."

"It's okay," he grinned, gently handing her the mug.

"Thanks." Quickly changing subjects she asked, "Are you nervous about tomorrow?"

"The parenting class? Nah." He waved his hand indifferently.

After she placed the mug back on the nightstand he grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"We're going to be okay."

Looking into his eyes, she squeezed his back. "I know."

_December 20, 2011_

Mercedes sat in the kitchen with piles of books, highlighters and flags spread out across the table. Sam chuckled as he entered the kitchen, amused at the sight before him. "What are you doing, Jellybean?"

She looked up at him sheepishly. Even she could admit she looked crazy at the moment. "Studying."

"You're studying for parenting class." He couldn't hide the smile on his face.

"Oh shut up. I'm trying to be prepared."

"Don't worry. You're going to be a great mom."

She smiled at him and the gesture radiated his spirit. "Thanks, Sam. You're going to be a great dad."

They arrived at the hospital 20 minutes early, at Mercedes' behest, and were the first ones in the room. They saw the posters charting the baby's progress by week and an elaborate and detailed diagram of the female reproductive system. Scanning the area, they saw thousands of tapes on childbirth strewn about the room. There was a diagram on how to perform CPR on a baby and there were piles of dummy newborns on a table. The mats, which were in the designated Lamaze station were colorful and big. Everywhere she looked, Mercedes was inundated with information and preparation details. It was slightly overwhelming. Sam sensed her distress and strode up to her holding her hand. She leaned forward and whispered in his ear "thanks for being here with me." He replied, "There's no other place I would be."

As other couples filed in, Mercedes noted she and Sam were the youngest in the class. Everyone took a seat as the instructor arrived. The instructor was a licensed doula and child-care professional who briefly went over the class structure. It put Mercedes at ease to know the particulars going in and Sam saw her visibly relax. Before they began, the instructor said, "I want everyone to turn to the person they're with. This is your support system. You will rely and depend on each other to make this process easier. Leaning on each other and learning from each other will enrich the bond you have with your child." Sam and Mercedes' eyes met and they smiled at each other. The group began at the Lamaze station going over the signs and stages of labor. Sam listened in fascination as the instructor went on about dilation and positioning for labor and birth. By the end, Mercedes was happy to be practicing breathing exercises.

When the session switched to the parenting portion, Mercedes was ready to apply all that she read in her books, she was a pro during the CPR session. Sam was a natural and was even helping other couples change their dolls' diapers. The instructor praised Mercedes for her 'nurturing nature' and Sam for his even-temperedness, explaining that the duo would be great parents. They let with some new friends and resources and Mercedes left calmer and more assured.

The day erased all the doubts she had about their relationship affecting their parenting. No matter what they were to each other, their most salient role was  _parent_. No lingering feelings or past hurt mattered as they ventured on this journey together. She was thankful Sam was there to help shoulder the responsibility and couldn't imagine having a better partner. As the week progressed, their interactions were less forced and more amicable. The tension was alleviated as the duo put Gabe's best interests first.

_December 23,2011_

Sam sat on Mike's sofa trembling, staring at the drink he was given. He was sober for four months, but his earlier confrontation threatened all the progress he had made. Sam, who could barely focus on anything but putting one foot in front of the other, would be responsible for this whole other life in a few months. He felt immense pressure to be like his father, inwardly knowing he could never measure up. What kind of example could he be to his own child if he could barely make it through an argument without the threat of relapsing? His mind traveled back to earlier in the day when he confronted Baz and why he was now sitting with a drink in his hand.

FLASHBACK

Jones' Residence

Earlier Today

After seeing the text from Mercedes that she was at the store doing some last minute Christmas shopping, he decided to shower and get ready for Mike's party. He didn't really want to go, but Mike was the only Glee clubber that actively reached out to him and tried to restore a friendship when he came back. He was a good guy and Sam owed it to him. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Mercedes door open and a nuisance sitting on her bed.

"Why are you here?"

Sebastian shrugged. "Winter break."

"Listen up because I'm only going to say this once. This is my baby. This is my family. Stay away. I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work."

Sebastian stood and slow clapped sarcastically. "Wow, you're stupid. It  _has_  been working and do you know why? Because you will always run away when she does something that isn't perfect and I will always be here waiting with open arms."

Sam couldn't stop his face from reddening or his fist from clenching. He also couldn't stop said fist from making contact with Sebastian's jaw. Apparently, he still needed psychiatric advice because one look at Sebastian and he regressed.

Licking the blood on the side of his mouth, Sebastian laughed sinisterly as he assessed the angry boy in front of him. "Afraid of the truth? Honestly, I don't have to do anything to make Mercedes mine. You'll screw up soon enough—it's who you are. It's all you know how to do and I will be there waiting with a shoulder to cry on showing her a better alternative just like I did before. What can you offer her, what have you offered, that didn't end in heartache and regret? I think I'll stand on the sidelines and watch you self-destruct."

Sam was fuming. He wanted to hurt this boy mainly because he knew Sebastian was right. He wanted to wipe the smarmy grin off his face, but he knew Sebastian would run to Mercedes and he would lose her all over again. He wouldn't fight with his fists anymore, but he was sure to fight with his words.

"How does it feel Sebastian, to be so wrapped in a girl who only has eyes for someone else?"

"Shut up, you don't know what you're talking about!"

Sam stood closer to the trembling boy. "Oh I think I do. I feel sorry for you. You have to resort to manipulation to get what I got freely. In fact, I don't think you ever got close to what I got."

Sam ducked when Sebastian lunged at him holding him to the ground. "Did I strike a nerve  _Baz_?"

Sebastian struggled to stand and pointed at Sam. "You're going to be sorry you said that". He hastily retreated from Mercedes' room, opting to leave her a text of his whereabouts instead.

END OF FLASHBACK

Would he always run to alcohol when things got too rough? He watched as the alcohol sloshed around the cup and his mouth began to water. More than anything he wanted to lift the cup and drink the honey that was in his hands. Sam needed it. He was powerless against it. He went to call his psychiatrist, but he thought better of it. Sam could beat this. He'd already proven he was stronger than his addiction. Almost downing the drink his mind traveled to his last fall off the wagon and the thing that brought him back from the brink of disaster. Laying on his bathroom floor after throwing up a third time, Sam closed his eyes and let the poison course through his system. Seeing his son, hearing Quinn's words, lifted him to sobriety. More than anything he wanted to meet his boy and no amount of alcohol was going to keep him from his son. He held the poison in his trembling hand, contemplating whether or not he would lose himself to its seduction, when a loud argument pulled him out of his near destruction.

He saw Quinn smile sweetly at Puck. "I need to see my daughter."

Puck learned to distance himself from her crazy. The last time he tried to help her, Quinn slapped him in the face. "The judge deemed you unfit. Go deal with it and stop hating the world for your mistakes."

Sam's ears perked up when he listened in on the argument. Instinctively, he grabbed his phone and found the voice recorder app. Since Quinn was the type to strike back when cornered, he waited for the fireworks hoping she would slip up and he could gather some evidence against her.

Quinn shook with rage. "How dare you call me unfit! You have no idea what I've done for my baby. Do you know how it feels to have to drug a buffoon into pretending to sleep with you only to have him turn into a waste of space? Do you know what it's like to carry him when his parents kick him out, having to be compassionate when all he does is whine and drink or cry about Mercedes? Have him finally sleep with you, only to find out the hick was wearing a condom? All I wanted from him was a baby and he couldn't do that right! Looking over her shoulders she locked eyes with Sam. "Did you hear that, you stupid piece of shit? You're worthless."

The party quieted as a collective gasp was heard throughout the room. Puck turned to her, shocked she actually went that far. "What the hell is wrong with you? You need serious help—you're crazy! I'll make sure you never come near my child." She reached back to slap Puck but he caught her hand before she could make contact and jerked it to her side. Finally coming out of her fit of blind rage, she frantically scanned the disgusted and surprised looks of the partygoers, realizing she just told everyone her twisted plan. She looked at Sam in puzzlement when she saw the smirk on his face and paled when she heard his phone say "recording completed and saved."

Sam stood and stared back just as intently. "Gotcha."


	15. The Fallout

Quinn should have been more careful. She blurted out her secrets virtually confessing to sexual assault and a host of misdemeanors, effectively pulling Beth further away from her birth mother. She was too shocked to notice all the eyes on her. She felt doomed—like she had truly lost everything. Every action seemed to happen in slow motion and her mind was reeling about possible consequences. Sadly, the unhinged girl never acknowledged any wrongdoing. She honestly thought anything done to get her daughter back was legal and moral. Now she knew she crossed some indelible lines she regretting crossing and as a result, truly lost Beth.

After her confession, the night's events blurred in her mind to a point where she thought they were imagined. She watched Sam stalk over to her and her heartbeat increased when he hoarsely whispered, "I suggest you get a lawyer. You're going to need one," in her ear. The crowd followed his form as he walked out of the house and turned their attention to Quinn. Quinn stood shocked and held her face after an irate Tina punched her in the nose. Tears welled in her eyes and blood gushed down her face as Mike rushed over to grab his girlfriend before she could punch Quinn again. Quinn ran out of Mike's house, knowing if she stayed it would only get worse.

Sam sat in his car after leaving Mike's house. He needed to compose himself before he shared this recording with Mercedes. First, he sent it to Detective Barnes, who he spoke to about his suspicions of being drugged and was told to "come back when you have solid evidence." Sam might as well have given the detective a signed confession. Like a ton of bricks, he realized what happened. His impulsiveness cost him Mercedes and Quinn's manipulations drove them further apart. If he had followed his gut, he wouldn't be in this predicament. Knowing for a long time something wasn't adding up and failing to press the issue drove Mercedes to Houston, into Sebastian's waiting arms.  _Shit_ , he forgot about Sebastian. Surely the boy would use this new information to try and worm his way into Mercedes' heart. All he wanted, all he ever wanted is for Mercedes to trust him with her heart again. Revealing Quinn's confession could make or break their romantic future. He hoped she could forgive him for sleeping with Quinn while he was drunk. Would he hold lesser value in her eyes once she found out? Sam learned from therapy that he could live without her, but he didn't want to. He could survive not having her; it would just make his world darker and purposeless. Sam was going to hold onto her with all his might. Mercedes wasn't going to leave him again if he could help it. He went over some stress exercises his psychiatrist taught him on the way to talk to Mercedes knowing this would either change everything for the better or make everything worse.

He watched her sleep as he had done countless times before. The way her lips slightly pursed and her lashes hit her cheek made her look like a doll. She was his perfection, the one who could see past his flaws and into his soul. He drew serenity from watching her and his eyes welled when he saw her hand on her stomach. She was everything and he would never stop trying to get her back. All the Quinns and Sebastians of the world couldn't drive them apart, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't worried about how she would react. He saw her stir in her sleep and smirked. Everything Mercedes did was adorable.

"Sam?"

He took that as his cue to enter her room.

"Yeah?"

"How long were you staring at me?" She slowly sat up.

Sam chuckled. He'd been caught. "Not long. I need to talk to you about something and it can't wait because I need you to hear it from me."

"Okay," she said warily.

Sam pulled out his phone, desperately trying to ignore the slight tremble of his hands.

"You need to hear this. I want you to know I would never keep anything from you, and I don't want to put pressure on you but I love you and I want you to be mine."

"Sam, we agreed to focus on the baby." For some reason, his words scared her. This discussion seemed grave, relationship changing.

"Listen." Taking a deep breath and ignoring his erratic heartbeat he pressed play and increased the volume on his phone. Soon her room was filled with the sounds on the recording and every word that filled the space sounded foreboding. Her emotions played on her face and Sam helplessly watched as she silently told him how she felt. Her brow furrowed in confusion when he pushed play. Her mouth fixed in a snarl when she heard Quinn's voice. Her eyes widened in surprise and watered in sorrow once she heard Quinn's confession and her fists balled in anger once she heard Quinn insult Sam. Finally, he watched as she closed her eyes and placed both hands on her chest. He knew they weren't going to be alright.

For a pregnant lady, Mercedes moved fast. She leaped out of her bed, creating space between them. Being close to Sam was making her stomach churn. "How could you? How could you sleep with her?"

Sam jumped off the bed and made his way to her. He slowed his actions once he saw her shake her head. It pained him to back away but he granted her wish for space. "I didn't know. Trust me, I didn't know. She drugged me! I thought we had already slept together. I wish I never did it."

She rolled her eyes and turned her back to him, afraid she would be giving him too much if he looked at her face. "I could never do that to you—sleep with someone else. Even when we weren't together you still had my body, you still had my heart. I could never be with anybody else."

"Yeah except  _Baz_." Sam immediately regretted what he said. He had no doubt the two didn't have a physical relationship but their emotional one pushed him away time and time again. He was going to talk to Mercedes about Sebastian later, but being the train wreck that he was, brought it up at the most inopportune time. Frustrated, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

She whipped around; the tear tracks he saw made him hate his self. She was in pain and it was all his fault. "How dare you?" Her tone was icy, dangerous. "Baz is my friend. He's always been there for me. He was there when you were busy with Quinn."

"I know! I messed up! After I got kicked out, she was there for me. You have to know that I would take it all back if I could. I was so depressed and drunk, I didn't know what I was doing until after it was done. Believe me, I never wanted her. I only wanted you. I never wanted any of this."

"It doesn't matter that she drugged you! We could get past that. It only matters that you chose her,  _again_. You cheated on me  _again_. How can I trust you won't do it again?"

"I wouldn't cheat on you! I wasn't in my right mind. The whole situation was messed up. I couldn't have you, and I wanted you. I wanted you so bad it hurt." He didn't realize he began crying. "I knew you were gone and Quinn was there…"

"So whenever I'm gone you'll just look for the next warm body you can find? We could have fought her together, and believe me I hate her for what she did to you, to us but I can't get over you sleeping with her. I won't forgive you for that. " She backed away from him again not realizing she inched closer as the conversation progressed. "How do you expect me to trust you again?"

"Merce…"

"Get out." She turned from him again and wearily pointed to the door.

"But.."

"Go!"

Sam could see she was hitting her breaking point. She didn't deserve to have added stress just so he could alleviate his guilt. He slowly lurched to the door and closed it behind him, sliding down to the floor.

He sat holding vigil outside her door, pretending he couldn't hear her sobs and pretending he didn't hear his own.

This confession ripped the scab off a newly healing wound. She felt they were back at square one and she was watching Quinn on top of him again. She barely got through the first time, how could he do this to her again? She knew it wasn't his fault he was drugged, but that admission paled in comparison to the knowledge that he willingly slept with someone else. Logically she knew they weren't still together, but she felt cheated on. Mercedes could never give her body to anyone else and it spoke volumes about his character that he could in a mere matter of weeks after she left.

* * *

 

Sam woke up on the floor with achy muscles and puffy eyes. He must have cried himself to sleep. He dragged himself down the stairs to make Mercedes some green tea just like he did every morning. Sam hoped the tea would make her feel better. He knocked and slowly entered her room, only to discover she wasn't there. Finding a note where he usually placed her mug on the nightstand, he picked it up and read it aloud.

_Sam,_

_I needed some air and decided to spend the day with Baz. I'll be back before dinner._

_Mercedes._

There was no emotion, no hint of how she was feeling in her words. Sam could deal with anger, but her indifference worried him. He kept reading the two-line note, pausing over Baz's name again and again like a speed bump. Fear crept into his heart. Would this be the day Sebastian finally got what he wanted?

This was not going to work. Her parents were at a charity fundraiser in Colorado, leaving Sam and Mercedes alone with a vast expanse of hurt and anger between them. The house was going to swallow her whole if she didn't get away. It was Christmas Eve and Baz's last night in town. Knowing the next week was going to be filled with Evans family goodness and Mercedes would have to be around Sam every single hour of every single day, she needed a little time to clear her thoughts. The recording was weighing heavy on her heart and if she didn't step away from the situation, she feared she would end up resenting Sam. Baz was once again her knight in shining armor. Her friend surprised her by coming to Lima, and she couldn't even enjoy his visit. She thought it best to create some distance between her and Sam so she called Baz and arranged to spend his last day in town together.

As she spent the day with her old friend, Mercedes came to a realization that dismayed her—for the first time she felt uneasy around Baz. Maybe the mutual co-dependency placed an invisible strain on the relationship. Maybe he was being extra attentive due to her situation. There was an unspoken fundamental shift in the relationship. There was something possessive in the way he looked at her; something intimate in the way he touched her. It put her on edge and reinforced everything her mom chastised her about. No matter how disappointed she was in Sam her mind couldn't help but compare the two.

Sam's touch always put her at ease giving her added security and assurance. His attentiveness was always heartening. She always felt comfortable in his arms and their transition from 'friends' to 'more than' felt seamless. Her time with Sam felt effortless, this felt awkward.  _Forced_ , Driving her friend to the airport, she sighed making haste to return home where an even tenser situation awaited her.

Sam sat at the kitchen table nervously waiting for Mercedes' arrival. He made one of her favorite meals—grilled chicken, asparagus and mashed potatoes. Knowing this would be their last time alone before heading over to spend Christmas with his family, he put extra effort into the meal hoping he could show her how sorry he was. Sam spent the day cleaning and wrapping presents, conferring with his psychiatrist on an emergency call and talking to his parents. He never realized the toll Quinn's confession would take on him. Sam felt angry, hollow and jaded. In a lot of ways, she took his innocence and easily played on his insecurities, He hated her, but mostly he hated himself for not seeing who she really was sooner and causing Mercedes any pain.

He stood immediately and took her coat when she came in. "How was your day?"

She looked up, acknowledging his presence. "Good."

"Well, are you hungry? I made dinner."

"I am. Thank you." She walked over to the kitchen table.

He followed, presenting her plate with flourish. He sighed when she didn't respond to his antics. She always responded.

"Look Jellybean"

"Don't," she said warningly.

"I have to try. I'm sor—"

"It's okay Sam. I'm glad it happened. We were right before. Let's focus all of our attention on the baby. It was irrational of me to think you would be faithful to me after we broke up. This really helps put our priorities together. Our relationship doesn't matter. It never will again _."_ She stood with her plate. "I'll take my food upstairs. I still have to pack and wrap gifts before we leave tonight." She looked around the kitchen and glanced in the living room. "Thanks for cleaning."

He sat speechless, offering up a sad smile as he watched her retreat to her room.

* * *

 

Mercedes loved spending time with the Evans. They were warm, welcoming—the perfect picture of a happy family. Every time she went to visit, she was amazed at how close knit they were. She saw the love and respect they had for each other and was thankful that they were in her life. She missed spending time with them while she was in Houston and vowed to come over more. Despite everything, Mercedes was absolutely giddy about the holiday. She loved Christmas and couldn't wait to spend it with the Evans. She played with Stacy and her dolls and danced around the living room with Stevie. Mostly, she played cards with Dwight catching up on everything. She loved talking to Dwight—she always found his voice soothing.

Sam watched Mercedes remorsefully. He just wanted to be with her. Now, the act of him and Quinn sleeping together was looming over their heads again and this time being drugged didn't explain away his actions. How was he going to convince her she meant the world to him when Mercedes didn't trust him anymore? He knew one thing, watching Stacy kiss Mercedes' belly made him smile. This time next year, they'd have a new addition celebrating the holidays and he was thrilled. He wistfully watched as she spun his little brother around, her smile making his heart swell. He didn't notice his father standing next to him.

"What are you doing?

"Giving her space."

"And what happened the last time you gave her space."

"She left," Sam sighed deeply.

"So what makes you think she wouldn't leave again? Listen I know you two have this weird push/pull going on, but you have to remember each day is a blessing. Every moment you have is a gift and every second you have with the one you love is precious. Sit her down. Pour your heart out and don't stop, don't ever stop. How do you think I snagged your mama?"

"But she's mad at me."

"And she's gonna get madder and madder if you let her sit and stew. Trust me, an angry pregnant, hormonal woman-not pretty."

"I don't know if I could fix all that's broken."

"Remember that you're not guaranteed tomorrow—don't wait until it's too late to let her know how you feel."

Sam turned and hugged his father. "Thanks dad."

"No problem. I'm real glad to have you back son. You look good. You look like you again. I'm so proud of you."

They broke apart when they heard Mary gasp.

Dwight immediately ran to her side. "What's wrong Sugar?"

"I forgot to get the kids and Mercedes their sparkling apple cider for Christmas dinner. Now, what are they going to drink?"

"No worries love, I'll drive to the market and grab some."

Mary gave her husband a peck. "Risking the crowds on Christmas Eve? Dwight Evans, you are too good to me."

He chuckled at his wife's response. "I'm gonna remember you said that."

"Hurry back."

Dwight put on his coat and winked at his wife before closing the door and heading to the market.

After Stacy and Stevie went to bed, Mercedes asked Mary if she needed help baking cookies. "I sure do honey. I especially need your help decorating"

Mercedes laughed. "I don't know if you want my help with decorating, especially after I ruined Stacy's face at that cookout in April."

Mary laughed so hard she snorted. "And my baby was walking around with a teddy bear/puppy on her face and smiling. You may be right. You stick to baking and I'll decorate."

Mercedes smiled at the memory, but her smile turned reflective. She couldn't help feel the pain of not being as close to Sam now as she was then. Back then they were just friends but their relationship held so much promise. She couldn't believe she would grow to be disappointed in him or that he would prove untrustworthy.

After Mary talked about Christmas traditions for 5 minutes, she realized the teenager wasn't paying her any attention and gently touched her shoulder.

"What's on your mind"

Mercedes turned revealing her glassy eyes and sad smile to Mary. "Sam"

"Oh honey. You two will work through everything."

"I'm not sure if I want to anymore."

"I know you want to. If you didn't you wouldn't invest so much emotion on a memory. He hurt you—badly, but you're so strong I have no doubt that if you wanted to walk away you already would've. This goes deeper than that baby. You two share a strong bond, stronger than I have ever seen two people share."

She gave Mercedes a hug, but released the girl once she heard the phone ring.

As soon as Mrs. Evans got off the phone Mercedes knew something was wrong. She saw it in Mrs. Evans' eyes. They look scared and helpless. She caught the woman before Mrs. Evans collapsed to the ground, holding her while her whole body racked in sobs.

"Mrs. Evans what's wrong," she asked stroking Mrs. Evans' hair in a vain attempt to provide comfort. Mercedes' voice was deceptively masking her fear and concern for the woman.

Mrs. Evans looked up at her with tear soaked cheeks. "It's Dwight. He's been shot."


	16. Broken Heroes

_Dwight drove to the market singing along to the chipmunk Christmas album Stacy begged him to buy two Christmases ago. Secretly he knew all the words and it wasn't rare to see him belting out the songs when no one was in the car._

_Having his family happy and healthy made him feel complete. They had a warm and safe house to call home. Stevie and Stacie were excelling in school and finally had some stability after a year of being continuously uprooted. He felt blessed to have his old friends Audrey and Carl back in his family's life. Sam was healing. He was far away from that broken boy drunkenly stumbling around the house and yelling at his siblings in August. His Starshine was back home in Lima safe and sound, and soon the irresponsible teens would gift him with a grandbaby. And, all it took to make his wife happy in this moment was getting some sparkling apple cider from the store._

_Dwight was thankful the market wasn't as crowded as he anticipated. He could be in and out, spending the rest of the night with his family. He gathered his purchase and made his way to the checkout. Dwight heard several screams and the sounds of items falling and shoes scuffling. He heard the gunman before he saw him. "Listen up. This is going to be really quick if you all cooperate. Everyone down on the ground, palms up. Don't move, don't make a sound and you'll live. You," The masked man pointed in the direction of the young cashier whose eyes widened and turned towards Dwight trying to convey his plea for assistance wordlessly. "Put the money in the bag." The boy went to comply when the gunman surprisingly turned in the opposite direction. The man was distracted. He heard sounds of a struggle and two thumps. The silence was eerie as he began to assess the situation looking for the best possible exit. Dwight could easily slip out the front entrance, grabbing the cashier and pulling him to safety, but when he saw what distracted the gunman, he knew he couldn't leave. There was a little boy, shaking with a puddle pooling at the ground beneath him staring down the barrel of a gun. Slowly inching closer, Dwight crawled close enough to see the boy's hearing aid, realizing the boy was deaf and was looking for his parents whose unconscious forms lay in the next aisle after being pistol whipped for frantically searching for their son. "Lookie here. Someone's already breaking the rules. You know what that means. You die." When he heard the gunman cock the gun in the boy's face and saw the boy close his eyes, Dwight leapt into action taking the bullet that was meant for the boy. When the masked man saw the damage he created and the mistake he made, he ran out the door while the cashier ran around the store looking for casualties after calling 911. Dwight could see the smoke from where the bullet seared his flesh. Ignoring his pain, he looked around to make sure the boy was safe and saw him crying in the corner shaken but not injured. He took off his jacket to apply pressure to his wound but he let out a strained cry when he saw how much blood he was losing. He was slipping in and out of consciousness and faintly heard the cashier tell him to hold on until the paramedics arrived. Throughout the ordeal, his eyes stayed fixed on the boy, willing him to be okay. Dwight smirked a little when he saw the paramedic care for the child. Soon the pain and shock of being shot overtook him and he surrendered to the darkness that surrounded him._

* * *

 

Mercedes sat on the kitchen floor holding Mrs. Evans not sure how to comfort the broken woman. She was going to need some assistance. With tears welling in her eyes, she let out a spine-tingling cry to the only person who could help. "Sam!"

Sam's heart sank when he heard Mercedes. There was a panic in her voice that emphasized the urgency in her request. Something was definitely wrong. He rushed in and crouched down when he saw his mother crying. She was always so strong. He knew if she was crying it was because of something serious. "Mom, what happened?"

Mary couldn't find the strength to respond. She looked up at Mercedes and the girl nodded. Turning to Sam she explained. "You have to drive your mom to the hospital. Your dad's been shot. I'll stay with Stacy and Stevie." Her voice was calm and even, knowing added hysterics wouldn't help the situation.

With no time to react, Sam grabbed his mother and led her out the door. Before he left, he stared at Mercedes and they silently regarded each other. She hoped he saw that she would be there for him and his family that she loved him and they were a team. She hoped he could see it because she wasn't ready to say it yet. He nodded, closing the door behind him while Mercedes took a few stabilizing deep breaths, she couldn't break down now. Not when there was so much to do.

She got down on her knees and prayed for Dwight's quick recovery. Although she didn't know the extent of his injuries, she guessed from Mrs. Evans' reaction they must be dire. She prayed for strength to help them through this and after she prayed she called her parents. Mercedes never asked them to come home from a trip or function. She thought it selfish to focus on her needs when Audrey and Carl were out saving the world one village at a time. She waited for her father to answer, knowing when they were in remote areas she was unable to communicate with them for days. Lifting a silent prayer of thanks to God that they weren't outside of the country, her father answered his phone after it rang twice. She knew her parents would drop what they were doing if the request to come home was to console the Evans and not for her. "Dad, you and mom have to come home, Mr. Evans was shot. They need you." She stayed on the phone listening to his frantic background movements and he asked questions she couldn't answer. "I don't know anything but I'm at the house making sure Stacy and Stevie are okay. I don't know what to say when they wake up. Sam took Mrs. Evans to the hospital. Please get home as soon as possible. They are really going to need you."

After getting off the phone with her father, she finally allowed herself time to cry. Mercedes let go--she sobbed uncontrollably, falling to the ground. In her mind, there was no one greater than Dwight Evans. Being around him made everything better. She counted herself blessed to know him and she was always soothed by his presence. The news that this remarkable man was shot had her completely and utterly gutted. After ten minutes she forced herself to calm down, composed herself, and went to check on Stevie and Stacy. How was she going to explain why they weren't having a Christmas when they woke up?

* * *

 

Sam nervously tapped his foot while he sat next to his mother in the hospital waiting room. They waited an hour while Dwight was rushed to surgery. Sam just wanted to see his father—he needed to see for himself that he was okay. He knew his mother needed the reassurance of his father's face as well. They got little information from the police and nurses when they arrived. All they knew was that he was a victim of an armed robbery gone wrong and he saved a little boy's life in the process. No one could tell them the extent of his injuries or whether or not they were life-threatening. Mary and Sam worked hard to push worse case scenarios out of their minds and focus on positive outcomes. Then they waited, and waited. Every minute that went by was torturous. Every second without an update was cruel. After another hour passed, Sam's head was bobbing as he fought sleep. They both sprang to their feet when they saw a few doctors walking towards them.

The doctors introduced themselves as the OR surgeon and the cosmetic surgeon that worked on Dwight during the operation to remove the bullet from his leg. They explained that Dwight was shot perilously close to the femoral artery. It was the artery that was the physical lifeline for a person, pumping blood throughout the lower portion of one's body. A few millimeters and he would have died on the spot. The bullet was so close that a section of the artery ruptured and Dwight had to be placed in a medically induced coma to avoid a possible brain aneurysm after surgery as a precaution. The surgery was touch and go—Dwight flat-lined and had to be resuscitated on the table. They successfully removed the bullet and the cosmetic surgeon stitched him up, making sure there would be minimal scarring. He had a CT head sign and it showed there was thankfully no swelling in his brain. Once he stabilized, they moved him into a room. Now it was up to Dwight to wake up.

Mary smiled, her first after hearing the news. "Good. Because that means he'll be back. He'll fight. All he does is fight." She turned to Sam and consoled her son. "Don't worry baby your daddy's going to be fine." Briefly turning her attention away from her son to the doctors she asked, "Can we see him now?" A nurse led Mary and Sam to Dwight, cautioning that he could only have one visitor at a time. Sam nodded and backed away from the door as his mother squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek.

When his mother went into Dwight's room to say her goodbyes, Sam slipped outside to call Mercedes and update her on his father. Honestly, he needed the comfort her voice always provided.

Mercedes sat checking her phone every five seconds, waiting for an update on Mr. Evans' condition. She realized she wouldn't be able to sleep at 3 AM when she tossed and turned waiting for the light to go off indicating a call. She decided it was best to stay active so she began to organize the Evans' pantry, and fridge, and freezer. By the time she got to the cupboards and her neck was developing a crick from constantly checking her phone, she saw her phone light up and heard Sam's ringtone. She ran to pick up the phone and exhaled deeply to calm her nerves. "Sam?"

"Hey."

"How is he?"

Sam slid against the wall. He had never felt so small and helpless before. "He's in a coma." He caught a sob before it escaped his lips. Sam began filling Mercedes in on his father's condition. Recalling every detail, he clenched his heart unconsciously as he told her how close Mr. Evans came to dying. On the other end, Mercedes mimicked the motion listening with baited breath. He told her they were on their way back home to shower, take a nap and tell the kids what happened. They knew Stevie and Stacy would be waking soon, excited about Christmas morning. Sam ended the conversation and held the phone close to his heart for a moment before going back inside.

* * *

 

On the drive back, Mary told Sam to sleep and she would be going back to the hospital by herself. She thanked him for being there, but recognized he was still a kid with a baby on the way. She knew it was the better option, given the hospital's warnings of the two staying beyond visiting hours and violating hospital policy by having more than one overnight guest. She asked him to stay home, take care of himself and check on Mercedes but Sam was adamant that he stay with his mom. Not wanting to argue or cause any undue stress, Sam obeyed his mother under the condition he relieve her in the afternoon and she come home and rejuvenate at that time.

When Mary walked through the door, she never felt so hollow in her life. Despite the Christmas decorations and smell of cookies in the air, the house lacked its usual warmth. Sam saw Mercedes restless on the couch, trying to fall asleep. He couldn't help the small smile that tugged at his lips. It happened every time he saw her, especially when he watched her sleep. "Poor thing," Mary observed shaking Sam out of his reverie. "Can you help her upstairs? I'm gonna make some cocoa. The kids will be waking up soon." He nodded and Mary hugged him. "Thank you, sweetie. You're going to be a great father."

Mary watched with a broken heart as her kids bounded excitedly down the stairs only to find Sam, Mercedes, and their father were missing. "Merry Christmas Mama," Stacy cheerily stated, hugging her mom and sitting next to her. Stevie, a little groggy, asked "Why didn't daddy wake us up? He usually wakes us up Christmas morning."

"Yeah," Stacy added looking into her mother's eyes. "And why aren't there any Christmas songs playing? Daddy always pretends to hate the Chipmunks but he knows all the words." Mary smiled, thinking of Dwight's reaction to learning his secret was out. When Stevie settled next to his mom, sensing something was wrong, Mary cleared her throat. "Mama," Stevie prodded. "Where's daddy?"

"Daddy was hurt last night and had to go to the hospital. I don't know when he'll get better or when he can come home but you know your daddy is strong," she paused to wipe the tears from Stevie's eyes. "He's going to fight his way back to us." She held the shaking girl in her lap and sighed when the girl spoke in a soft voice. "But I want him to be here now." Kissing her daughter's forehead she replied: "I know honey, I do too."

After a few beats of silence, Stevie asked, "Can we pray for him?"

"I think he would love that." Joining hands and bowing heads they prayed for Dwight's safe return. Emotionally spent, the trio sat on the couch holding each other in silence.

* * *

 

Sam tried to focus on the fact that his father looked peaceful in the hospital but the words the doctors used to describe Mr. Evans' condition echoed in his mind:  _perilously close to sudden death, coma, possible brain aneurysm, flat-lined._ He replayed those words over and over was so close to losing his father forever. Fighting to stay positive, he decided to take a shower hoping it would metaphorically wash the bad thoughts from his mind.

All the emotions he tucked away and unshed tears were finally catching up to him. Sam turned on the shower and slid down the tile hugging his knees with his arms. He didn't know how long he sat there but he rocked gently, as tears racked his body. He needed the privacy of being inconsolable; he couldn't break down in front of his family. They needed him to be strong. Sam tried to cry softly, controlled, but his pain wouldn't allow it.

Mercedes slowly crept into the bathroom and saw his crumpled body shaking and teeth chattering. Wrapping him in a towel, she sat beside him on the floor lacing their hands together. It took him a while to register that there was someone else in the room. When he did he leaned his head onto her chest, getting relief from her steady heartbeat and placed a hand on her protruding belly. They stayed like that for hours, neither speaking, neither moving, until they fell asleep.

* * *

 

Audrey and Carl came barreling in the Evans' residence jolting Stevie Stacy and Mary from their slumber. Mary stood welcoming the warm and crushing hug Audrey gave her. Carl, who could never take a woman crying tried to find something constructive to do. "How about I make everyone breakfast?" Mary smiled at the jittery man, hugging and thanking him for the offer. "That sounds great Carl. Let me go get Mercedes and Sam."

"No," Audrey asserted. "Let me. You are not to lift a finger, not while we're here. We're going to take care of you and the kids. All you need to do is keep sending love and good thoughts Dwight's way. Let us handle the rest."

For the first time, Mary felt she wasn't in this alone. She didn't have to filter or focus on protecting their feelings like she had to do with the kids. She could let go, be at her worst, and knew Audrey and Carl would still be there for her. She was beyond grateful for her friends.

* * *

 

Dwight had an endless rotation of visitors his first day in the hospital. His family, the Jones' and some of the people who were at the supermarket during the robbery checked in on him and said prayers for his speedy recovery—even the EMTs on the scene stopped by to check on the local hero. The only person of significance that hadn't visited was Mercedes.

Despite recently spending a lot of time in them, Mercedes hated hospitals. The stench of sterility wafted through the air making everything smell unpleasant. Everything about this place was unnatural and she couldn't wait until Dwight was at home where he belonged. The only sounds filling his room were the beeps on the machine tracking his vital signs. She leaned over and kissed his cheek before sitting down. She couldn't help but watch his heart rate on the monitor.

"Hi, Mr. Evans. Merry Christmas! I bought you something." She dug in her bag and pulled out three items. "Stevie and Stacy drew you some pictures." She placed the pictures on his nightstand. "Stevie even used a ton of green because he knows it's your favorite." She smiled down at him. Seeing him in this condition scared her. He held such a serene expression. If she didn't know any better, she would have assumed he was sleeping. She wished that was the case.

"Don't tell Sam, but I snuck and found out the sex of the baby. I know he said there's no need to because he was certain it was a boy, but I had to know. He was right." She casually rubbed her stomach. "I bought you something else—A Tale of Two Cities. I read somewhere that people in comas can hear everything around them so I picked the most long-winded, descriptive book I could find in hopes you would wake up and smack it out of my hands." She giggled at her flawed logic. After reading the first chapter, Mr. Evans' nurse poked in and reminded Mercedes that visiting hours were over and Mary was soon on her way to spend the night. Quickly taking his hand she said softly, "I've never told you this before but you're my hero. My life has only gotten better since I met you. Please wake up soon. I need you, everyone needs you." She watched in bewilderment as his mouth began to twitch. After alerting the nurse and his doctor, Mercedes was disappointed to find it was very typical for coma patients to have involuntary muscle twitches and since Dwight didn't respond to further stimuli, they counted his movement as that. Mercedes understood logically it may have been involuntary, but the movement gave her hope that Dwight would recover soon.


	17. Building Bridges

January 14, 2012

Mercedes woke up in the same place she had been for the last three weeks—nestled in Sam's arms. She was beyond thankful for his comfort and she knew together they could get past Dwight's shooting. She was grateful that Dwight was doing better and hoped he would be making a full recovery soon. She had spent the better part of three weeks comforting Sam and being comforted by Sam. They spent their time in silence focusing on the magnitude of small moments. She saw how much Sam loved her, not in his words but in his deeds. She saw it when he held her close, when he cooked for her, when he confided in her, when he wiped her tears. She could feel the currents of love coursing through her body, seeping in her veins at his touch. She could feel him cauterizing her heart, bandaging her soul. His love made her feel completely incomplete and she longed to give in to it. Her head told her to put as much distance between them as possible. His touch threatened to destroy her, to wipe away his past transgressions. He was going to be her ruin—the key to her undoing and she was inching closer and closer to surrendering.

She got up gingerly and slowly lifted his arm from her waist and his hand from her stomach.

Sam woke quickly feeling the emptiness where his arm was. "Mercedes?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you too Sam." He smiled and kissed her shoulder, just like he did when they were together.

She turned to face him. "But telling each other how we feel was never our problem anyway."

Sam knew they spend the last few weeks in a bubble—a nice, warm comforting bubble that had just burst.

He sighed, slightly turning away from her gaze. "I know." In that moment an idea struck him, one he hoped would bring them closer together. "Come to therapy with me."

"Why?"

"Because there are a lot of things I need you to hear and even more I'm trying to work through. It would really help if you were there."

She nodded and squeezed his hand reassuringly before getting up and making everyone breakfast.

Laying back down, he tried to sleep a little while longer.

After calling everyone down for breakfast, Stacy and Stevie were talking animatedly about school and Sam was chewing slowly, half-awake. Mary was at the hospital with Dwight and Audrey and Carl were running errands for Mary. Everyone stopped speaking when they heard Sam's phone ringing and Sam announced it was Mrs. Evans calling. Mercedes didn't want to admit out loud (especially after the disappoint of being wrong) that since the first day she visited Mr. Evans in the hospital she knew he was waking up soon. She hoped this call was the long-awaited news that Mr. Evans was on his way to recovery. When she saw the tears in his eyes her breathing stopped and her mind went to the worst possible place.  _Oh please God don't let him be_ —

"He's awake."

Everyone cheered and hugged at the news. "Come on guys grab your stuff. We're going to the hospital."

Mercedes grabbed her phone and called her parents who were closer to the hospital and rushed to Dwight's bedside.

They sat in the car, each seeming to be in their own little world. Stacy was so excited she was bouncing in her seat at the prospect of seeing her father awake. Stevie was worried Dwight while awake may be in pain and Mercedes was nervous to see him. Sam was relieved that he was awake and just needed to see for himself if his father was at 100%. Everyone barged in and smiled as they saw Dwight and Mary holding hands while she leaned into his chest and he placed a kiss in her hair. When they rushed into the room, Audrey and Carl were already there laughing with Dwight while Mary wiped the tears from her eyes as she smiled. Mercedes hung back and stared at everyone for a while. They all looked relaxed. It was as if the room took a collective deep breath and all the negative thoughts were gone. Dwight's face lit up when he saw his children. Stacy couldn't hold back her jubilation. She ran to her father and wrapped her arms around his neck. Stevie stood looking down at his feet until his father assured him he was okay. Then the little boy broke into a smile and hugged his father. Sam held onto his father as Dwight whispered in his ear and held his son tighter when he broke down. Mercedes smiled as Dwight mimicked her stance. "Well don't just stand there holding up the wall Starshine, come on over." Mercedes missed this. She missed him. Looking around the room at all these crazy quirky people made her feel at ease. They weren't perfect and they weren't poised, but they were hers and she was thankful for their love and support. She knew they were all going to be fine.

* * *

 

The next week found Mercedes visiting Dwight in the hospital. Since he woke up Dwight was feeling restless, he wanted to be home with his family after missing so much time with them. "Hi, Mr. Evans. Badger any nurses about letting you go today?"

"Ha," quirked Mr. Evans "You're hilarious Starshine. Did you know they don't take too kindly to bribes?"

Mercedes fell apart laughing. "You actually tried to bribe them?"

Dwight shrugged, not seeing the problem. "Take a seat. What's been going on with you lately?"

"I brought your favorite," Mercedes proclaimed with fanfare taking the crossword puzzle book out of her bag. It had become a tradition that whenever Mercedes would visit Dwight they would talk while doing a crossword puzzle. He always filled in the across clues while she settled for the down clues.

After hearing her sigh for the first time, he put down his pencil and closed the book. "Alright, are you going to tell me what's on your mind? I can hear you thinking from over here."

"Sorry Mr. Evans, I'm just thinking through some things."

"Sweetie you are wonderful at a lot of things, but lying ain't one of them. You got a few tells, like sighing, working against you."

"How did you know about that?"

"Because I pay attention. Just like I know it has something to do with Sam and your weird relationship status. Am I right?"

Resigned, she gave up. Mercedes couldn't hold it in any longer and it was obvious she couldn't hide from how she felt. Dwight always had a way of making every crisis manageable. She couldn't think of a better person to discuss this current one with.

"You're right. It's about Sam. I just want to close this distance between us and give him my heart but I can't do it. I can't give into the helpless, overpowering feeling of being in love with Sam, of looking beyond what he says because I already how he feels. Being bound to his heart and soul, knowing I am attached forever. The anxiety of being fully immersed in his love and adoration; craving his security. I can't pretend that I don't know the life-threatening feeling of being apart from him when my heart, mind and body ache to be close to him. I barely got out in one piece the first time, how can I survive if it were to happen again? Besides, it's not just him and me anymore. I have Gabe to consider. But for the life of me, I can't understand why I feel that my entire being is linked to his."

Dwight sat back thinking of how to best advise the torn girl. He was silent for a beat before he spoke again. "That's pretty heavy. You've got to always remember that Gabe is the result of your love with Sam. But I think there's more to it. Are you absolutely sure about your feelings and what's stopping you? I mean, are you afraid of being close to anyone or is it just Sam? What exactly do you mean when you say your being is linked to his?"

"It's like we're connected by some force that I have no control over, and if I don't give in my very soul is at stake." She laughed mirthlessly at the absurdity of it all. "Wow that sounds so melodramatic, but I can't explain it any other way."

As he sat up pensively mulling over her predicament, Dwight knew if she stopped over-thinking and let things uncover naturally she would easily find all the answers she sought. He also knew she couldn't make a decision unless she had all the information and he made an executive decision now was that time. "Well do you remember what I told you before? About being so afraid that you can have everything you want you psyche yourself out? I think you're still afraid of your feelings. Maybe you need an extra push. Tell you what, when you get home ask your parents to tell you about 'miracle babies'. They'll know what you mean. Trust me."

"What do you mean miracle babies?"

"Ah uh, trust me. Ask your parents."

Before she could push for more information, Dwight's nurse came in with the news their family was waiting for—Dwight would be getting released that day, as soon as his paperwork and discharge instructions were completed. Mercedes was relieved he finally had a clean bill of health and he was completely mended. Elated, Mercedes got on her phone and called Mary to relay the news and help plan a little welcome home surprise for the elder Evans.

When Dwight opened the door to his home, he smiled at the sight before him. His family, along with Audrey and Carl, were sitting around chatting and drinking cider in their pajamas, just as the Evans did every Christmas morning. The tree was still up and the presents (which seemed to have tripled in size) remained unwrapped and untouched. The smell of cookies permeated the air, just like it had on Christmas Eve, and Dwight was greeted by the fireplace's inviting warmth. It was as if the last four harrowing weeks never happened. He chuckled when he heard the Chipmunks Christmas Album playing softly in the background and Mary placed a gentle kiss on his lips. "Merry Christmas baby. Change into your pajamas so we can open presents." This was the best present he could have received—his family was whole, together and happy. He watched as Stacy's eyes lit up when she saw her yarn and needle set—Mary was finally going to show her little girl how to knit. Dwight's eyebrows raised in concern when he saw how excited Stevie was about the karate classes Carl enrolled him in and relaxed when he saw the thoughtful gift Sam got Mercedes—a spa package. As they sat around the dinner table still buzzed about their presents and Dwight's return a sense of solidarity washed over the group. For better or worse the Evans/Jones were now and would always be one big dysfunctional family.

* * *

 

Mercedes fiddled nervously with the frayed hem on her jacket. She had an unsettling feeling this session held the fate of her future with Sam. The feeling only grew when his therapist asked to see her alone a little before Sam's scheduled time.

She stood as Sam's therapist beckoned her into her office and offered her a seat. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me before Sam's session. My name is Dr. Louise Bowman and I am Sam's psychiatrist. You are a key person in his life and he depends on you more than he knows."

"I depend on him too."

"I am happy to hear that. I asked to speak to you privately to get your version of the relationship. It will give me greater context moving forward with Sam. If there are ever any questions you feel uncomfortable answering, please say 'pass' and we'll move right along. Consequently, if the session becomes too stressful for you let me know and at that time we can assess whether we need to end the session or take a break. Are you ready?" She waited for Mercedes to nod her approval. "Great. Before we get started Sam wrote you a letter he wanted me to read aloud before the session. Would you like to hear what he had to say?"

Mercedes cleared her throat. Did she really want to know? "I'd like that."

"Okay." The therapist slowly opened the letter trying to make sure Mercedes really wanted her to continue. When the girl did not show any signs of stress or discomfort she began to read Sam's barely legible words.

_I never told you this but seeing you on the quad that day was the first time I had been at peace in a long time. I love you more than words can say. You brought me back from disaster and made me whole again. I will never stop loving you and I will never stop pushing for us. No matter what stupid thing I have done or will do (because let's face it, I'm bound to make more mistakes), know that I will always be yours. I hope you do me the honor of always being mine. I know right now we're a mess and that we're both to blame. You bearing my son cemented our lives together. When I see my wife, I still picture your face loving me freely, supporting me forever. I hope you trust me with your heart again, but until that day I will be showing you how much I love you and how much you mean to me because honestly, you changed my life._

_Yours Always (even when you don't want me to be)_

_-Sam_

Mercedes sat still as a statue after Sam's words were read. It was just as she dreaded— this session was going to break her. Sam had a way of disarming her senses even without being in the room. She was inching closer to surrender and the feeling was making her tense and worried.

"Can you tell me how me reading this letter made you feel," Dr. Bowman asked, trying to gauge her emotional response in order to have a better grip on how to help Sam.

Mercedes looked down at her folded hands in her lap. "Pass."

"Okay, why don't you tell me about your relationship with Sam?"

Dr. Bowmansat in silence as Mercedes recounted in detail her relationship with Sam. One thing was glaring—this girl was deeply in love, but was fighting her feelings. By the time Mercedes stopped speaking Louise had a litany of notes and recommendations on how to help the teens. It seems the duo's relationship constantly went in circles with little to no resolution on past hurts thus beginning the cycle again and again. Lather, rinse and repeat. "Are you angry with him for what he did or for how easy it is to forgive him? I am seeing a pattern in your relationship. It seems that every time you two get closer, you do something to sabotage your relationship. Why do you think you put up roadblocks when you two get closer?"

"I do that?"

"Yes, you do. Even looking back to your first argument, which you said was about Quinn's infidelity; you pulled away from each other. You were content to cut your losses and not entertain even staying friends with someone you had an emotional attachment with. You set an ultimatum before you went to Houston, asking him a question you knew he wouldn't be able to answer. I think somewhere inside of you, you knew there was something deeper to the Sam/Quinn interaction you saw, but you saw it as an out and literally ran away from him. What about the recording? It explained why Sam was with Quinn that night and you glossed over it and focused on his sleeping with her. What is it about Sam that scares you out of the happiness you two have already experienced?"

She fought everything inside that was telling her to run away or stop talking until Sam came in, but she couldn't. Dr. Bowman was someone who didn't have a stake in their relationship who could see them objectively. She would be doing everyone a disservice by walking away now, especially when Mercedes knew deep down that everything she was hearing was the truth. "His intensity…if I give into it again and it doesn't work out I'll be devastated. If I keep him at arm's length I can protect my heart. He can be a good friend like Sebastian."

"Ah, Sebastian. It's interesting you brought him up. After you broke up with Sam you seemed to transfer the qualities you had in your relationship with him onto Sebastian. It was easier to cling to Sebastian because you will never feel any romantic feelings towards him. He's your safety net. If you let Sam in, you won't be able to fully guard your heart and that scares you."

"I'm just used to being alone and if I got used to having him around and he left it would hurt more than if I pushed him away early on and he was gone without leaving an imprint on my heart." She felt small and stupid voicing her insecurities. She never realized little lonely Mercedes was pushing the people she loved away to stave off a heartbreak that may have never come. Maybe people don't always leave, and maybe they don't always leave her. She was beginning to realize that loving Sam was worth the risk.

"When he first told you he loved you, why did you assume he meant as friends? When he clarified, why did you hesitate?"

"I couldn't let him in…not in that way. He had the power to make me love him completely and I was already lost in him. When he said those words it validated how I felt and I was shocked that he was still around. If it meant he loved me as more than a friend it meant I would be powerless when he left."

"When he left? Are you saying you went into the relationship anticipating its failure? You tried to downplay your relationship so you couldn't be affected by the immensity of it. But it didn't work, did it?"

"No." Mercedes was furiously wiping tears from her eyes at this point. "I tried to tell myself that I lost myself in him and what we had was too soon and burned too bright. I couldn't say it was everything to me and surpassed my dreams. He hurt me and I couldn't let it happen again, but I also can't let him go."

"If you want a future with him you're going to have to do just that. You've already proven your love is stronger than your fears. There are instances in your relationship where you completely let him in and how did that feel?"

"Amazing."

"Well Mercedes, it seems like you have to make a decision. Like it or not Sam will always be in your life, the question is are you okay with him just being a parent to your child?"

She let the therapist's words seep into her mind while Sam walked in. Eying her cautiously before he sat down, he was pleasantly surprised when her tiny hand reached for his larger one.


	18. Return to Houston Memorial

Mercedes lay in her bed looking at the ceiling reflecting on the therapist's words. She was punishing him by pushing him away and as a result she was punishing herself. She missed the feeling of being complete. She hadn't felt that way since their two-month anniversary and she wanted it back, she wanted him back. She loved him more than her fear and masochistic need to stay alone. She loved him more than the pain she felt when learning about his dalliance with Quinn and she certainly loved him more than the uncertainty she let cloud her actions. Mercedes had a lot of explaining to do, and she needed Sam to know how much he meant to her. He was doing so much for her and it was time his actions were reciprocated. He passed every test and knocked down every wall. Besides, she was tired of fighting the inevitable-it was exhausting.

She had been lying to herself. It had not been too fast. On the contrary, their relationship started painstakingly slow. Too fast would have been to kiss him without abandon when he slung his arm around her before her Christmas party. She only told herself the lie to protect her heart. Their relationship wasn't too intense. They were completely honest with their feelings and she wouldn't trade their candor for anything. Despite the heartache, nothing had been broken between them. She still saw him as her husband and life mate. Her heart still fluttered and her stomach still knotted at his presence. She still melted into his embrace. No matter what happened he was still Sam and he still owned her heart. She finally trusted in the truth. She wasn't going to tell herself lies to make her self-destruction better. She was going after what she needed, and she needed Sam. He was that missing piece of her she had been searching for since childhood and she would be damned if she allowed her damaged heart to ruin them again.

Why did it take her so long to overcome that last hurdle? They would be together right now if she had just told him how she felt. Mercedes didn't believe she could forgive him—but she had. She knew they were strong enough to fight any and every obstacle in their way. Sam was still the same boy that gave her butterflies when he played his guitar in Chicago. He was still the same goofy teen who drew comics and doodles in their notebook just to make her smile. He was still the same man who held her when she cried herself to sleep over Dwight's condition. He was so much more than he knew—he was everything. She was going to get her man back and she hoped he would still want her. This time doubt wouldn't win over and she would lay herself bare because for once, she was relying on complete honesty. She thought back to what Dwight said about getting all the facts before making her decision and realized she never asked her parents what he meant about the whole 'miracle babies' thing at the hospital.

Waddling down the stairs to her father's office she smiled when she saw him dancing to an old  _Temptations_  song. She watched him for a while longer containing her laughter when he spun and dipped an imaginary figure around.

"Is this how to have a successful Dentistry daddy? Dancing by yourself in an office?"

Carl looked up and smiled at his daughter. He loved their relationship now—it was the most they had ever talked and he was thankful he got to spend some time getting to know his daughter before she became a mother and shifted her focus to her child.

"You damn straight this is how I'm successful. Why don't you come over here and dance with me?" He held out his hand and smiled when his daughter grabbed it. "What's on your mind pumpkin?"

She squealed when he gently spun her before continuing to hum over the song. "Well Mr. Evans told me I should talk to you about 'miracle babies' to help me make my mind up about Sam. What does that even mean?" Carl stopped dancing and cleared his throat. "I guess it means you're finally old enough to hear about how you were born. I wish everyone were here right now. Do you want to wait a little longer until they get here?" Mercedes shook her head. "I can't wait any longer. I need all the information now so I know I'm making the right decision. I love him Daddy and I want to be with him." Mr. Jones held his daughter. "Okay, come here." He motioned towards the framed article on his wall. "You must have passed by this frame a million times but you never actually read the article." He sat and pulled up some articles on his computer while she read the article on his wall for the first time. He then proceeded to print them out. "Take a seat."

"I know when I was born I was sick, but I got better. What does any of it have to do with Sam?"

"He was there." He watched her brow furrow and nose scrunch in confusion.

Before she could ask any more questions, he began. "When you were born you had jaundice and had to stay in the hospital for three weeks to make sure your liver was developing properly. While you were there the nurses put you near a boy who had been there for three months and was in bad shape. It was so bad the chaplain read him his last rites."

Instinctively, Mercedes hand went to her stomach. She couldn't imagine her baby being in danger. He was already the best part of her and she felt so bad for the little boy's parents.

"Well when you got to the NICU and they put you next to the boy he started getting better. He got stronger and whenever the nurses took you away he would cry until you got back. You also got stronger; the boy's father would read to his son and you would be soothed, and when your mother read to you, the boy would coo. You two had this strong bond that helped you both get better. There was no medical explanation. I always thought God put you and that boy together to save each other. "

She was slightly amazed by the story. Her mind wandered to the baby boy's condition.

"Daddy, did the baby make it out okay? Did he survive?"

Carl let out a loud laugh. "The baby is just fine. It was Sam."

Her eyes widened. "Sam Evans? My Sam? Are you saying I've been linked to him since I was a baby?" She couldn't stop her heart from racing. This changed everything.

"Mercedes there's a reason for everything. There's a reason Sam Evans, the same boy that helped you heal in the hospital held your hand in kindergarten and was supposed to give you guitar lessons, is your baby's father. You have to let this doubt go, because it seems all roads lead back to Sam. Am I happy that my 17 year-old is having a baby? Hell no, but am I comforted that my grandson's father is Sam Evans? Yes. That boy's a fighter, he had to fight for his life and I know he'll fight for you. Do you need proof? Read these." Carl handed his daughter several articles from newspapers and journals.

She scanned through the articles with tears threatening to spill. Her eyes kept catching the same phrases: "cosmic connection", "healing babies", "unexplainable bond", and "miracle babies". This was the proof that Sam was it for her—they were predestined to be together. Everything made perfect sense—she was powerless to stop it because she wasn't meant to. She was his and he was hers. That was the only way it was supposed to be. Fighting against their connection was like fighting against her very nature. The bond they had as babies only grew and deepened. If she had any lingering doubts, they were banished as soon as her father showed her the articles and told her the stories.

Mercedes knew now was the time for action. She sped off towards the Evans' in search of Sam. She needed to make everything right. She wasn't ending this day without him in her arms. When she arrived, she was sad that no one was home yet. Firmly following her heart she went in search of Sam again. Deciding to go home to check if he was in his room, she left a quick note just in case they missed each other. All the happiness drained from her face when she arrived home and saw who was on her porch.

* * *

 

When Mercedes saw Baz sitting on the heated concrete porch, her body tensed; every sinew and synapse was on high alert. She used to feel reassured whenever she saw her friend, now she felt apprehension and exasperation. Why was he here? Lima and Houston were too far away for the frequent drop-ins. At first, she thought his attention was comforting, why didn't she realize sooner it was creepy? Baz was the absolute last person she needed to see right now. Not letting her guard down but refusing to be dismissive to someone who had only shown her kindness and friendship, Mercedes greeted her friend.

"Hey. What are you doing here?"

His brows furrowed in confusion. "Can't I check in on my friend?

He was wearing that smile, the creepy predatory smirk that was making her uneasy. She felt like a helpless gazelle watching a lion hunt his prey. She wanted to run far away but knew that it wouldn't be fair to her oldest friend.

"Of course," she smiled awkwardly. "But it's your senior year. I'm sure you have better things to be doing other than checking up on me. You have really been amazing through everything and I really appreciate it."

He got closer, and it took everything in Mercedes not to step away from him. "You're my friend," he responded, cupping her cheek. "Of course I'm going to look out for you."

She looked so perfect, with the wind blowing tendrils of hair into her face and her warm inviting smile. That same smile that made him putty in her hands. He had to go for it. For Baz it was the moment he had been waiting for. He needed her to know how he felt and he could show her easier than he could tell her. He loved her and she didn't need to settle for Sam when she could have someone better.

Before she could say anything, Baz's mouth covered hers as he forcefully kissed her. He easily slipped his tongue into her shocked mouth while holding her as close as her protruding belly would allow. She stood frozen for a moment, not sure how to react or what to think until she pushed him away harshly.

"Baz! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Has it been that long since you've been kissed?"

"You're my friend. You can't just go ramming your tongue down people throats." She was furiously wiping her lips hoping the action could erase the unwanted kiss.

"Come on Mercedes, you have to know how I feel about you. I love you. I thought I made that clear."

"I love you too—as a friend. The way that you've been my shoulder to cry on and helped me makes me happy for your  _friendship_ , but there can never be anything more between us."

"Why not? It's that idiot Evans. He humiliated you and you want him back? Come on, all the pregnancy hormones in the world couldn't make you stupid enough to take him back! The Cede I know wouldn't look twice at him."

"Well I must be an idiot too because I love him and he is the  _only_ person I think of in that way and the Cede you knew was sad, lonely and easily manipulated. This Cede knows what she wants and is going after it."

"You know what he's going to do right? You're going to let him in again and he's going to break your heart again. That boy's a loose cannon and he's not good enough for you."

"You're wrong Baz, Sam is  _perfect_  for me—always has been always will be. I will  _always_  choose him. He'll  _always_  win."

"Fine, then don't come crawling back to me when he breaks you again because I won't be there to pick up the pieces. Keep desperately clinging to someone who has shown you on more than one occasion that you don't matter to him. And on that day when he leaves you brokenhearted again I want you to think back to this moment—to the one you chose and the one you pushed away. Don't even think about contacting me because I'm DONE. Enjoy your misery." His voice was strained and emotional. This was all her fault. Relying on him too much gave him the wrong idea about the nature of their relationship. Mercedes could see that he was hurting, but before she could say anything else Baz turned around and walked away.

She stood stunned as she watched her best friend of 12 years literally walk out of her life. It hurt her heart to have to go through life without him but she was no longer going to stand for him badmouthing the father of her child and the love of her life. It was a new world order and Sam was top priority. Even at his loss her heart was lighter—she knew she made the right choice, even at the expense of her oldest friend. Mercedes stood outside until she couldn't see his figure and her hands were turning numb from the cold. Saying a quiet requiem for her dead friendship, she went inside and turned her attention to finding Sam.

* * *

 

Mercedes paced in her room waiting for Sam to get back home; she was getting anxious. She soothed herself by letting the words in the articles she read and reread become emblazoned in her soul.  _Love_ ,  _Miracle_ ,  _Gift_ , _Bond_ ,  _Destiny_ –they kept circling around in her conscious ruling her thoughts. It felt as if everything led up to this. She was ready to put it all on the line and fight for her life—her heart. Her mind was no longer in control of her actions. All of her doubts and feeble attempts to create distance failed—right now she needed to tell him the truth.

Sound amplified when she heard Sam enter the house. Her heartbeat quickened the closer he got to his room and every step he took made her pulse race. She was freefalling and it felt like nirvana. Mercedes knocked on his door and waited for him to open it. Every second felt like an eternity, but when she saw his face everything instantly improved. He looked different to her as her mind flashed back to the various mental images she stored of his face. His features changed. He was beautiful to her before, but now he was breathtaking. Everything was heightened-his eyes looked greener and his lips pinker. She felt this magnetic pull towards him and allowed her body to take her where it wanted to go. Ignoring the puzzled look he shot her and his question of if she was okay, she walked closer to him and pressed their lips together, savoring the feeling of his lips on her own. Sam reacted instantly cradling her neck in his hands while bending slightly to accommodate their height difference. They embraced and she deepened the kiss, itching to get nearer to him. Swiping her tongue across his bottom lip she asked for entrance before lightly sucking and nibbling his lips, alternating between top and bottom. He was slowly coming undone at the pressure, nips and pecks. When she finally slid her tongue in his mouth, she felt like she was home again dueling with his tongue and eliciting a moan from Sam. She was heady from his touch—this is what getting kissed should feel like.

Her touch was electric, shocking his skin where ever her soft hands left. She was branding him as hers. He dreamed of this, her touch, her kiss—it got him through many lonely nights but something was off. It felt like the first time they gave themselves to one another but so much had changed since then. It couldn't happen again, not like this.

Sam slowly pulled away from her scanning her face while trying to catch his breath. "Wow. That was..."

"Perfect," she finished. Her eyes were still closed but her smile was wide. Her chest was heaving from taking in harsh breaths. Sam just told her everything she needed to know in that kiss. Finally looking into his eyes, she grabbed his arm and pulled him closer, ready to kiss him again until he took a step back and ran his fingers through his hair. More than anything he was afraid of going too fast and ruining their relationship. This time he was going to make sure their minds caught up to their hearts and bodies.

He spoke softly, but his words were clear and deliberate. "You know how much I love you jellybean. I want you Mercedes, so bad I ache for you whenever you aren't around but we can't give into our feelings like before. I need to take my time with you—there's too much at stake. You matter too much. This has been the longest I've been alone since coming to Lima and I don't want to rush us again. There is just so much going on right now. I can't be impulsive about this decision. Could we maybe hold off on us until after the baby is born? That way we've had time to adjust in our role as parents and we can heal—we really need to heal Mercedes."

A little crestfallen by his words, she found some solace in the fact that he still wanted to be with her. She understood what he was saying, but his gentle rejection still stung. "I love you too Sam. We're a part of each other—the best parts of each other. You once told me you wanted to have my whole heart. Well, you do, you always have. I respect your decision but there's something you should know. You need to read these." She went to the door and picked up the articles she dropped during their kiss. "They tell you everything you need to know about us." Standing on her toes, she placed a light peck to his lips before waddling back to her room. For the first time in a long time Mercedes was hopeful.

As he watched her leave, Sam slumped over the door, his heart feeling as heavy as his limbs. It hurt to turn her away, but he had to—he loved her too much to be impulsive. He smiled thinking about the kiss. She only took the lead in the relationship once and watching her do it again made him want to give in. The tiny temptress owned his body and heart but he knew asking for time was for the best.

Turning his attention to the stack of papers she gave him, he slowly began to read the article from an old newspaper article in the Houston Chronicle. His heart was beating faster as he read and reread line after line, sentence after sentence about two newborn babies, complete strangers, healing each other. He read nurse accounts of how the baby boy, Samuel Evans was comforted by the girl's presence. His mind was reeling from the information in these clippings. He had been connected to Mercedes since infancy and the connection only seemed to be getting stronger. No wonder he always felt a pull towards her. It explained why his heart actually ached when she cried, or why his eyes always found hers in a crowded room. It made him understand why he gravitated towards her his first few weeks in Ohio and why he was utterly devastated when she ran off to Houston. They were meant to be, even before they realized it. His heart and mind were finally aligned and he recalled the words his father told him that fateful day he was shot. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed and not waking up next to the woman he loved was unacceptable.

Emotionally and physically drained, Mercedes couldn't believe she slept 12 hours. She woke up feeling truly rested, despite being 7 months pregnant. For the first time in a long time she wasn't confused or apprehensive, she was settled and she owed it all to one person—Sam. There was something aromatic filling her room. She closed her eyes as she let the scent fill her nostrils, greedily inhaling it. Sitting up, she saw what was causing the scent. There was a small tray with a covered plate and note on it beside her usual mug of green tea. Turning around she saw a small vase with a sunflower in it. How in the world did he find a sunflower in the dead of winter? Sam was amazing and selfless and  _everything_. Lifting the plate she saw pancakes still warm and cut in shapes. Glancing at the note she saw her name with hearts, stars and flowers around it.

Looking down at the two-word note, she smiled and held it close to her heart letting its words wash over her again and again:  _I'm in._


	19. Putting Down Roots

Mercedes ached all over. It felt like she had to pee every five minutes and her feet were so swollen she took to wearing socks around the house instead of slippers. But today none of that mattered because she was going to surprise Sam. Mercedes was so proud of him. Today marked his sixth month of sobriety and she wanted to celebrate. First, she was going to make him breakfast, just like he had done for her every morning. Knowing he was stressed about his physics exam, she made his lunch—a chicken salad wrap, small side salad, and some carrots while leaving a little note in his bag that read:

_Good luck on your test baby, not that you need it, because you're going to knock them dead. Love you xxxooo Mercedes._

Sam was every bit of amazing catering to her, being attentive and patient when all she did was shut him out. She resolved that they were going to do things differently. Their second chance was everything she never knew she needed and she was going to take steps to protect her relationship this time around. Mercedes was going to make sure Sam knew how much she loved him. Running to the bathroom for the third time that morning she looked at the time and realized Sam should be waking up soon.

After gathering his breakfast and gifts, she sat in the rocking chair in her room waiting for the moment Sam opened his eyes. She loved that chair. Dwight, the carpenter/construction worker extraordinaire, built it for her while he was recovering at home. Although he was under strict doctor's orders to limit physical activity, his hands became idle and crocheting with Mary and Stacy wasn't cutting it. Mr. Evans would sneak off and work on the chair in the early morning when his family was asleep. The chair was exquisite- a rich mahogany with a high gloss finish which had Mercedes' initials scrolled into the center with leaf embellishments. Spending her time with Dwight while he recovered taking walks, and having deep meaningful talks while he tried all of her weird pregnancy concoctions was some of the best times she ever had. She was happy when he was cleared to go back to work because she knew he was getting antsy being cooped up all day, but she was secretly sad that their time together was winding down. Dwight, sensing her sadness, gifted her with the beautiful chair as a memento of their weeks together. Sitting in the chair now reminded her of the love she had for the Evans family and the excitement brewing in her at her impending Evans birth. She smiled to herself as she reflected on watching Sam sleep the morning after they became official and thinking of having his child in the distant future. Bitter irony had long since taught her that things happen in their own time. Now that becoming a mother was in her near future, the fear and anger had long subsided into anxiousness and excitement. Sam's love and endurance gave her the peace she desperately needed as her due date neared.

Her smile widened as Sam's stirring took her away from her musings. "Hey Hulk, you up," she tentatively whispered hoping that she didn't disturb his slumber. With his eyes still closed he smiled, stretching and yawning as he slowly sat up.

When he finally opened his eyes and looked at her, his smile mirrored hers. "It's been a long time since you called me that. I missed it."

She looked at him and her heart surged. Every time he smiled, she felt her stomach flutter. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen and she tried to imprint everything about this moment in her mind and heart. His whole face lit up when he smiled and his nose crinkled slightly. Breaking from her stare she spoke. "I missed you." She stood and sat beside him. "I have a surprise for you." Sam loved surprises but he was a little sluggish after studying for his Physics exam all night, though he welcomed her distraction. Pointing to his nightstand she continued. "I made you breakfast."

He was genuinely surprised. Lately, Mercedes was still sleeping when he left for school. The doctor told the young couple to prepare for lethargy but Sam never imagined she would sleep 10 hours straight. It meant a lot to him that she forced herself to wake up and make him breakfast, when she was probably tired, all to wish him luck on his test. "Thank you baby, but you didn't have to do all of this for a test." Leaning to his side he placed a sweet kiss to her temple.

"I didn't do this for your test."

Pulling back and quirking an eyebrow at her he asked, "Then what's it for?"

She bent down slightly to grab the gift bag at her feet, straining a little at the discomfort, and handed it to him.

"Open it."

He opened it up and found a leather embossed sketchbook. Running his hands over the cover he admired his gift.

Answering his silent question, she spoke. "You don't draw anymore. I used to sit in your room and watch you draw for hours. You were in your own little world. I thought it might be something you could pick up again if you wanted." Before he could say anything she spoke again. "There's something else in the bag too."

Glancing to the bottom of the bag he pulled out a small jewelry box. "What is this jellybean? You proposing?" He was only half-kidding, knowing he would love to be married to Mercedes even though the idea was a little impractical at the time.

Rolling her eyes good-naturedly she ignored his comment. "Just open it Sam."

Sam sat speechless as he inspected the coin. It was a blue coin with a triangle in the middle,'6 months' etched in the center of the triangle, and the words 'to thine own self be true' written across the top.

She looked down, fearing that the coin and his non-response triggered something. "I-I know we don't talk about it much, not even in therapy, but your sobriety is a large part of who you are and I am so proud of you for maintaining it. If you ever decided to talk about it, I'm right here waiting for you to open up to me."

Words could not describe how he felt in that moment. He felt treasured and loved. Sam always had to be the selfless one in relationships. He was so used to putting others first, he never expected the same treatment. Being with Mercedes marked the first time someone had put him first. This woman beside him was everything and he decided he needed to show her what her gifts meant to him. Gently he grabbed her neck smothering her lips with his own. His body was on fire exploring her, tasting and teasing. He stopped when he heard her whimper, pulling back and resting his forehead on hers catching his breath. It took him a few seconds to clear from his haze. "You have to go to the bathroom right?"

She nodded quickly. "I'm sorry Sam. I was trying to hold it. I didn't want to ruin the moment."

"Darling, you could never ruin the moment, you  _made_  the moment. I have to get ready for school anyway." He smirked watching her waddle out of the room to her adjoining bathroom.

He made it downstairs just in time to fly out the door and run to his car, but when he gathered his books, someone made him slow down. Waiting for him by the door was a smiling Mercedes holding his lunch. Placing a kiss to her lips he thanked her.

"When you get home, I have something to show you."

Speaking seductively he asked, "You don't want to show me now?" He placed feather light kisses on her shoulder and neck.

"Mind out of the gutter Hulk." She playfully swatted his arm. "You're going to be late."

"It's not my fault you're so damn sexy." He shrugged then placed a kiss on her belly. Whispering in her ear he added. "Thanks for everything jellybean. I love you."

"I love you too. Good luck," she shouted as she waved to his retreating figure ripping out of the driveway.

He tried to rush through the day in vain, with every second passing feeling like an hour. When he got to the door he smiled at the sight before him—a very pregnant Mercedes watching  _Sprout_  and singing to Gabe.

"What are you doing?"

She sat up and greeted him. "Hey. I'm singing to our son. They say soft sounds soothe babies and as soon as I put this on Gabe stopped kicking."

Turning his attention to her belly he spoke to their son. "Hey buddy, did you have a good day? Did you cause your mom any trouble?"

"No," Mercedes replied. "He was the perfect angel. So…" she rocked on the balls of her feet.

"So…" he countered, mirroring her stance.

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah, I'm ready."

"It's not here though." Grabbing his wrist, she directed him to the door. He slowed down and she turned, realizing he was no longer following her.

"Where is it, Mercedes?"

She knew where this was going. Sam was really sweet but lately, he was treating her like a fragile doll. She hated it. "We're just going to your parent's place Sam."

"No, we're not. Your ankles are swollen. I don't want you to be in any more discomfort. We'll drive." He wrapped his hand in hers and moved them towards his car.

"Sam just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean my legs stopped working. I can walk for twenty minutes, millions of women around the world do it every day."

"I know your legs work, I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm okay. Trust me." She grabbed his hand and they walked to the Evans' residence.

After greeting his family and spending time with his siblings, Mercedes led Sam to the backyard. Luckily the winter was unseasonably warm with highs topping out in the lower sixties. It felt more like fall than winter, and the lack of snow helped with the feeling. With their hands still entwined, they stood in front of a freshly planted tree.

Sam had no idea why Mercedes dragged him here to look at a tree with straps anchoring it to the ground. Furrowing his eyebrows he asked, "why did you want to show me this?"

Standing in front of him she explained. "My grandfather inherited this house from his father. His father's name was Warren Jones. Grandpa Warren was the richest man in Allen County. This neighborhood was always rich, and white. He moved to Ohio in the 20's and there was a lot of racism and discrimination here. People were jealous of his fortune and he was receiving death threats. One night as he was coming home from a business trip in Chicago, he returned to find his house burned to the ground. They even burned the grass and Grandma Pearl's rose garden. He was thankful no one was at home at the time and called to make sure his wife was safe." Sam held her closer as she involuntarily shuddered, recounted her family's history in Ohio.

"Grandpa Warren was so angry he was ready to just move out of Ohio, but Grandma Pearl didn't want anyone running them out. He wanted to send a message, that he couldn't be bullied or pushed out of town. He built the house again brick by brick in a few months. Everything was better than before, but nothing could grow in the yard. They found out it was so badly burned that the fire singed a few feet below the ground to the roots." She leaned her head on his chest as he held her close and rubbed her stomach. Looking down she kicked the grass beneath her, the only greenery she ever saw in the backyard. "No one tried to grow anything on this soil since. I thought it would be a good idea to plant a tree in this spot because it's our new beginning. We can take what was once broken, fix it and make it stronger than before. One day Stevie could use it to climb back into his room after missing curfew or Gabe can sit under it and draw in his sketchbook like his daddy." She closed her eyes as the wind blew around them, thankful to be in his embrace.

She smiled thinking about the little tree taking root and growing stronger despite the once charred and barren land around it. It reminded her that even the smallest things can thrive and grow in adversity. She needed this reminder for the next few weeks and the sexual assault trial on the horizon.

* * *

 

Meeting with lawyers to discuss courtroom strategies was not Mercedes' idea of a perfect Saturday morning, but as the trial neared their lawyer was insistent on preparing their star witness.

Their lawyer, Michael DeAngelis, had been the Jones family lawyer for 30 years. Although he was rarely used, he was considered one of the family and kept on a generous retainer. Once Mr. Jones found out what Quinn did to Sam and Mercedes all of those fond memories he had of the girl flew out the window. Her mother even had the nerve to petition Carl into dropping the case on her daughter's behalf. Carl made it clear that Quinn deserved to be punished for what she did and he was going to make sure everything she did was brought to light. He trusted Michael to handle this case with the care and respect it required.

When Sam went through the details of what he remembered that night, his hand searched for Mercedes' to comfort and alleviate his nerves. Mercedes tried her best to help, mindlessly rubbing his knuckles with her thumb.

"Now sweetpea, Quinn's lawyers are going to try and do everything they can to discredit you as a witness since you would be providing damning testimony. They're going to be relentless. They aren't going to care that you're pregnant or that stress isn't good for the baby. All they want to do is paint Quinn as the victim and make sure she doesn't admit to any wrongdoing. They may try to pressure you into making Sam look like the predator. Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

"Absolutely. She almost destroyed us. She has to learn there are consequences to her actions."

Sam was getting uneasy at having his very pregnant girlfriend testify in the case. At this point, he wanted to forget the whole thing ever happened and move on with his life. Seeing justice served was not worth Mercedes and Gabe's health.

Ignoring Mercedes' affirmation, he asked their lawyer, "Do you think there's any way we can win without Mercedes' testimony?"

Sensing his reticence, Michael shifted his gaze between the young couple before saying. "I think we have an excellent shot. There are a ton of witnesses that can corroborate what she said on the tape and she has a history of being unstable. Mercedes is the only person, besides you and Quinn, that was there the night you were drugged. Putting her on the stand could make this an open and shut case, but I don't want her there if she is going to be stressed out."

"Uncle Mike, I think I can handle a trial. I'll probably be more stressed watching from the sidelines. Besides Gabe isn't due for another month, as long as this trial doesn't drag on I should be fine to testify." Turning to Sam she added, "I'm not leaving your side. We're in this together."

"Alright." Standing to leave he shook Sam's hand while embracing Mercedes and kissing her on the forehead. "Okay sweetpea, I guess I'll see you at the shower Saturday."

"See you then." Realizing she had to go to the bathroom she excused herself.

"Thanks again for taking my case Mr. DeAngelis."

"No problem Sam. I've known sweetpea her whole life. Of course I am going to do everything I can to secure a win." Smiling in the direction Mercedes just left he added, "She looks good. She looks happy. Make sure she stays that way."

Sam looked at his girl. That was one promise he could keep. "I intend to."


	20. The Baby Shower

Saturday came quickly, as did the realization that Mercedes was towards the end of her pregnancy. She was shocked at how fast time was flying and those parental fears she tried her hardest to squelch in the beginning were bubbling back to the surface. She tried so hard to put on a brave face and not focus on her insecurities. Figuring she could handle it, and refusing to trouble Sam, she thought it best to keep her fears to herself. Her anxiety was slowly crippling her confidence. She felt completely inadequate—not mature enough, strong enough, smart enough, and prepared enough to be a mother. She looked over at Sam slinging his leather jacket on and wondered if he shared the same anxieties. He smiled at her and kissed her, lacing their hands together. This was the peace he was missing. Sam spent sleepless nights worried about his new role. He felt completely unworthy and useless, but watching Mercedes gracefully handle the transition into motherhood assuaged his fears. Her confidence shook his dread of being a bad father and he used her strength to find, or at least pretend to find, some of his own.

The room at the Lima Golden Acres Country Club was exquisite, bursting at the seams with excited friends and family members of the Jones/Evans. Their shower had a carnival theme where guests could guess Gabe's birth weight and morph baby pictures of Sam and Mercedes to see what the baby would look like. There were prizes, raffles and carnival food—funnel cake, cotton candy, pretzels, corn dogs, and questionable fried meats. Next to the popcorn stand was a photo booth and a mock confessional where guests could record greetings for Gabe and his parents. Sam chuckled at the opulence remembering a time not too long ago when the Evans family was crammed into a motel room. Now they had their own huge house and were hosting elaborate baby showers. Best of all everything was free—thanks to Audrey and her connections. There was even a caricature artist that made several future family pictures of Gabe and his parents, which were rotating at each table setting as centerpieces. Sam smiled as he stared at the pictures of his unborn son, mindlessly pushing the centerpieces so he could see both pictures at the tables. The artist drew the boy playing baseball, pulling off his diaper, eating with more food on his face than his mouth, kissing his father's cheek and a whole host of heartbreakingly adorable actions that Sam couldn't wait to see. He still looked like the boy from his alcohol-induced hallucination and Sam knew he owed Gabe his life.

Gifts were lining the room from wall to wall. Gabe had everything a baby could ever want and need. Recognizing this early on, Sam asked Mercedes if they could donate the excess to babies in need. Mercedes shared the same the idea, in awe of his selflessness. A bulk of the presents came from Ray's Market, the grocery store where Dwight was shot. Grateful for his act of heroism that coincided with him singlehandedly saving them millions in damages and legal fees when the gunman ran off, the company showered the Evans with gifts and accolades. They received groceries for life, new cars, and full scholarships for each Evans child. Although Dwight shied away from the attention, the management at the market was overeager to repay him in any way they could. Which is why when they found out their hero was soon becoming a grandfather they spared no expense getting baby Gabe all the extravagances he would never see or need. But after the 25th Ray's Market promotional teddy bear and onesie, the gifts from the grateful company were getting overwhelming.

* * *

 

Mercedes sat on a throne made specifically for the shower with Sam's ornately embellished chair to her left. She smiled out to her guests finding their light chatter comforting as she rubbed soothing circles on her belly. She was so lost in her little world she failed to see her mother standing by her side. Wrapping her only daughter in a loving embrace, she kissed Mercedes' temple. "How are you feeling baby?"

Looking at her mom and smiling she answered. "Weird."

"What do you mean?"

Sighing she continued. "I don't know. I feel like I'm finding out so many things about myself I never knew before. I'm finally learning how to be comfortable in my own skin and find my own peace. It feels like Gabe came into my life and my world was instantly brighter, and all of my wrongs corrected themselves. I'm not even sure if that makes any sense." She shrugged and Audrey smiled wistfully. Mercedes still looked like that little girl who hated purple jellybeans. Sadly Audrey realized besides knowing her disdain for grape jellybeans and her love of music, she didn't know too much about her daughter's interests and quirks. Dejectedly, she had to acknowledge that the Evans knew infinitely more about her own flesh and blood than she did. Looking at Mercedes now made Audrey see her own shortcomings as a mother, shortcomings she was confident Mercedes would bypass. Pained, she admitted that she had little influence on the amazing young lady Mercedes was becoming.

"I think you're preparing yourself for motherhood. I'm so proud of you. Although there were times I wanted to shake you two, you and Sam really proved to be responsible young adults. But I also need to thank you."

Rearing back with a quizzical expression she asked, "Thank me? For what?"

"For letting me in. For loving me even when I put everything and everyone above you. Spending that time with you in Houston was the best time of my life because I got to learn about you. Thank you for allowing me to be your mother."

"You'll always be my mother and I'm always going to need you." She leaned her head on Audrey's shoulder while her mother smoothed down Mercedes' hair and placed a soft kiss on her head.

Audrey looked up and smiled sadly, which caused Mercedes to lift her head from her mother's shoulder.

"No, you won't. You don't need me now because you had to adapt to not having me when you did need me. Thanks for pretending that you still do." She kissed her daughter again and made her way through the crowd, discreetly wiping her eyes.

Mercedes drew a deep breath. It was cathartic to hear her mother admit to neglecting her. She always felt selfish or undeserving of her mother's attention. Mercedes reasoned that the children Audrey helped around the world were Audrey's sons and daughters too—they just needed her mommy more than she did. Pushing her resentment down only caused the rift between her and her mother to grow. Now she had a second chance to repair what she once thought was irreparable. She continued rubbing her belly. Gabe truly brought her family together and made everything whole in more ways than one. She was excited to see what miraculous things her baby boy was going to do when he came into the world.

* * *

 

Sam smiled as he watched Mercedes have a heart-to-heart with her mother. When they became friends, Mercedes would always lament on her and Mrs. Jones' rocky relationship and how she wished her mother would be there for her. His son was already a miracle worker—Sam observed that Mercedes and her mother were close than they had ever been, to the point they finished each other's sentences when he would visit Mercedes in Houston. He was proud of Mercedes and the sense of responsibility she had with regard to Gabe. He hoped he mirrored a slither of her maturity and could be the father his son deserved. Sam's father and future father-in-law, who patted his back fraternally, soon flanked him. "How are you feeling about all of this, boy?" Sam looked up at the men with a tight smile and cleared his throat before answering his father's question. "Excited," Sam managed to squeak out, hoping his voice cloaked his terror.

"Yeah," Carl asked. Excited is one word for it. In fact, you look so excited that you might pass out at any given moment. Carl smiled at the nervous boy remembering his reaction to parenthood.

"You do look a little green. Why don't you take a seat?" He scanned his son's features worriedly before offering Sam some water. They sat together Dwight and Carl making sure Sam's face returned to a normal color.

Carl laughed at the boy's expression. "You're going to be a good father."

"How can you be so sure? I've already done so much wrong. But now when I make mistakes I am gonna have to hear my son's disappointed voice or see his sad face. All I want to do is protect him from ever feeling sad or hurt, but I'm afraid I'll fail."

"I'm going to let you in on a little secret," Dwight whispered conspiratorially. "There's no possible way to protect your kid from the bad in life. All you can do is make sure you give him a shoulder to cry on and advice from your heart."

"But you two are great dads. I want my son to look up to me like I look up to you dad. I want to be a good role model like you, Mr. Jones. Mostly I don't want to mess up his life."

Dwight laughed so loud some of the other guests turned toward the trio in amusement. "I'm glad you think so. I looked just like you not too long ago when you were born, but I got some good advice from a great father." Carl smiled at his friend Dwight remembering a time when his once shaggy-haired friend had to be given a paper bag so he didn't hyperventilate when the doctors told him Sam could be taken home. "He told me I already knew how what to do and to follow my heart."

"And the student soon surpassed the teacher. Honestly, the best advice I can give you is to do everything Dwight did and ask him for advice. That's another thing about fatherhood, it never ends. Be comforted in the fact that if you mess up you have years and years of bribery and therapy to make it better." Carl offered the boy a blinding smile.

Sam smiled genuinely, his first in a long time. "Thanks, Mr. Jones."

"No problem Sam. If you ever need anything, we will always be there to support you."

Dwight nodded in agreement. "That's right. Well, if you boys will excuse me, there's an expectant mother I haven't danced with yet." Dwight walked away greeting Mercedes by spinning her around and asking her to dance.

Sam looked towards Mr. Jones, realizing this was the first time they were ever alone together. Carl wasn't scary per se, but his booming voice and intimidating stance made him a force to be reckoned with.

Knowing Sam wasn't going to be the first to speak Carl started. "I know Mercedes told you the whole miracle babies story, but there's a part she didn't know about."

"Oh," Sam asked, Mr. Jones' comment piquing his interest.

Our families bonded while you two were in the NICU, so much that I was a little sad that I wouldn't see them again. Everything we went through was amazing, and we wanted to do something to commemorate what you went through, what we went through together. Your father and I got together and wrote letters for you two. They're supposed to be opened on yours and Mercedes' 18th birthdays, but I think you need it sooner, so I asked your father for it back and I'm giving you mine now. He took the long box that was on his right side and handed it to Sam. He then proceeded to stand up and join his wife near the confessional ready to record his message to his grandson.

Sam smirked at the box. If there's anything he learned from his time with Mercedes and her family it was that they loved to give gifts. It didn't matter the time or the occasion. Just last week Mercedes gave him a gift for being six months sober, he was beginning to get spoiled.

He opened the box and found a letter in the worst handwriting he had ever seen. Was it cursive or print? Are those words or pictures? He focused on the words, slightly squinting and started reading slowly.

_Sam,_

_You must be wondering why a stranger is writing you a letter. But, I'm not a stranger, not really. I was there when you were born and I'm sorry I couldn't be there now as you turn 18. If you're reading this, you've already beaten the odds. The doctors kept telling your parents there was a high likelihood you wouldn't live past 5, but I knew they were wrong. I knew because I saw the incredible fight in you. I saw you prove doctors wrong day in and day out. It was amazing seeing you get stronger every day. I saw you go from struggling to breathe on your own to screaming with the healthiest lungs the NICU ever heard._

_Inside of here, you'll find two items that I hope help on your journey. The first is one of my favorite books, Oh the Places You Will Go. A little cheesy right, everyone gets that book when they reach adulthood. But you can only appreciate your future when you reflect on your past. The second item I 'borrowed' from the nurse's station at Houston Memorial (don't tell your parents about these). They're your daily reports I may or may not have 'swiped' from your medical records. I'm sure you've heard the stories of your birth but I think you need to see just how close you came to dying. The fact that you are alive is a miracle unto itself. Look at these records whenever you are down on yourself or don't feel good enough. Trust me, you're stronger than anyone I have ever known._

_Continue to fight for your life. Fight for every day and treat it like the gift God intended it to be. Fight for love and truth, and always, always fight for yourself. Congratulations, go out into the world change it for the better. I'll be sitting on the sidelines silently cheering you on._

After he read Mr. Jones' words, he reread the letter and began to look through the reports. Mr. Jones knew exactly what he needed to hear. Sam was grateful Gabe was getting the best grandparents ever.

* * *

 

Audrey made an announcement and gathered everyone around the expectant parents so they could begin opening presents. Gabe received so many items, they decided to open a few at the shower and the rest could be sorted/packed for Houston.

They gathered four presents from the massive piles and laid them at Sam's feet. Sam opened the first, a mobile with stars and moons hanging from it that played lullabies. Sam thanked his friends Mike and Tina for the gift, hugging Sam and watching Tina and Mercedes cry onto each other's shoulders. He interrupted briefly to hand Mercedes the next gift.

The second present came from Stacy and the excited girl bounced in her chair waiting for Mercedes to open Gabe's gift. When Mercedes opened the gift bag, which had the cutest picture of a teddy bear drawn by Stacy, she gasped softly. Stacy crocheted a little red beanie and matching booties for her nephew. Mercedes loved them and she told the little girl as much when Stacy launched herself into Mercedes' arms. "Thank you, sweetheart, I love them. I can't wait to see Gabe wearing them." Stacy beamed, proud of her gift before Mary took her hand and guided her back to their table.

When Sam saw who the next present was from, he decided to push it to the side and handed the next gift over to Mercedes.

The last they opened was an ornate box with the words 'for you' etched on the top. Sam saw Mercedes' puzzled expression and leaned over to ask, "who's it from?"

"I don't know," she answered trying to ignore the unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her she knew exactly who the sender was. Cautiously opening up the box and sliding out the gift, her eyes began to well. It was a musical snow globe that had a little girl and boy riding bikes in the park. The little girl had pigtails and smiled wide with her feet in the air while the little boy was struggling to catch up. Ignoring her heartache she wound the base to hear the song it played. It had to be from him, there were too many coincidences for it not to be. The song harkened back memories of long ago when a 6-year-old Mercedes raced her friend Baz in the park, pigtails flapping in the wind. After wailing when she scraped her knee after falling in a shrub, Baz sang 'You are my Sunshine' to make his friend feel better.

Sam looked over at Mercedes' expression worriedly. "Are you okay?" He gingerly wiped his thumb across her cheeks, catching her tears before they fell. "Yeah, I'm fine." For the second time that day she lied to Sam.

After they opened the gifts, both a little shook from the experience, they got help piling the rest in their families' cars. Mercedes went around and mingled with her guest, thanking them for coming. The topic du jour, much to Mercedes' chagrin, was the upcoming trial. She heard the guests whisper about Quinn's instability and how the case against her was air tight. They were so confident that Mercedes testimony would ensure justice was served.

Her main fear about testifying in the trial was the feelings it brought up. They were feelings that made Mercedes question her very being. Feelings she had to tamp down in order to survive and move on. Feelings that threatened to swallow her whole if not kept in check.

Her body began having physical reactions to keeping her emotions bottled in. She was getting stress headaches that she tried to rationalize away. But as the voices that surrounded her mirrored the voices and doubts swirling in her mind about the trial she could see her façade being crumbling brick by brick. Their chatter was chipping away at her false bravado, making her body betray her mind as her face began to expose her fears. Mercedes learned to mimic what people wanted from her—they told her they wanted a calm, mature responsible Mercedes so that was the image she projected. Truthfully, it was all becoming overwhelming and she knew she needed to find a positive outlet for her emotions or they would negatively affect her baby. Sam saw the worry on her face from across the room and ran over to make sure she was okay. He couldn't help but spot her—his eyes were always trained on hers. When the guests saw Sam run from clear across the other side of the room they stopped chatting about the trial and moved away so he could get to his pregnant girlfriend. "Hey, are you okay?" He scanned her face to make sure was telling the truth.

"Yeah," she responded, displaying a sickeningly fake smile. "Everything's fine. I'm just a little tired."

* * *

 

Mercedes lied and she had been lying since. When she got to the courtroom, she instantly regretted concealing her fears because if she did slip up, she could cost Sam his case. Her heart was racing fast all morning and she was silently willing herself to calm down.

She was calm, for the most part, holding Sam's hand, until she entered the courtroom and was met with Quinn's icy glare. She turned her head in Mercedes' direction, seething in her seat and never took her eyes off of Mercedes. Soon Mercedes followed Quinn's gaze watching her expression shift as the maniacal girl glowered at Mercedes' stomach. Mercedes instinctively placed a protective hand over her belly. Watching the standoff, Sam stood in front of Mercedes and lifted her chin to get her attention. "Hey babe, don't worry about her. She can't do anything to hurt us anymore. We're untouchable." She nodded, gathering strength from his confident words. "If you want we could turn around and forget about this. All you have to do is say the word." Mustering up courage she swiveled her head to see Quinn still staring at the two. Rolling her eyes and placing her forehead on Sam's, she mulled over his proposition before responding. "No. She's going to be punished for what she did to you, to us. We're in this together."

He smiled down at the girl he loved beyond measure. "You and me?"

She smiled into his chest, nuzzling closer to him. "Always."

Little did they know Quinn could still do some damage. In fact, she could rock their foundation to its core.


	21. Quinn's Last Stand

Quinn hated Mercedes. She hated that she succeeded to do what Quinn couldn't and now she was rewarded with the perfect little family that should have been Quinn's. After everything she did to make sure Sam gave her a baby she was still alone, still flawed. Hearing how deliriously happy those two were everywhere she went made her stomach turn and she vowed to bring balance to the off-kilter situation.

Quinn was a planner and she planned this out perfectly. Unlike her last plan, she wasn't going to rely on others to get the job done. Nothing was going to stand in her way; she was going to have her baby even if she had to take someone else's. The courthouse was a small one-story building with most of the activity occurring on the main floor. Remembering how much she had to pee during her pregnancy, she was going to lure Mercedes to the deserted basement by putting out of order signs on the main floor's bathrooms and paying the janitor to place them. Quinn greased the janitor's palms further by asking him to tape surgical scalpels to the trashcan base in the deserted bathroom. Quinn always did her homework **.** She knew firsthand how desperation made people do things they wouldn't normally do and she knew the janitor needed the extra money to care for his ailing mother. From there it would be child's play to slip out of the courtroom through the often-ignored side entrance with the precious newborn in hand. With no one to connect her to the janitor she could actually get away scot-free. By the time those bumbling idiots found Mercedes, Quinn would be a few towns over ready to start her new life with the baby she deserved. It was a little extreme, she could admit, but nothing was going to deter from her ultimate goal. She was going to get what she was owed. By any means necessary.

Mercedes looked around the old courtroom warily. She wondered how many innocent people were judged guilty and how many guilty people walked away never paying their crimes. She wondered how many times injustice prevailed and whether justice was served. She pondered the fragility of life and how one decision, one mistake can cause cataclysmic destruction. Sam kept a watchful eye on Mercedes. He had to see for himself that she was okay. Any sign of distress and Sam would get her off the stand. Mercedes' health, their baby's health, was far more important than her testimony. Quinn had already taken so much from him and Sam would be damned if he allowed her to take anything else.

The courtroom descended into hushed tones and quiet murmurs as the lawyers began their opening statements. The Glee club rallied around Sam and Mercedes. In fact, the only support Quinn drew was from her mother who quite honestly looked a little worse for wear. Quinn's lawyer cleared his throat and in a voice fit for Broadway began to speak.

"Ladies and gentleman of the jury I want to draw your attention to my client." He pointed to an innocent looking Quinn and Mercedes had to actively will her eyes not to roll. "This is someone who actively participates in her community. She is someone who has rehabilitated her image. It doesn't make sense that she would throw it all away. Now she has been accused of drugging a young boy in an attempt to sexually assault him into making her pregnant. She's seen firsthand the perils of teenage pregnancy and actively spoken out against it by being a member in her school's celibacy club. This girl is ivy league bound, she is going places. Are you willing to gamble the future of one of our best and brightest on the word of a recovering alcoholic teenager who my client graciously took in? Your honor, ladies and gentleman of the jury, these allegations just don't make sense."

He paused for a moment before cross-examining the prosecution's first witness. His opponent was good, focusing the bulk of his questions on the effects of postpartum depression instead of Sam was a stroke of genius. It probably helped plant the seeds of doubt in the jurors' minds about Quinn's mental state during that time and undermined everything he tried to do when he spotlighted Quinn's rehabilitation. With the mounting evidence being piled up against his client, especially that damned taped confession he tried to make inadmissible, he had to pull out the big guns for a shot at winning.

"Dr. Bowman, how long have you been treating Samuel Evans?"

"Since October 2011."

"And what made you think he was allegedly drugged?"

"I became alarmed during our first session when I asked him to describe how it felt to drink on the day in question. His description of events and symptoms were in line with someone who had been drugged. There is no way he could have felt lethargic, confused and suffered memory loss at the small amount of beer he consumed."

"But the boy is a known alcoholic. Why were you convinced he was drugged as opposed to him being a binge drinker?"

"Because prior to that Sam had only had a few drinks and when you compound to it that your client was the one who actually handed my patient the drink, her behavior looks more and more suspect."

Knowing Sam's doctor provided damning testimony for his client he turned to the judge and added "no further questions your honor," effectively silencing Dr. Bowman. But the damage was already done. He saw it on the jurors' faces. He was doing to have to dig deep and shift all suspicion away from his client to pull out the win. Mentally re-strategizing he called his next witness for questioning.

"The defense calls Noah Puckerman to the stand."

Puck was nervous, a piece of him would always feel guilty for the part he played in Quinn's insanity, but she went too far. Something was seriously wrong with the girl and he owed it to Sam and Mercedes to do everything he could to ensure justice was served. Maybe losing the trial would cause Quinn to face her mistakes.

"Noah what can you tell the court about the night in question?"

Looking around at the ashamed and disgusted faces of his former friends he began. "I didn't know what she planned to do. I thought I was making sure Mercedes didn't testify against us at Beth's custody hearing. I was dumb as shit to go along with her plan." Puck looked over at Mercedes and saw the hurt in her eyes which made him feel like the worst human being alive. Taking a pause to wring his hands, he continued. "We just planned to make sure Sam saw me kissing Mercedes. I swear I didn't know the rest. I would have stopped her. " Mercedes grabbed Sam's wrist, knowing he was about to jump up and maul Puck for his admission. Looking in Mercedes' eyes, Puck repeated, "I would have stopped her."

"Did you do nothing because it would be to your advantage?" If he could paint Quinn as the victim, maybe the jury would be sympathetic towards her.

Puck knew he was being goaded, but it didn't change his reaction as he answered through gritted teeth. "No, I didn't stop her because I didn't know how bad it was. She was a danger to everyone around her. Still is."

"But not stopping her helped you get custody of Beth. Keeping her down would ensure you kept custody. How can the court trust your testimony when you have so much to gain by lying?"

"I'm not lying okay, I'm trying to do the right thing. Quinn's a really good person but she's obsessed with having a baby. She didn't even tell me she planned to make a baby with Sam. I thought she did everything for Beth. Now I know she did everything for her." He looked Quinn directly in her eyes, realizing the girl looking back at him was completely unrecognizable.

Quinn's eyes matched Puck's glare for glare, showing no shame or remorse for her deception. He realized how much his daughter looked like Quinn and it made him sick. One day his little girl would look him in the eyes and ask about her mother. Puck would have to tell her what he did and how he destroyed two people who had always been kind to him. What kind of example could he be for Beth? When he heard Mr. Angelis decline cross-examination, Puck stormed out of the courtroom.

After more testimony from partygoers and the Detective Sam had been in close contact with since he suspected being drugged, the trial was becoming emotionally taxing. The more evidence that pointed to Quinn sexually assaulting Sam the meaner Mr. Moranis' questioning became. And the evidence was piling up by the minute.

"The defense calls Mercedes Jones to the stand."

When Mercedes was called to the stand, all of her preparation flew put the window. Those hours of pouring through likely questions and techniques to remain calm with her attorney and lightning round strategy sessions were all a distant memory, completely forgotten once she stepped inside the courtroom and followed Quinn Fabray's caustic glare to her protruding belly. The light tympanis of her heartbeat morphed into loud clanging gongs and dissonant noises.

"Ms. Jones," the bailiff began. Placing her fidgeting hand on the Bible while raising the other she acquiesced. "Do you swear, to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?" Her eyes shifted for a moment, meeting Quinn's before returning her attention to the bailiff. "I do." She turned and sat in the tattered wooden chair smiling slightly when glancing out at her friends and family silently cheering her on. Their presence was the gesture of solidarity she needed to continue but it was the look in Sam's loving eyes that helped her gather strength.

Sitting on that stand she could see the girl she once was standing by the courtroom doors. The girl who loved without fear or shame and allowed Sam to have every piece of her; the girl whose heart was eviscerated the night she found Sam and Quinn together. She saw her nervously fiddle with the charm bracelet Sam bought for their two-month anniversary never realizing she was slowly but surely losing pieces of herself until she became erratic and unrecognizable. She owed it to that girl to stay strong. She deserved happily ever after and Mercedes was determined to give it to her.

Every emotion Mercedes felt that night came back in triplicate. What's worse is that she felt everyone could see it. She felt exposed like she was cut open and laid bare for all to examine and judge. That overwhelming feeling of despair and desolation washed over her again. The inability to trust her own thoughts or feelings shattered her fledgling confidence and the irrepressible need to hide herself lurched in the shadows of her subconscious.

Quinn's lawyer, Tyler Moranis, stood to begin questioning Mercedes after whispering in Quinn's ear and squeezing her hand comfortingly.

"Ms. Jones, how long have you known my client Quinn Fabray?"

Mercedes leaned closer. Speaking into the mic she answered, "Since I first came to Lima. We used to be good friends." She smiled sadly, perfectly mirroring Sam's famous lopsided grin. "I was the new girl and she was kind and friendly to me." Her mind traveled to a simpler time when she and Quinn would protect each other from bullies and share their lunches. She admired that Quinn. Maybe she could have done something to help her one-time friend. Mercedes saw that Quinn was becoming unhinged; maybe if she would have forced the wayward girl to seek help all of this could have been avoided. But as it stood all she knew was the Quinn that was her dear friend was gone and in her place was a conniving, deceitful, manipulative bitch that tried to rip her relationship with Sam apart at the seams.

"So this girl who you considered a good friend maliciously set out to harm your boyfriend? Something's missing. Maybe there's something you're not telling the court, Mercedes. Let's get everything out in the open. How long have you been jealous of Quinn?"

What the hell was Quinn's lawyer getting at? Mercedes stammered. Cursing inwardly, she knew if she lost her cool now she would damage the ironclad case. "I-I was never jealous of Quinn."

Sam whispered to his lawyer. "You've got to stop this. Mercedes looks stressed." Michael stood, outraged at his colleague's tactics. "Objection your honor. I'm sure counsel can get his questions answered without badgering my witness."

Quinn's lawyer countered, "Your honor, I am trying to determine if this witness' testimony is credible."

The judge, in a gruff voice, agreed. "I'll allow it, but tread lightly counselor."

"Ms. Jones, what exactly did you see on the night in question?"

Mercedes never admitted to anyone that Quinn's betrayal fundamentally changed her. It made an already calloused heart a little harder and a girl with trust issues a little more distrustful. Sure she and Sam were able to repair the hurt, but not before the damage wreaked havoc on her soul.

"I saw Quinn on top of Sam on her couch. He was just kind of laying there. Mercedes looked straight ahead at the courtroom door before continuing. "I heard her moaning and breathing heavily, but Sam was still and really quiet. I only looked for a split second before I couldn't look anymore."

"Are you sure you saw what you think you saw? I mean are you sure Sam was drugged or is that how you rationalized his unfaithfulness?"

"I saw Sam hunched over. He was confused and disoriented. He kept saying he didn't know how he got there. He kept saying he blacked out. He looked dazed and I know beer doesn't make you dazed."

"Well, are you sure he only had a few beers? I mean isn't it possible he had more?"

"I guess it's possible. Honestly, I wasn't there for that part, but I've only seen Sam drink a few times and he always only had one or two beers."

This line of question wasn't working. He was going to shock the girl into instability proving to the jury her word couldn't be trusted. Going for the jugular he asked, "Isn't it true you went after Sam because he was Quinn's boyfriend? And what did you do when Quinn called you out on it? You turned around and got pregnant! Why should the jury believe the words of a bitter and obsessed ex-friend?"

Mercedes was officially done, she wanted to take the mic and shove it down the stupid man's throat. Everything he said was not only wrong it was a dangerous lie that assumed Quinn had something Mercedes wanted. "I have no need to be jealous of Quinn. Look at her. She tried to drug someone so they would give her a baby. She's crazy, and if you're only defense is to question my character and motive you're crazy too. Do your homework and you wouldn't have to grasp at straws."

"Am I crazy? Look at my client Ms. Jones. Are you seriously trying to tell me you never wanted to be her? She has everything you ever wanted, and you're telling me some part of you wasn't happy to take something from her? She was always the pretty popular one, right? Considering you were a social outcast through high school, which is probably why you opted to leave early, looking at Quinn had to have made you feel inferior in every possible way. Isn't it true you felt ugly and unloved, so you took it out on my client?"

Mercedes could hear the murmurs in the courtroom increase. She could see Sam whispering to Mr. DeAngelis to stop the defense lawyer's line of questioning, she could feel the tears that were gathering in her eyes threaten to spill over as she mulled over what Quinn's lawyer was saying. A part of her was lonely and perhaps resentful, being constantly overlooked for dates and solos and  _everything_  but she never took it out on Quinn. Honestly, Quinn hadn't been a friend to her in a long time and she had always been manipulative. Did some part of her actually rejoice in being with Sam because she finally beat Quinn at something? What the hell was wrong with her? Why was she entertaining this bullshit?

Mr. DeAngelis stood again "Your honor, you certainly cannot be allowing this. He's harassing the witness! Besides he's making an assertion without any evidence."

"Mr. DeAngelis don't tell me how to run my courtroom. Mr. Moranis, consider this your last warning. Proceed."

Before Quinn's asshole lawyer could open his mouth she answered his previous accusation. "I have never felt ugly or unloved. Yes, I've felt lonely before but never lonely enough to try and control people into doing what I want. I don't think you heard me before so I'll say it again. I don't want  _anything_  Quinn has!" By the time she finished speaking her heartbeat was erratic and she could feel her blood pressure rising. The vein on the side of her head began to throb and she tried to take calming breaths. Mercedes felt a sharp pain on her side and whimpered. Another sharp pain pulsated through her lower body and she doubled over. She looked up at Sam running towards her with panic in her eyes.

Quinn went through life never having to face the consequences of her own actions. She shifted blame and used guilt to manipulate others. Everything that went wrong, her brilliant plan, was ruined thanks to Mercedes. Why should Mercedes be able to swoop in and steal her happy ending? Quinn wasn't having it. She was counting the minutes until court adjourned for the day and she could exact her revenge.

But something strange happened as she watched the girl being questioned. She saw the look in Mercedes' eyes and her expression softened. A forgotten feeling washed over Quinn and all she wanted to do was protect her friend. She saw the way Mercedes held her belly protectively and in that moment she looked exactly like Quinn when she was pregnant, so much so that staring into Mercedes eyes was like staring into her own. She knew what being young, vulnerable and pregnant felt like. Her eyes filled with tears as she thought back to being ostracized and the one person to help her through it, the person who offered her a place to stay and a shoulder to cry on. The one person she had been systematically destroying. She was wrong, the means did matter and the price was too high to pay. Mercedes gave her peace and she was going to return the favor. In a small, still voice she spoke "stop". She slammed her hand on the table trying to get the crowd to settle. The commotion in the courtroom was escalating and Quinn spoke in a more authoritative tone, "Stop!"

She could hear the movements of the entire courtroom turning to give her the attention she demanded. "Enough! Stop yelling at her and berating her. She did nothing wrong. It was me. It was all me." Quinn was fiercely pointing to her chest ready to accept the punishment and admit culpability. "Everything they're accusing me of I did." Quinn's vision was blurry with all of the tears cascading down her face. "I'm so sorry Mercedes, you don't deserve any of this. They were right-I couldn't be a mother to Beth. I shouldn't be anyone's mother." She was trembling at this point, finally acknowledging her faults. "I tried to make another baby and I drugged Sam. I just wanted to be perfect again. I just wanted to do something right." She turned to her mother who had tears in her eyes at her daughter's admission. "I almost made everything worse. Something's wrong with me. I-I need help." Her whole body seemed heavy as her shoulders sagged. Soon she was kneeling on the courtroom floor face buried in her hands crying uncontrollably. The bailiff gently helped her to her feet and placed the cuffs on her wrists.

All the commotion in the courtroom was white noise to Sam as he inspected Mercedes with concerned eyes and grabbed her hand. Supporting her pregnant frame he guided her out of the courtroom and into his car where his parents were waiting to drive them to the hospital. She grabbed him again wincing as another sharp pain radiated through her body, effectively immobilizing her. "Sam," she managed to croak out, trying to hide the fear in her voice. He held her closer and kissed her forehead. "It's going to be okay baby. You and Gabe are going to be fine." Sam was trying to extinguish the fear her saw in Mercedes' eyes. He briefly exchanged a glance with his father through the mirror silently communicating that if they weren't okay, there was going to be hell to pay.


	22. Meeting Gabe

Mercedes was definitely stir-crazy. After a week of bed rest (doctor's orders after being rushed to the hospital having stressed induced Braxton Hicks contractions), she couldn't find anything that would occupy her time. She tried to focus on constructive pursuits—looking for a new apartment in Houston, looking at the required courses for her major, practicing the guitar and rewashing everything in the house. After that was done, she realized she still had a week of confinement to look forward to. While everyone else around her was in a panic preparing for Gabe, Mercedes remained calm, eerily calm. As the due date approached Sam kept checking and rechecking the baby's room to make sure the young couple had everything they needed. Mercedes chuckled watching her wild-eyed boyfriend run in and out of the makeshift nursery and mumbling to himself as if he were preparing for war or a hurricane. It was cute and she was thankful Sam was so attentive, but in all honesty, she just wanted it to be over. Mercedes had had enough of being pregnant, and she was really excited to finally meet her son.

"Sam, are you sure you want to do this?" Mercedes sat on the edge of her bed warily closing her eyes per Sam's instruction.

"Trust me, I got the recipe online. You just relax. Let me take care of you." Sam wanted to do something nice for Mercedes and since she was bedridden he decided to create an at-home spa experience complete with a facial, pedicure and leg massage. He hoped it was just as good as the spa package he got her for Christmas that she raved about for weeks. He was being resourceful, finding alternatives that he hoped would feel just as good as the original. He couldn't find any classical music, so he used his nature sounds CD instead. The sounds of crickets chirping and whale mating calls were calming, right? Instead of spending money on expensive masks he found some website that promoted using everyday items for a cheaper, more eco-friendly facial. Sam carefully mixed the yogurt and oatmeal concoction for her facial. They didn't have plain oatmeal so he used a few of Stacy and Stevie's fruit and oatmeal mix packets. He thought it best if he cooked them because those facials at the spa were heated, right? He couldn't find plain yogurt so he used that kind with fruit at the bottom. Strawberry was Mercedes' favorite so of course, it would work. Mercedes had her doubts but she could sense how important this was to Sam so she forced herself to relax, knowing whatever the outcome his heart was in the right place.

He placed the gloppy mixture on her face, jutting his tongue out in concentration. She jumped a little at the sensation. It was sticky and it felt weird on her skin, but she smiled anyway. She whimpered softly when she felt it fall on her neck and run down her chest.

He smiled sheepishly, "Sorry Jellybean, I'll just get this cleaned up." He heated some towels earlier and took one to gently wipe the runny mess off her chest and arms. She yelped a little when the now cold towel touched her flesh. Taking the towel, she quickly wiped the 'mask' off her face and everywhere else it landed. "That was nice."

He shook his head and frowned. "N, it wasn't. I'm sorry. I just wanted to help you relax." He looked so dejected and pouty. It was making Mercedes sad.

"No baby it was very thoughtful, thank you." She placed a conciliatory hand on his cheek and he leaned into her touch. "Why don't we try the next thing?"

He smiled and rubbed his hands together in excitement, "Okay, so you're always saying your feet hurt so I thought 'how about a pedicure?'" He laid out all of the tools and sat in front of her on the floor. He had polishes and lotions all lined up, hoping he could be redeemed from the horrible facial he tried to give. Taking out her foot bath, he poured the water in making sure it wasn't too cold. It wasn't. In fact it was quite the opposite. He succeeded—in scalding her already sensitive feet. After lowing her feet in the swirling water she immediately yanked them out. Sam saw how red they were, and felt like the biggest screw up alive. He was tempted to chalk the whole 'spa day' idea and never speak of it again but he felt her lean forward and slightly rub his shoulders. "I am so thankful to have someone thoughtful," she punctuated with a kiss on his cheek. "And selfless," she added another to his other cheek. "And caring," she added a smacking kiss to his lips. "As the father to my son. Thank you for taking care of us."

He smiled and muttered, "Maybe I should quit while I'm behind." He thought he was quiet but she heard him. "What else do you have planned?"

They had a little staring contest before he relented. "Okay. Okay. I want you to lay back and relax."

She laid back and he turned on his nature sounds CD. The sound of crickets chirping was kind of soothing. It reminded her of when they would lay out and stare at the stars. She loved how much he loved astronomy, excitedly calling out the constellations in the sky. Her eyes involuntarily shut as he began, placing the warm oil on her tired legs. She didn't even know her legs were tired, or that she even needed a leg massage until she felt his strong hands kneading her calves, inching their way up her thighs. He worked in small diligent circles and she couldn't help the low moan she released or her eyes rolling back as he relieved her tension to perfection. Suddenly she stopped when she heard the sound coming from the speakers. The room got quiet as he felt the bed vibrate. Soon her laughter filled the room and she sat up on her elbows to look at him. "What the hell was that?"

He rubbed his neck, feeling like he messed up again. "Whale mating call," he answered shrugging.

Her laughter continued as she lay out on her bed. Pulling him to join her, he laid beside her. He watched her tenderly, reaching over to place a light kiss on her shoulder. He still couldn't believe that she was his. She turned around to look him in the eyes, lacing their fingers together and kissing his wrist. "Thank you, Hulk. This was perfect. I loved it." Sam was glad that despite the disasters, she was able to relax. He rubbed her stomach. "It's the least I can do."

* * *

 

Every day a different member of her family would come in and check on her—today was Dwight's turn. She decided to make him lunch—tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich, needing to do anything to relieve her idle hands. She had already given up practicing her guitar finding it hard to concentrate with the belly in the way. After making sure every room in the house was baby proofed, a feat unto itself considering the house's massive size, she organized and reorganized the contents on the pantry and closet shelves. Dwight would be arriving in 45 minutes and she loved the time she was able to spend with him. She knew everything would change and in a few months, she would go from seeing her family every day to only on special occasions. Never since her grandmother's death had she felt that she belonged to a family. In a large way, the Evans showed her what a family should be and helped her own heal. A light bulb went off in her head as she realized, she wasn't leaving her family but was gaining one. That's what Gabe signified—the making of a new family. Sam had been saying it since he found out about her pregnancy, but she had been clouded by hurt and anger to really listen. Now was the first time she focused on its implications.

Consumed by her thoughts, she didn't notice the pool of water on the floor, nor did she feel the wetness running down her legs. But she did feel the unbearable pain of her first contraction. She immediately grabbed her stomach, crying out as her body prepared itself for childbirth. Panic flashed across her face—Gabe wasn't set to arrive for another week. He wasn't ready to be born-Mercedes wasn't ready for his birth. Her breathing was ragged and beads of sweat formed on her forehead, but after a few minutes, the pain subsided. She stared at her overnight bag, already by the door and at the phone clutched in her hand. Instead of calling Sam, she grabbed her parenting books. Deciding to sit (after reading walking helps induce labor) she stared voraciously reading any and every topic she could, frantically circling and highlighting passages. Another shot of pain went rippling through her body and before she could stop it she let out a blood-curdling scream trying to dial Sam with trembling hands. For a moment she was lightheaded, forgetting to breathe because she was so focused on the intense pain. This felt nothing like the Braxton Hicks she experienced last week. This felt 100 times worse. Dwight barged in, the door to the kitchen swinging open as he caught a glimpse of Mercedes hunched over the table with both hands bracing for the next contraction. Dwight rushed over but stopped for a few seconds when he saw the puddle on the floor. "Starshine, your water broke?!"

"Hey Mr. Evans," she replied in an unsteady voice. "It's going to be okay. I'm okay. I just need to read a little more before I go to the hospital."

Dwight looked over at the girl in confusion. "What do you mean? We have to go now!" He grabbed her arm to lead her out in the car. When he felt her resisting he barked, "Let's go!" He only stopped pulling when he saw the fear in her eyes. He took a deep breath when she asked in a still voice, "what if I'm bad at it?"

Gently, he helped her stand. "Starshine you are one of the most nurturing people I know. I've seen the way you interact with Stevie and Stacy. You already know what to do. You're already prepared. I know you'll be a great mom the only thing left is for you to trust yourself."

She nodded as he grabbed her overnight bag. "Thanks Mr. Evans." Taking the hand he offered she waddled to the car. "I'm ready. Let's go."

Wasting no time Dwight called Sam and her doctor first before calling his wife, Carl and Audrey. They made it to the hospital in record time with Mercedes being rushed to the maternity ward immediately.

Sam was feeling anxious. Gabe was coming in a week and he wasn't sure they were prepared yet. He had a weird feeling something big was going to happen today. Against his better judgment he went to school, thankful that next week was spring break and he could spend that time with Mercedes preparing for their son's arrival. He needed to find out what she was doing because even though he was panicked she remained calm. Sam always drew strength from her and he was in awe of how she handled the situation. Even when she was rushed to the hospital during the trial she was the rational one. Quinn had better be thankful no harm came to his family. Sitting in his Physics class he was shocked when the counselor came barreling in. He whispered into the teacher's ear and asked Sam if he could step outside.

Time seemed to slow as his counselor told him Mercedes was in labor. He ran down the hallway, jumped in his truck and sped in the hospital's direction. Between his consults, Mercedes' doctor's appointments and checking in on his father during his injury, Sam knew the route to the hospital like the back of his hand. He made it there in record time—15 minutes to be exact. Running to the maternity wing, he ran into his parents and Mercedes' father outside the waiting room. Dwight sensing the panic in his son's stride walked over to his son and wrapped him in a hug.

"Where is she? Is she okay?"

"She's fine. The nurse came in a few minutes ago to check her progress. Her mom's in there with her now." Sam ran into the nurses' station direction stopping slightly when he heard Carl's voice bellow, "Room 207."

She hadn't realized he was there until she heard his chucks scuff against the linoleum as he was walking towards her.

"Sam," she called out to him in a slightly strained voice. He ran over and grabbed her unoccupied hand.

He looked at her and before he could filter himself, he asked the stupidest question known to man. "Are you okay?" He wasn't sure if the squeeze she gave as a reply was a result of the pain or his question. He directed his question to Mrs. Jones. "The nurse should be coming back in shortly. They just went to see how many centimeters dilated she is and if she's ready for the epidural." He nodded breathing deeply with Mercedes as Audrey went back to the waiting room. Her nurse came in and Mercedes tried to sit a little straighter to prepare for the epidural. "Mercedes I have some bad news. We aren't able to administer the epidural."

"What! Why?"

"Your contractions are moving too fast. When you came in you were 6 cm and 50 percent effaced. When we tested you 20 minutes later you were 7cm and 65 percent effaced."

Mercedes was in tears. If she didn't let her insecurities win and if she wasn't such a basket case, she would have been at the hospital in time for the shot. She couldn't do this without drugs. She wanted the drugs. "That can't be it. There must be something else. What other pain medication can I take?"

The nurse sensed her anxiety and spoke in a soothing tone. "We could give you Stadol through the IV, but there are some side effects. Some women are still in pain even after it's administered and some have reported feeling loopy and groggy. Knowing these risks, do you still want to try the Stadol?"

In the waiting room Carl paced as Dwight kept staring into the hall. After hugged Sam, he picked up Stacy and Stevie from school and brought them to the hospital. The younger Evans siblings were the calmest of the bunch. Mary wordlessly searched for and clung to Audrey while they both wiped each other's eyes. The last time they were in a maternity ward was stressful. Having a newborn baby on the brink of death seemed like a cruel and unjust punishment and they prayed that Mercedes and Sam did not have to go through what they did years ago. This place, these people, they conjured up memories of some of the worse times in the Evans/Jones lives, but they also brought up some of the best. They leaned on each other, just like they had years ago. Carl hugged his old friend and ruffled his shorter hair. "I'm so glad you decided to get rid of that shag, man" Dwight laughed, his first since he brought Mercedes in. Touching his head self consciously he asked, "was it really that bad?" Mary yelled from over Audrey's shoulder "Yes!" which made the quartet laugh a little, relieving the tension in the room. Stevie and Stacy stood by the women as they quieted. After a beat of silence Audrey scooped Stacy up, smiling as the girl giggled and spoke. "I love you guys."

After she agreed to the drugs an hour passed of Mercedes holding onto Sam and breathing deeply before the doctor came in to let her know she was at 10 cm and it was time to push. She felt a little groggy and tired but mostly she was anxious to meet her son.

Feeling an intense burning sensation her doctor checked and saw that the baby was crowning. After a while her lower body was numb and she was grateful for the relief the numbness brought.

"Mercedes, I need you to start pushing." Closing her eyes and gathering support from Sam she pushed with all her might and released trying to focus on Sam's words of encouragement and her learned breathing techniques. After 30 minutes of pushing and breathing she was spent. Tears were running down her face and sweat was glistening from her forehead. All she could focus on was Sam—his words, his eyes, his voice. They soothed her.

"Okay Mercedes this is the big one. He's almost out I can see his head. I need you to dig deep and give me one big push."

When her doctor gave the okay she took a deep breath and shook her head. "I can't do this. I'm sorry Sam. I'm not strong enough." She couldn't stop the tears from falling and felt like a complete failure. "Look at me baby. I know you can do this. You've been amazing and you're almost done. Just one more push and we get to meet Gabe. I love you so much Jellybean." Mercedes finally opened her eyes to look at him. Straining she responded. "I love you too." She pared down and let out a strangled sob as she pushed, bracing herself on Sam's forearm. Her heart stopped beating as she waited with baited breath to hear her son's cry. She hoped everything would be okay but they were Sam and Mercedes—nothing ever came easy for them. Her eyes filled with tears and she strangled a sob in her throat as Gabe's wail pierced the room. They finally released the breath they didn't know they were holding. His son's cry was the sweetest sound Sam had ever heard.

On March 3, 2012 at 2:14pm, Gabriel Taylor Evans made his way into the world. He was 7 pounds, six ounces and 21 inches. Healthy and happy, he had all 10 fingers and toes.

The nurses cleaned him off and asked if Sam wanted to cut the umbilical cord. He nodded and after cutting the cord the nurse handed him Gabe. When Sam held his son in his arms for the first time, he melted. He knew instantly that this little boy held his heart. Gabe was so tiny, so vulnerable. He looked like a miniature version of the boy from his hallucination. Instead of big wild curls, the boy had dark wispy straight hair, and Sam had no idea what color his eyes were because they were shut tight. He could see that the boy had his mother's lips and his mouth as he watched his son purse his lips. His nose was an adorable button shape. He was so overcome by emotion his breath caught in his throat. Sam didn't want to let go, but he looked over at Mercedes and saw how much she wanted to hold Gabe so he handed his son over to Mercedes. He couldn't believe she gave him this gift. That the woman he loved more than anything in the world gave him a son. A little boy he would gladly protect and watch over.

These two imperfect halves united and created a perfect whole, unsoiled by their mistakes and miscommunications. He officially joined two families that were unofficially joined since his parent's births. Gabe was beauty and love personified and the Evans-Jones clan couldn't help but be in awe of the tiny treasure. Even Stevie, the usually strong and even-tempered child, melted when Gabe wrapped his hand around his uncle's finger. Dwight and Audrey, the admitted softies, were bawling at the sight of their new grandson. Everything was perfect, everything was new. It was a long, treacherous and difficult journey marred with tears, anger and mistrust, but somehow they made it through. Sam and Mercedes resolved their issues and miraculously came out stronger and closer than ever. This was the family Mercedes dreamed she had when she spent nights alone. This was the woman Sam wanted when he watched his parents together. She felt Sam's love in his kisses and smiles just as he felt hers in her caresses and gazes. Unable to put words to the joy and relief they felt, he reached out for her hand and kissed her palm. She in turn reached up and placed a hand over his heart, kissing the spot above it.

Waking up the next morning with his face buried in Mercedes bed while he sat in the chair, he couldn't wait to take Gabe home. He stood and stretched. He was stiff as hell, but none of that mattered. Wheeling his girlfriend out of the hospital as she held their newborn Sam couldn't help but feel accomplished and ready to start the next phase of their journey.


	23. The Road to Houston

_March_

As soon as he got Gabe out of the car seat Sam held him. He held him closer as he walked towards the house, and even closer as he walked in. Sam held his newborn impossibly closer as he led the swaddled boy to his crib. This was his son and he was charged with the task of keeping him safe and protected. Gabe was pure and innocent and Sam was going to fight to make sure he remained that way. Laying the baby down in the crib, he moved Mercedes' rocking chair from the corner and placed it right next to the crib. Sam understood his behavior was a little crazy, but he didn't care. This was his child and Gabe's future happiness lay squarely on Sam's shoulders. After an hour of watching Gabe sleep, a rest-broken Sam finally closed his heavy-lidded eyes.

Mercedes watched from the door as father and baby slept peacefully. Smiling and aware that Sam was not moving a muscle, she took the throw she draped over her arm and placed it over Sam. She then placed a kiss on her son's forehead before tiptoeing out of the room, leaving her two boys to rest herself.

Two hours later Sam was talking to Gabe while the boy fussed on his father's chest. "Your mommy and I have known each other for a long time." Sam spoke softly while rubbing soothing circles on Gabe's back. "I've loved your mom since I met her and I love you more than anything. You two are my world. Your grandfather told me to always give you advice, and I plan to—everyday. Here's the first one: Stay away from everybody named Quinn—they're nothing but trouble."

Dinner found the Jones/Evans clan having the first of many family dinners with their new addition. Gabe was still upstairs sleeping and Sam wouldn't take his eyes off of the monitor. His family chattered around him and Sam distractedly tried to follow the conversation all the while checking to see if Gabe stirred. After a few minutes of no sound, Sam thought the monitor might be broken as was about to stand and check on his son when his mother beat him to it. "I can't wait to see my grandson," Mary gushed pulling Carl and Audrey to their feet. Stacy followed, pushing Stevie up. "We want to see him too!" Dwight kept staring at his fidgety son. He knew Sam was having a hard time letting Gabe out of his sight, but he was concerned his son was placing too much pressure on himself to be the perfect father. Mercedes slipped her hand into Sam's and squeezed reassuringly. "Sam, relax I'm sure Gabe's fine." He nodded tersely, half believing her words and half needing to see for his self. Sensing his reticence Dwight went over to his son and asked if they could have a private talk.

Sam and Dwight stood outside of the Jones' backyard. Turning slightly to look his son in the eyes he spoke. "I know you're a new parent and that comes with a lot of pressure, believe me, I get that, but you have to lighten up."

Sam acquiesced. "I know. You're right but they're so perfect, I don't want to mess anything up."

Dwight smiled. "So this is about Gabe  _and_   Mercedes. Trust me, boy, that girl is so in love with you, you couldn't mess up if you tried."

"She was so worried she would be a bad mother, but she does everything right—she's a natural. I feel like I won't hold up my end."

Grabbing his troubled son's shoulders he shook the boy a little. "Jeez, lighten up. Gabe's 2 days old. No one expects you to be perfect. Trust me there's no such thing as the perfect parents. And you're right, Mercedes is amazing, but so are you."

Sam scoffed. "You're only saying that because you're my father."

"I'm only saying this because it's true. Look what you did when I was out of work. Look at how you sacrificed for your siblings. Don't ever discount all the good you've done. Heck, I'm willing to wager Mercedes thinks you're perfect because of it."

He smiled, hugging his father and taking solace in his kind words. "Thanks, dad." They went inside and soon the family hugged goodbye as the Evans' made their way home, and Mr. and Mrs. Jones headed to their bedroom—a soundproof fortress so expansive it covered the entire third floor of the Jones' estate. This left Sam and Mercedes alone for their first night with Gabe. Sam leaned forward and whispered in his love's ear. "We can do this. We are so ready."

Except that they weren't. The first night with Gabe was excruciating as the boy went from placid and docile in the daytime to a screaming terror at night. He just kept crying. Through diaper changes and feeding time. He seemed to find more energy the longer he wailed. Sam and Mercedes were at their wit's end having tried everything—sitting him in the rocking chair, burping him, and singing to him. Frustrated she threw the parenting books she voraciously studied. "These were a waste of money." She was happy her parents soundproofed their room because this little boy's cry was definitely ear-splitting. Finally, Mercedes got an idea. Remembering the lone creaky floorboard she held her son, rocking him gently and stepping on the noisy spot. Soon Gabe was sound asleep in his mother's thankful arms.

After the first incident, the new parents got into a rhythm as they learned Gabe's sleep patterns. Since Sam was still in school and Mercedes hadn't begun work so she would handle the 1AM and 4AM diaper changes and feedings. Knowing Gabe got particularly restless around 6AM, Sam would wake up an hour earlier to hold and spend time with his son before leaving for school. Whenever Sam got back he focused all of his time with his son. They were living in their own little world—a world that was about to be shaken.

* * *

 

_April_

Sam was adjusting to his role as a teenage class, he counted down the hours until he could come back home and be with his family again. He and Mercedes were solid, stronger than they had ever been. In a few months they would leave Lima behind and start their new lives as college students together. Sam dropped his bag by the door eager to hold Gabe when he saw the stack of mail addressed to him. Maybe Mercedes dropped it off when she went over to see his parents. There were three pieces of mail on the counter: the first from the University of Houston. It wasn't in one of those thick 'you're admitted' envelopes but the envelope was a little heavy. Ripping it open his heart sank when he read the words ' _we regret to inform you'._ Their whole plan was to live in the family housing units and attend U of H because he was too stupid to get in he could feel his future ripping at the seams. That school was his only option. Now they would have to pay for an apartment off campus. He couldn't wait for high school to be over so he could work crazy hours this summer and save up. He owed them that much. Crushed, he shredded and crumbled the letter tossing it in the trash.

He eyed the second curiously, bracing for more bad news. He opened the letter from McKinley. His principal was requesting a meeting with his parents about his slumping grades, cautioning that if the improvement wasn't made, he may not graduate. Admittedly he was a little distracted but he never realized it was that bad. He wasn't going to college and now it looked like he was stuck in high school. Sam decided he would study harder, hit the books on the weekend and he could bounce back. His parents didn't have to know anything about this.

Batting 0 for 2, he decided to try his luck on the piece of mail from his former camp. He thought it strange he would receive anything from them, although he did ask a former teacher for a reference based on his guitar prowess. He hoped it would give him the competitive edge for his application since the panel raved during his audition. 'That was a waste,' he thought bitterly looking into the trash where his crumbled rejection letter resided. He ripped the letter opened surprised by its contents.

He was still rereading the letter when Mercedes ambled into the living room with a big smile on her face adjusting her top from feeding Gabe. "Hey babe," she greeted, standing on her toes to kiss his lips. "What's that?" He handed her the letter inviting him to teach a two-week guitar session at his former camp. Having seen his audition tape, the school asked one of their distinguished alumni back to teach classes during the summer. Most alumni who were asked agreed to teach for the recognition alone. She looked up at him with an unreadable expression. Before she opened her mouth, he spoke with a hand to each hip. "I'll send them a letter thanking them but declining. I can't be away from y'all for two weeks." She gripped the sides of his face, drawing him closer. "This is a great opportunity. You'll be able to say you taught at a prestigious music school known the world over. You have to do it. Gabe and I will be fine." He was glad she wanted him to go because a small completely selfish part really wanted to, even though the thought of leaving his family was tearing him up inside. Still, Sam was honored they chose him. His goofy grin dropped once she asked "I saw you got something from University of Houston. What was it?" She was so excited she was bouncing on her heels. "I got in." She smiled and leapt into his arms. "I'm so happy for you. I mean I knew you were going to get in, it's just official now." He wrapped his arms around her and placed a worried kiss to the top of her head. "Yeah, everything worked out." They leaned on the counter discussing their days and what Sam wanted for dinner. Sam always felt like he and Mercedes were an old married couple. It was easy to be domestic with her.

Suspicion was her natural reaction to everything so he was a little shocked that she didn't question why he let her see the invite for the prestigious camp and not the acceptance letter. He barely heard her telling him she got a paid internship at the music store this summer. The guilt of his deception was weighing heavy on his mind. Maybe she was learning to trust his word.  _Damn_. She was going to kill him when she found out the truth. He knew he was all types of wrong but he kept picturing her disappointed face and knew he couldn't bear to see it. He couldn't think of what to do when she inevitably found out so he borrowed a page from her book and avoided the topic. Every time she talked about how thankful she was they could live in the family housing units he (not so) skillfully diverted the conversation.

* * *

 

_May/June_

Time seemed to be moving fast as the big move to Houston approached. Gabe was already two months old and Sam's favorite part of the day was spending an hour with his son before going to school. He paced as his baby boy cooed in his arms. "I don't know what I'm going to do buddy. Your mom is going to kill me." He smiled as his son opened his big green eyes and wrapped his hand around his father's fingers. "I'm going to tell her tonight…no more secrets." Kissing his son he laid the sleeping boy in his crib and turned on his mobile watching his son fall into a deeper sleep.

But he didn't tell her that night, or the next. He lost his nerve every time he tried. Sam was becoming reclusive. After his parent's found out about his grades they forced him to focus on his studies. He didn't want to do anything away from home. Instead of prom, Sam wanted to spend the evening with Gabe, and encouraged Mercedes to stay later at work. Whenever Mercedes brought up his mood, he would give some scripted answer or try to change the subject. His family discussed plans for his 18th birthday. Knowing they weren't going to let his birthday pass without celebrating, he decided to roll his birthday in with the second annual Evans/Jones family barbeque, not wanting the focus to be solely on him. When he told Mercedes his birthday plans consisted of him spending a quiet home at night with Gabe she got frustrated and asked her parents if they could babysit. He was a good father but he was more than that. She was afraid he would lose himself and become resentful. Mercedes could concede to his prom plans, hoping that she could sway him in the next two weeks to attend, but not celebrating his birthday? He was asking too much and she wouldn't allow it.

The night of his birthday, Sam made his way to Gabe's room but was shocked to find he wasn't there. He turned around and he bit his lip at the sight of her. Mercedes was always beautiful but tonight she was sexy. Dressed to the hilt in a fire engine red halter that cinched in her waist before flaring out above her knee, she looked like a siren. She was wearing that intoxicating scent that made him drool at prom and her hair was parted to one side with deep waves cascading over her shoulders. The matching lipstick drew more attention to her sexy plump lips and those ungodly pumps made him want to see her legs straight in the air as he pummeled her mercilessly. She sauntered over to him. Playing with the hair at the nape of his neck and lightly massaging his scalp. She smiled when she felt him shudder. "Happy birthday Hulk. We have reservations in an hour. Don't keep me waiting." All thoughts of a nice quiet evening at home were vanished and he stifled a growl watching her hips sway as she left the room. Damn his woman was sexy, and she dressed up for him so they could celebrate his birthday together. He quickly jumped into the shower to get ready.

As they entered the Moroccan restaurant, Sam slid his hands in hers. They were so focused on the future that they weren't taking time to enjoy each other. Every conversation they had was either about Gabe or Houston and they were beginning to lose their relationship. They were taking a much needed time-out from the stress, enjoying being able to talk and laugh and just be with each other. No pressure or plans, just the pleasure of each other's company. Sam felt lighter than he had in a long time and was beyond grateful. He didn't know how he didn't notice it before but on the table sat a medium sized box. Of course she got him a gift; she was a Jones after all. She was so excited she began bouncing in her seat. "Okay, open it." As soon as he opened it, that thousand pound weight returned. In the box was a University of Houston sweatshirt. It was everything he wanted and couldn't have, it was all his failures and in that moment he couldn't bear to wipe the smile off his gorgeous girlfriend's face. He thanked her and kissed her hand, the guilt making him withdrawal from his earlier happiness. She suggested a stroll after dinner, not wanted the evening to end and he obliged desperately holding on to the lifeline his lie might make him lose.

June came roaring in with a few changes Sam wasn't prepared for. First there was graduation, which Sam didn't even want to go to, opting to spend a nice quiet night at home with Mercedes and Gabe. All that changed when his mother made him feel guilty about his decision not to go. She looked at him with watery eyes saying, "Sam, because of our situation you had to grow up faster than you should. We only have a few months left before you make your way in the world. I never asked you for much. I'm asking that you walk for your family." He caved instantly and he was proud he did.

After graduation he was able to focus his time on working so they had more than enough saved. He know what little amount he made would pale in comparison to the 'small portion' of Mercedes' trust she would have access to in a few months, but he had to pull his weight. They were in this together and he was determined to pay for half (which killed him because he wanted to pay for everything) of the expenses. He came home from his shift and found her on the phone having a heated argument.

Sam watched as her expression changed, her bright smiled morphed into a scowl and her narrowed eyes were pointed in Sam's direction. He could tell his little world was about to fall apart and he was powerless against it. It was as if he were watching a car wreck in slow motion. He stilled when she hung up the phone. She spoke in a low threatening voice. "Sam, that was the resident coordinator. Care to tell me why she said we can't live in the family dorms because you aren't a student?"

Luckily for Sam Gabe made a noise and Mercedes turned towards the baby monitor hearing Gabe fuss. She went to go check on her son, but not before giving Sam a disgusted look. "We're going to finish this."

She came back downstairs in a matter of minutes, the time away seeming to fuel her anger and not diffuse it. "Care to tell me why you've been lying to my face this whole time?"

Sam was trying to think on his feet and when he tried to be crafty things usually went from bad to worse. He stood defiantly and asked, "So you just believe that resident coordinator over me?" He regretted the accusation as soon as it left his lips.

She was ready for battle. Crossing her arms she stood at an intimidating 5'2''. "Really? That's all you got? Trying to turn this around on me? Come on Sam that's weak because I, like a fool, believed you. For months you were lying to my face and I took your word for it. After talking to the admissions counselor, the provost and the dean's assistant I finally got it—you lied to me." He missed his dreams. The ones where he would tell Mercedes the truth and they would work through it together. Right now, reality was kicking his ass and he knew he deserved the beating.

Backpedaling he slid a frustrated hand through his hair and moved closer to his girlfriend. The only way he was getting out of this was by telling the truth and paying the consequences. "Look I'm sorry okay. I didn't know how to tell you I didn't get in. I didn't want to see that look that you're giving me right now. It hurts too much."

She softened her stance—a little. She had no idea how he did it but she could never stay too mad at him, especially when it came to his insecurities. "Sam you can't lie to me because you're afraid of my reaction. I don't know what's worse- the lie or your low opinion of me. We're never going to make it if you won't trust me with the truth."

"But you had everything all set—the college, the apartment, the daycare. I didn't want to ruin the plan."

Stepping closer she grabbed one of his hands and held it between hers comfortingly. "The plan only works if it's good for everyone—Gabe, you  _and_  me. That plan wasn't. Now we just have to make a new one."

He grabbed her and held her close. Placing a kiss on the top of her head he sighed deeply.

She moved slightly to look him in the eye. "You can't keep hiding things from me and not letting me know how you feel. You remember what happened to us when we stopped communicating last time, right? The stakes are too high for us to regress. Let's get everything out in the open."

She stiffened a little when she heard him say, "I have a little confession." He looked down at her to see her looking at him expectantly. "When you were pregnant with Gabe I acted all calm because you were calm. I was actually freaking out."

Mercedes laid her head back on his chest and chuckled, finding his hand to lace with her own. "I was too. I saw how you were and tried to be the same. I was just pretending. I was so freaked out that when my water broke I was trying to read every parenting book I could."

He laughed and she could feel his chest rumble her head moving slightly at the sensation. She loved that feeling—it meant he was truly happy. "Yeah? You hid it really well."

She looked up into his eyes. "That's the problem. I shouldn't be hiding anything from you and you shouldn't hide anything from me."

* * *

 

_July_

Plans were settled and things were kicking into high gear for their last months in Lima. Sam decided to enroll in a local technical school for a year and reapply to University of Houston. The school was just 20 minutes away from The Child Development Center on Mercedes' campus where Gabe would be and 15 minutes away from the luxury three-bedroom apartment Mercedes found. They lucked out—it was in a building where the management company was having trouble getting tenants so they slashed the rent 40%. The rooms were massive and they had their all-new appliances. They were even told they could renovate. In a year Sam and Mercedes agreed to decide if they wanted to renew or if they wanted to try their hand in the family units if Sam was accepted.

Baby Gabe was becoming more independent. At four months his formally wispy hair was starting to curl and he couldn't keep his fingers and toes out of his mouth. Sam and Mercedes spent hours hovering above their happy boy watching him entertain himself.

Mercedes threw her keys on the counter and sighed before making her way up the stairs to see Gabe. Her mother had been extremely supportive, offering the working mother babysitting services but she didn't want to depend on her mom to take care of her son. She found a day care near her internship where she could check up on Gabe during her lunch hour. Mercedes tried her best to stay positive but a bad feeling lurched in the pit of stomach. A feeling she was unable to shake all day. Last year at this time her heart was stomped. Today marked the first year anniversary of the day she found Sam with Quinn together and although she tried to let the past stay in the past, she couldn't forget the bad memories this day produced. But she had a lot to look forward to. Sam was coming home in a day and she missed him every day he was gone. Phone calls and text messages didn't make up for having him wrap his arms around her in the middle of the night. Her phone couldn't kiss her every morning or leave notes by her bedside. Mercedes was happy he had the opportunity to teach the next generation of musical geniuses but she was happier he was coming home. She lay Gabe down in his crib when she heard the doorbell. Running downstairs to answer the door she got the shock of her life when she swung it open.  _Puck_. She knew today was going to be horrible.

Mercedes stood in the doorway, mouth agape, looking at the nervous boy in front of her. "What are you doing here?"

"I know I'm probably one of the last people you want to see but I was hoping we could talk?" She let her former friend in but refused to let her guard down.

"You have five minutes."

"I just wanted to let you know how incredibly sorry I am for my role in what happened. I'm so sorry I hurt you and I'm sorry I used you."

She nodded, letting his words sink in but failing to move closer. The Puck she knew and trusted was long gone and she didn't know the person who sat next to her asking forgiveness. "I guess I just don't understand why you did it. How you could hurt Sam so easily. How you could hurt  _me_  so easily." That's what hurt Mercedes the most. She felt they bonded over Beth. He called her and cried on her shoulder late at night when Beth first went to live with Mrs. Cochran. He called her first when he found out Beth was back in Lima. She considered him a brotherly figure and for him to throw away their friendship and attempt to torpedo her relationship was inexcusable. She wanted to know why. Why she was so easily discarded. Why she was always so easily discarded.

"I really thought you would hurt my chances of getting Beth back. I was going to do anything to get my little girl back. But when I saw your face after I kissed you…" He looked up at her for a moment, his glassy eyes stormy and remorseful. "I knew it was wrong and that Beth would be ashamed to have a father that would stoop so low and hurt one of the few people that had always been there for them."

She was hurt by his actions but a larger part of her just wanted to move on. Her family was set to start a new chapter and she didn't want any memories from the past dragging them down. She heard him sniffle. Sighing she lifted his chin so he could look in her eyes. "I forgive you."

He released a deep breath, never realizing how much he needed her forgiveness until he had it. Overcome with emotion, Puck wrapped the smaller girl in his arms hugging her fiercely, which caused her to giggle. In that precise moment, Sam walked through the door.

Sam sensed she was feeling down about today. He hadn't forgotten what happened a year ago and although they were in a better place now, those events still influenced their relationship. He was feeling anxious about the day his self and wanted to replace the bad memories with some good ones. After his last class ended that morning, he caught a bus and high-tailed it back to Lima. He was going to surprise his love with a bouquet of flowers hoping her face would help alleviate his own uneasiness around the day.

He ran up the driveway itching to see Gabe and Mercedes. Opening the door he paled at the sight before him—his Mercedes giggling in Puck's arms. Memories of last year came flooding back and he was unable to quell the blind rage that coursed through his veins. He growled and snarled at Puck, charging at the boy. Puck never fought back, mostly because he was surprised by the move and Sam left him a little winded, and partly because he knew he deserved what Sam was about to do. Clenching his fists Sam landed body blow after body blow to the now crouching boy ignoring Mercedes' pleas for him to stop. He only stopped when her tiny hands wrapped around his arms and pulled it back. Looking only at Mercedes he asked, "What the fuck is he doing here?"

She looked his bloody knuckles and went to check on Puck. "He was apologizing."

Sam paced to calm down as Mercedes grabbed ice packs for the injured boys. After a moment of tense silence, Puck spoke. "I never got to tell her face to face how sorry I was. I know you didn't want to hear it before but I'm really sorry man and I'm happy everything worked out. "

Sam nodded, not really accepting his apology and not really trusting his words.

Changing the topic Mercedes asked, "How's Beth?"

Puck smiled and winced in pain as he tried to sit up. "She's great. She's growing up so fast. She's real smart too—can sing her ABCs." Mercedes smiled. She always knew the little girl was smart. "She's actually why I'm here. If someone tried to do to Beth what Quinn tried to do to Gabe, I wouldn't know what to do." Instinctively the couple looked at each other before their gaze was diverted to the stairs that led to Gabe's room. "When she confessed she also told them she was planning to kidnap Gabe. They found surgical scalpels taped to one of the trashcans in the bathroom. Quinn planned on cutting Gabe out of Mercedes and running away. She's going to jail."

They looked at each other both grateful they were leaving soon and anxious to put distance between Gabe and Quinn.

Mercedes didn't know what to do with the information. It was overwhelming. Excusing herself she ran upstairs to hold her baby boy.

No matter how hard they tried, Mercedes and Sam couldn't break free from their past. It seemed as if the more things changed, the more they stayed the same. Right now both couldn't wait for the relief moving to Houston would bring.

* * *

 

_August_

August brought a flurry of changes as the family prepaid to leave Lima and embark on a new journey together. They shipped a lot of their items in the weeks leading to their arrival so they would have a lighter load. Their financial troubles dissipated when Mercedes received a portion of her inheritance. Granted $200,000 of a 4- million dollar trust seemed meager, but to Mercedes it was more money than she could wrap her head around. She put half of the money towards a trust for her son and the other half in the bank only spending on rent (which she paid up for the year). Sam didn't want to tell her, but being around that kind of money made him nervous. Sure Mercedes remained grounded, but he hoped her massive windfall didn't change that. He was already upset that she spent the money on paying for rent. Everything was supposed to be split and she was already changing the decisions they made. And this was only the small portion—how much worse would it be when she got her full inheritance! He was sure this money would cause more problems than it solved.

They were leaving the day after her birthday and Sam had the perfect plan. They would walk around Lima and spend the day in their favorite places. They flew kites at Robb Park, lay under a blanket by Green Lake and walked around the deserted hallways holding hands at McKinley. Lastly, he took her to their secret meeting place where he placed a blanket on the floor for a picnic. It was their story in Lima and they both chattered about how excited they were to find their own places in Houston. She hummed after they ate and laid on him with her back lounged against his chest—they always fit perfectly together. Turning her head slightly she asked, "can you believe not so long ago we were in here saying goodbye?" She didn't see the tear he discreetly wiped from his eye before it could fall. "Yeah, that seems like a lifetime ago." She heard the emotion in his voice and kissed his lips. Smiling she spoke softly. "I like this, being here, with you." He sat silently soaking her words in. No matter the pressure he felt and his anxiety about the next phase of their lives he knew it would be okay because he was with her. After an hour of companionable silence, they walked back to the Jones/Evans where the family threw her a birthday party.

The day was finally here. This was the last day they would reside in Lima. Mercedes had been so anxious and excited to leave but when the day actually arrived she was feeling sad. She could tell everyone was being strong. Everyone except Stacy. The little girl tried so hard to be strong but when Mercedes caught her glassy eyed with trembling lips she pulled her aside. She held the distraught girl all night as Stacy proceeded to cry in Mercedes' arms. Mercedes promised that she could call anytime she wanted and she would make sure Stacy could visit in the summer. Waking up, thoughts of a pouty Stacy flashed in her mind and she knew this morning would be emotionally taxing. Turning around she saw Sam's usual spot empty so she decided to wash up quickly and get Gabe. Her little boy wasn't in his room so we went downstairs and followed the sounds of laughter to the kitchen.

Everyone was as the table talking, laughing and fawning over Gabe. She stood just watching everyone interact—she hadn't realized how much she would miss them until that moment. Plastering a smile on her face, she greeted everyone and joined in their revelry. Once breakfast was over and presents were handed out, they prepared to say goodbye to Lima. Mary packed them more than enough food and snacks for their 20 hour trek and each family member lined up to say their goodbyes, everyone except Stacy who held on to Sam for dear life. Mercedes hugged Stevie first. She told the little boy to be good and he groaned when Sam ruffled his hair from behind where Mercedes stood. Next there was Mrs. Evans who hugged her tight and with glistening eyes cupped her son's cheeks. "You two be good to each other." Sam hugged Mrs. Jones next and she only let go when he promised he would call as soon as they got to Tennessee. Then Sam hugged his father who warned him to "take care of my girl." Mercedes kissed her father on the cheek and she smiled when he gave her one of his famous bear hugs. She knowingly wiped the tears from his eyes. The last person she said goodbye to was Dwight. She knew it would be difficult to say goodbye to him but after feeling drained by saying goodbye to everyone she just ran into his open arms and sobbed. "Oh Starshine you're going to be great."

"I'm going to miss you Mr. Evans. So much."

"I'll miss you too." He pulled an old envelope out of his pocket and handed it to her. "This is for you. When you're ready" She wiped her eyes and hugged him again.

With sniffles and a sleeping Gabe laying on his father's shoulder Sam and Mercedes waved goodbye to their family with promises to call when they got there and well wishes.

Once they got in Mercedes' car, which had a small trailer with all of their stuff hitched to the back they were quiet, each in their own little world. Mercedes joined Gabe in the back seat and fell asleep. Sam couldn't help but watch his family through the rearview mirror. He wanted Mercedes to be his wife more than anything but he remembered her father's words when he asked for his permission. "There's no need to rush through life. It's way too soon and I think you know that. Trust me when the time is right you won't need my permission, but you'll have it anyway." As much as he hated to admit it, Mr. Jones was right—it would have been too much too fast. He would be happy with her in the moment and in this moment he knew he loved her with his whole heart. The change of scenery reminded him of the time he spent with his grandparents. At his lowest point they nursed him back to health. And he needed to be strong for his son. Now that they were planning on driving through Memphis to spend some time with them, he wanted to show his grandparents how much his life had changed. He wanted to thank them for helping him become a better man and father. Mercedes smiled at Sam's giddiness. Even 10 hours in a car with a baby and having to make 7 rest stops to change diapers, feed Gabe and recharge couldn't dampen his mood.

They arrived at Sam's grandparents at 10:30. Gabe was wide awake playing with his toes in his carrier. Mercedes was a little anxious. She didn't know how they would feel about her being here or whether they blamed her for Sam moving back home. She tried to ignore the nervous butterflies in her stomach and focus on her surroundings. Their farm was huge. They had an expansive yard and their impressive acreage would have encompassed 2 city blocks. She could see why Sam loved it out here. Sensing her trepidation, Sam laced their hands together. All of her nervousness melted away the more time she spent with them. Grandma and Grandpa Evans were sweet and welcoming. Grandpa Evans sang some of his favorite songs and played his guitar. He entertained the young couple with jokes and a few stories that made Sam's cheeks turn bright crimson. They brought in Sam's guitar and the two had an impromptu jam session. Mercedes could see where Mr. Evans and Sam got their good hearts. She only hoped her soon took after his father in that department. Gabe hadn't been still since he got there. He was passed around and fussed over by his great grandparents. They spent a few hours talking and singing before adjourning for the night. Mercedes and Sam still had for the second leg of their trip to complete.

Getting up early Sam wanted to spend some time at the stables. He went over and greeted his favorite horse, Lightning. The black horse was happy to see him, nuzzling his neck as Sam fed him a carrot. He got in a quick ride before he found his grandmother feeding the chickens. "I can do that for you." Grandma Evans whole face lit up at the sight of her grandson. "Hey Junebug." She walked over to him and grabbed his cheeks in her frail hands. "You look good. You look happy. I'm so proud of you for turning your life around."

"I didn't do it for myself."

"I know. That Mercedes is one special girl."

Sam couldn't help the dopey smile that he wore. It always happened when he thought of his girl. "Yeah," he replied dreamily. "She sure is."

"I can already tell she makes you happy. I want you to give her this." She put her hands in her pocket and gave Sam the gold and black encrusted locket that belonged to her mother. Sam was honored she gave him the locket. It was in their family for hundreds of years and the wearer always had an epic love story. His grandmother got the locket from her mom after she found a chest full of love letters in her room from her long distance boyfriend. He had recently moved because his family couldn't afford their mortgage and he promised he would come back for her. He did and she ended up marrying the love of her life. When he heard the story he always wanted a love like that. One that was strong, patient and able to withstand whatever life threw at it. He knew in Mercedes he found that love and it made him overjoyed to see his grandmother recognize it too. Holding it close he offered his grandmother his arm and they walked to the house together.

They left after an impossibly large country breakfast and millions of pictures. Sam promised they would be back to visit soon and Mercedes promised to call them at least once a week.

Mercedes drove the second part of the drive which meant Sam was on Gabe watch. His son loved being in the car. The endless stretch of highway made him sleepy and he would easily be out for hours. He forgot Mercedes was a bit of a lead-foot and sounded every bit the protective parent when he repeatedly asked her to follow the speed limit. After listening to Sam's backseat driving for hours, Mercedes was more than happy to be in Houston.

They finally made it, safe and sound in their new apartment. Sam and Mercedes instantly fell in love with the place. Cherry hardwood floors, stainless steel appliances, marble countertops a washer dryer combo and a huge window overlooking downtown Houston were some of the many accoutrements the luxury apartment offered. There was also a gym downstairs, a spa, dry cleaners and best of all, shuttle service to their campuses and downtown attractions. Mercedes could definitely get used to living like this. She was so excited the management allowed for renovations because she had a plan in mind for Gabe's room. She opened the door to his room, where a surprise awaited. The room was already decorated, the new nursery echoing her plans to a T—right down to the racecar border on the dove gray walls. She didn't know how Sam did it or when he found the time but he somehow managed to create her dream nursery for Gabe. Maybe the magazine cutouts she not so subtly left around motivated him to surprise her with this. She kept surveying the room, running her fingers along the changing table. On top of the mahogany table was a basket full of baby necessities. Glancing down she saw a little note attached to one of the bottles in the basket. It read:  _Welcome to the neighborhood! Your friends at Perry and Sons Realty Co._  Mercedes smiled at the gesture until she read the smaller print underneath the company's logo 'a subsidiary of Smythe real estate.' She knew exactly where it all came from— _Baz._


	24. Missed Meetings

2 months later

Morning brought the sun peeking through their bedroom window. Mercedes turned around and felt the cold spot Sam used to keep warm. Burying her face in his pillow she let his scent waft into her nose. Sighing loudly, she pushed herself out of bed and went to check on Gabe.

Since they arrived in Houston Sam and Mercedes ran like a well-oiled machine waking up together, meeting at lunch to spend time with Gabe at day care, Scheduling courses and work schedules around each other so Gabe would always be taken care of, and carving time to spend a couple of hours together a day. Although their relationship wasn't new, with all that it endured both were fiercely protective of it. But come October their whole dynamic changed. They saw each other less and less and even came to visit Gabe independently of each other. With midterms and Sam adding an extra shift to his work schedule their relationship was tenuous at best. Every day that passed had Mercedes and Sam looking less like a couple and more like roommates who happened to be single parents.

_They were losing sight of each other._

As Mercedes got Gabe ready for the day she began reflecting on how they got to this place. Maybe she was asking too much of him too soon. He was only her boyfriend after all but they interacted like a married couple. At first, she thought this was endearing, a testament to their lifelong bond, but what if Sam saw it as suffocating? What if he was looking for an out? She had a few months to herself last year. It was a time when she could be selfish and single. It was a time when she lived on her own. Sam never had that and with Gabe, he never would. Since the time he was a child, Sam was always the father figure, the provider. Maybe this was his time to be selfish and learn who he was. Maybe Sam felt her and Gabe were holding him back. She couldn't have this conversation with him so she was reduced to taking to herself--which led to assuming the worst. And the worst was where her mind went. Always.

_They weren't communicating_

Tired of the endless cycles of passing each other without addressing their rift, she wrote Sam a note and placed it on the nightstand on his side of the bed. They used to write little notes to each other filled with words of love or encouragement. Now they were lucky if they could string together two words to say to each other. Taking out her old stationery she took the time to write a note to Sam.

_Hulk,_

_Hope your classes are going well and you aced your midterms. I'd love to hear about them. I miss you. So much. Can we meet at 4 at the coffee place between our campuses? Can't wait to see you._

_Love Always,_

_Mercedes_

She sealed the note with his name on it and placed it near the lamp. Just the prospect of talking with him today was making her excited. Sam usually came home between work and classes to take a nap. She knew he would see the note and they could catch up with each other. She knew the small gesture wouldn't instantly fix everything but it was a start.

_They were growing apart_

Mercedes ambled through her day excited for her coffee break with Sam. When she left after spending time with Gabe, he sat in his crib and he held one of the railings. He scrunched up his other little hand and waved goodbye as Mercedes mimicked the action. Her little boy always made everything better, put everything into focus. She tried to quiet the nagging voice inside her head telling her to prepare for her family to be reduced by one. But the quiet voice was getting progressively louder and louder. Soon it was screaming that she prepare to raise Gabe alone. Subconsciously she began distancing herself from Sam, which was rather easy given their lack of communication. She was trying to compartmentalize her feelings so if they didn't work out she could handle it. Before she couldn't handle it because she was surprised, but now she was ready. He wouldn't be able to break her again.

Sam was tired. After working the graveyard shift he went home, slept for a few hours, spent time with Gabe and went straight to the library to study for his midterm in Biology. This semester was kicking his ass and he was trying to be everything to everyone. He always woke an hour early and spent time with Gabe before he had to leave. He made sure he found more opportunities for work so he pulled his weight. Somehow he let everything become more important than them. But every morning he took five minutes to look at the person lying next to him. Being near her always made him feel at ease. Even without talking to her, just being in her presence was enough for him to carry on. It had been a while since they truly talked. They usually cuddled but lately, she'd taken to studying before falling asleep and when he came home there would be books, notes, highlighters and 3x5 cards sprawled over the bed. There were so many times he wanted to wake her, to tell her about his day or to hear about hers but she was doing a million things and she needed her rest. Little did he know she needed him more.

He got back from working his graveyard shift and every bone in his body ached. He didn't even bother to take off his shoes. Looking at the enticing bed he fell fast asleep, never noticing the pretty card with his named written on it beside his nightstand. He woke up 15 minutes too late and rushed to the library to study for his midterm.

Sam knew he was going to fail. He handed in his midterm and tried to get as far away from class as possible but he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to find Santos, a friend who he was in a few classes with, rubbing his temples dramatically.

"There's no way that woman is human. That exam was just EVIL!"

"I can't afford to take this class again," Sam lamented. He already caused his and Mercedes' plans to derail once. If failing this exam affects his ability to transfer to the University of Houston and they have to change plans for him again he would feel even more worthless.

"You and me both man." Santos had his own situation going on. He was a teen parent who dropped out of high school to provide for his daughter. Working night and day at a factory making next to nothing wasn't working. Now in his early 20s, he took the initiative and got his GED before enrolling in college to become an electrician. He got to spend more time with his daughter, Lilliana and was working towards something that would improve her future.

"We gotta do better."

"You're right, how about we study at my place after I pick up Lily from daycare? Give me an hour."

"I'll see you there." Sam turned his attention to seeing his son. Gabe giggled when he saw his father and Sam immediately felt the stress lifting. "Hey, Buddy." He held Gabe close and told him about his day. "I miss your mom. I'm trying my best but I know she can do better. I just can't stand disappointing her." Gabe began babbling and Sam felt like his son was trying to carry a conversation. "Alright bud, I got to go study before work tonight. Your mom should be here soon to pick you up. Be good. I'll see you in the morning." He kissed Gabe and turned to walk away. Looking back he saw his son waving goodbye. Clutching one hand over his heart he used the other to wave back. Gabe was growing and changing so quickly. He was almost eight months and soon he would be walking and talking. He was this little miracle that was born in the middle of the darkest time in Sam's life. He owed it to his son and the woman he loved to be better.

She got to the coffee shop hoping against hope things would work out. That this would be the first of many meetings here and this would be the place they reconnected and made their relationship a priority. She waited. And waited. The last thing she wanted was to leave before he got back but she had 10 minutes before she had to pick up Gabe. Fiddling with her coffee while staring at his she reached into her back pocket and pulled out Dwight's note. Ever since the elder Evans gave it to her before they left she always read it when she felt distressed or sad. Lately, she was reading it twice a day. In his usual Dwight way, he always lifted her spirits and encouraged her to fight for herself. But her favorite lines of his note were the last lines:  _Little girl I could never thank you enough for saving my son's life. You deserve every good thing in the world and I know you're going to get it. I firmly believe you are going to make the world better. I can't wait to see all the good you do._ She smiled after reading it and tucked it back in its safe place. She wanted to do good in the world but more than anything she wanted to do that good for Gabe with Sam by her side.

She thought they could fight anything but everything was disintegrating so fast it was hard to pinpoint the source. What's worse is she was tired of trying, of fighting the inevitable. Standing up to leave she threw her cup of coffee away and gave his, along with the blueberry muffin she got for him, to a homeless man who was asking for change outside.

Rushing to get Gabe she literally ran into someone.

"Sorry," she muttered, ready to be on her way when a familiar voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Cedes?"

"Baz?" She shouldn't have been shocked to see him. She knew he was planning to come here but she didn't know how to approach him. Right now, above all else, she needed her friend but he made it crystal clear the last time they saw each other they were no longer friends.

They stared at each other for a beat before blurting out simultaneously "sorry!"

They started talking over each other and then laughed nervously before falling into silence again.

"I'm so sorry Cedes. I was such an ass the last time we spoke and I deserved everything you said. I hope you can forgive me because I really miss my friend."

She looked up at him and saw the sincerity in his eyes. Reaching slightly, she wrapped him in a warm hug, not even realizing she was crying. "I miss you too Baz. I'm so sorry for leading you on. It was never intentional."

They began walking next to each other catching up on each other's lives. He told her about his first semester and how much he loved engineering. She thanked Baz for the baby gift and the apartment but told him he didn't need to make grand gestures to make things right. He told her he had to get her the gifts because his guilt was eating him up inside and he apologized for trying to come between her and Sam. They asked about their families and he told her about his new girlfriend, Chloe.

"She's incredible Cedes, you would love her."

"I can't wait to meet her."

"Maybe you can bring Sam along. It could be a double date?" Baz didn't miss the contrived smile on her face or the sigh that immediately followed. He knew something was going on between Sam and Mercedes but he also knew it wasn't his place to say anything. He didn't want to cast any awkwardness onto their reunion. Apprehensively he smiled changing the subject. "How's Gabe?"

Her face lit up at the mention of her son. "Gabe is  _amazing_. He learned how to wave the other day and I know pretty soon he'll be talking."

"That's great. It's so weird that he's here, you know? Can I go see him?"

She gave him a tight-lipped smile and he knew exactly what the look was for. "I'm sorry Baz. I don't think Sam would be comfortable with that."

He nodded in understanding. "I get it Cedes, I was horrible to Sam and I don't blame him for not trusting me. I would like to make amends."

"I can't believe you remembered everything I wanted for Gabe's nursery. He loves it by the way. My number hasn't changed. We should hang out."

"We will," he asserted. As they stopped in front of the campus' Child Development Center they hugged one final time before parting ways, her inside to get Gabe and him to class.

When she went inside the student workers greeted her and let her know she just missed Sam by 15 minutes. Figures _._  It always seemed they were just missing each other.

_They were headed for disaster_

Sam woke early the next morning and stared at Mercedes sleeping peacefully. She still had her glasses on from the night before and she clutched a highlighter in her hand. If this was what midterms were like, how were they supposed to make it through finals? Thankfully midterms were almost over and things would go back to normal. He hoped. He looked at her bare neck and mused how beautiful his grandmother's necklace would look around it. Sam had the evening all planned out. He asked someone to cover his shift so he could have a romantic dinner with Mercedes. Hardly a cook, he asked Santos to help him decide what to make. His friend suggested Fettuccini Alfredo—a simple dish that could look fancy if prepared right. They were going to spend the night dancing and catching up then he was going to present her with the necklace. Leaving their bed always left a little ache in his heart but he knew by the end of the night they would be back on track. Searching for his wallet on his nightstand he felt the note asking him to meet her at the coffee shop today at 4 _,_ the note that he was supposed to see yesterday _. I miss you too Jellybean._

Sam rushed through classes excited about spending time with Mercedes. He missed being at home with his family but had to constantly remind himself that everything he did was for them. Internally he knew he was lying to himself, that they had more than enough to survive but his pride wouldn't let Mercedes take care of him. He wasn't hurt or sick. He was determined everything would be 50/50 even if it killed him or in his case their relationship. When 4pm came he sat at one of the tables by the window with her favorite coffee and a blueberry muffin they could split.

It wasn't like Mercedes to be late. But she was 15 minutes late. He went to text her but realized he didn't have his phone.  _Damn_. He must have left it on the charger again. Carding a hand through his hair he looked out the window drinking his coffee until he saw someone approach his table. Looking up he saw the brunette counselor from Wilke.

"Nattie?"

"Sam-Bam." She went over and gave him a hug, which he happily returned. Over the past year, his friendships dwindled. It was nice to not focus on plans or problems and just have fun. He couldn't remember the last time he had fun with Mercedes. Nattie was fun. When he went to Wilke he and Natalie were really close. They spent nights talking about their dreams—hers was to be a famous musician and his was being the best father and boyfriend he could be.

"I can't believe you're here. Are you at U of H too?"

He put his head down slightly at her question. He was ashamed that he had to go to the technical college down the street. "No I'm not, but Mercedes is."

"Well, where are you? I'm sure U of H is kicking themselves for not admitting you." Natalie knew he was excited to be a father but there seemed to be a hidden sadness in his eyes. Like he felt he had to sacrifice his happiness for his family. He was so willing to fall on the sword he didn't seem to realize that he didn't need to. The boy seemed to think he was being noble but in reality, he was being stupid.

Skillfully avoiding her question he asked how her classes were. She answered and added, "You ain't slick Sam-Bam. I know what you did back there."

"What are you talking about," he asked feigning ignorance.

"Fine, we can pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. Besides, we both know you couldn't keep up with me anyway." She tossed her curly hair over her shoulder in a way that reminded him of Rachel Berry the only difference was he could see the playful glint in her eye. He laughed.

"Trust me Nattie I know you'd slit my throat if we ever competed."

"This is true." Grabbing his coffee she took a sip. Natalie wasn't big on boundaries. Sam watched her shaking his head with a smile on his face. She was loud and cocky but he could tell she really cared. Watching her grab another sip of his coffee he asked, "do you want me to buy you one?" She shrugged. "Why when I could have yours?" He shook his head smiled again. He looked up when he heard someone clear their throat. Furrowing her eyebrows Mercedes asked, "hey Sam, what are you doing here?"

Class was canceled and instead of spending that time with Gabe she walked past the Child Development Center and walked towards the coffee shop she went to yesterday. It was a completely selfish move and she felt horrible about it, but just for today, she was going to take the childcare workers at the center's advice and take some time for herself. They even joked that they should pay her as an employee since between her and Sam, Gabe was never left without their company for more than a few hours.

She went to the counter and ordered a pumpkin spice latte, which was soon becoming her favorite drink. Books and flash cards firmly in hand, she planned on studying for her final midterm so she could be wide awake when Sam came home. They needed to talk. They needed to let everything out. She really missed him and she needed to hear from his mouth if he wanted out before she became more invested. Grabbing her drink she stilled when she heard the sound of laughter coming from a table near the window. It was Sam's laughter. She would recognize it anywhere. It was the sound that made her heart swell and the sound she missed these past few weeks. Walking closer to the table she saw a tall skinny brunette sitting beside Sam. She wasn't jealous. Just intrigued. Oh, who the hell was she kidding, she was jealous. Her little legs carried her over to the table before she had time to think of what to say. She was surprised that she managed to ask, "hey Sam, what are you doing here?" Her eyes darted between Sam and his companion.

His face lit up when he saw her. "Hey Mercedes." He stood to give her a hug and by the way she tensed he could tell she didn't like what she walked in on. Trying to explain that it wasn't what it looked liked he introduced his friend to her. "This is Natalie. We were instructors at Wilke together."

Never one to be rude, especially to someone she just met Mercedes shook the slender girl's hand. "Nice to meet you."

Trying to cut the tension he added, "She's a music major too. Y'all might have classes together."

Looking between Sam and Mercedes Natalie realized it may be best if she left. Taking the rest of Sam's drink she stood up. "Well it was really nice to meet you Mercedes. I've heard so much about you. Maybe I'll see you around?" Lifting his drink she looked to Sam. "Thanks for the free coffee sucker. Catch you later Sam-Bam."

Mercedes watched the girl walk away while Sam stared at Mercedes' face intently. Arching an eyebrow she asked, "Sam-Bam?"

"It's just a little nickname the kids gave me at camp." Not wanting to waste time arguing he looked her up and down. "You look gorgeous jellybean." He bent down to give her a kiss only to be rejected when she moved her head away from his lips at the last moment.

Rolling her eyes and crossing her arms she countered. "I gotta go. I'm going to be late getting Gabe."

Slipping his hand in hers he walked beside her. "I'll go with you." Happy that she didn't move her hand away he gently squeezed it. "I really missed you."

She was quiet, distant. The whole way home and after setting Gabe down she moved around the apartment in silence. This is not how tonight was supposed to turn out. She was supposed to be laughing and speaking not silent and scowling _._

"Mercedes it wasn't how it looked. I ran into her waiting for you. I didn't plan to meet her there."

"Why were you waiting for me? We were supposed to meet yesterday! I waited for you yesterday!"

"But the note said today."

"I wrote that note yesterday. It was supposed to be for yesterday." She chuckled humorlessly. They couldn't get anything right lately.

She walked into their bedroom and began taking off her shoes. He followed her and sat on the bed.

They remained silent for a moment before she spoke up, her insecurities no longer containable." What's going on with us? We're so out of sync lately. Are you having second thoughts about our relationship? Is it Gabe? Do you regret me having him?"

He was taken aback by her questions. He knew they hit a rough patch but he had no plans to break up with her and Gabe was his world. "No, how could you even think that?"

"I don't know! Maybe because you've been different since I had him. I don't want you to regret anything and I won't hold anything against you if you want to back out."

Sam spoke in a low dangerous tone. "Gabe is my son too. Where in the hell do you get off telling me not to be in my son's life?

"So the problem isn't Gabe. That just leaves me." She looked at Sam who looked down at the floor. Pushing her lips into her mouth she nodded in bitter understanding.

The silence in the room was deafening as Sam struggled to say something, anything that would alleviate the situation. But nothing came to mind cause loathed as he was to admit it, she was right. It had everything to do with her. Well, it had everything to do with his inferiority to her.

Mercedes laughed mirthlessly refusing to shed a tear for the stranger standing in front of her. "Maybe we're working too hard and trying to piece together something that's already broken." She smiled even though she was heartbroken. "I want you to be happy. Are you happy Sam? Because I haven't seen you smile like you smiled with that girl in weeks."

He felt guilty. He hadn't meant to make her feel bad or that she wasn't enough. Natalie was a friend from a simpler time. A time when all he knew was he loved Mercedes and he loved being a father. A time when it didn't matter how much money she had or what school she was going to. Now there were new pressures, new insecurities and obligations that were threatening to swallow him whole. "Why is it always so easy for you to walk away? We're not breaking up. I've just had a lot on my mind. We're out on our own, with a child and going to school. It's a lot."

Mercedes nodded. She could always hear what he wasn't saying. "You mean it's a lot of pressure?" The realization hit her like a ton of bricks: being around her was making him uncomfortable; her love was stressing him out. Backing away slowly she continued. "Coming home to me shouldn't make you feel that way. You're supposed to be relieved. This is supposed to be our safe place. I'm supposed to help alleviate the stresses you feel from outside. The last thing you should feel is pressured. Maybe this isn't your home. Maybe this isn't where you belong."

"But I love you. I need you. I know we can make this work."

She smiled and placed a hand on his cheek. gently caressing it with her thumb. "I love you too. But that's never been our problem." She dropped her hand suddenly, feeling like she didn't have the right to touch him. Like he wasn't hers. "It's not just us anymore. I need you to be 100% sure and you're not. I can't risk my heart or my son's stability on someone who's not quite sure." Grabbing a pillow and blanket she made her way to the couch wiping tears before they could fall.


	25. The Choice

Sam woke up stiff. He had shooting pains running up and down his back and he felt cold and empty. Stirring for a minute he gasped when he felt someone jumping up and down on his chest, winding him. Forcing himself to open one eye he smiled when he saw the toothy grin and excited eyes of four year old Lilliana Rodriguez. "Are you up Mr. Sam? I drew you a picture." The little girl excitedly shoved a piece of paper with every color from her crayon box spewed on it in Sam's face. He gave the little girl a kiss on her cheek and thanked her, watching her face scrunch up in disgust. "Eww Mr. Sam, you stink." He took that as his cue to wash his face and brush his teeth. Sitting the girl down he stretched and made his way to the bathroom.

Sleeping on his friend's couch was making Sam ache. Not waking up with Mercedes was making Sam ache. This whole situation was messed up and he had no idea how it got so bad. He remembered watching her walk out of the bedroom to sleep on the couch. They argued the next morning and before he knew it, his bags were packed and he was staying with Santos. That was months ago and it wasn't getting better. Every time they were in the same space they let that resentment build and ended up snapping at each other. Now they were due back home for the holidays and their parents had no idea they were living separate lives. Groaning he splashed water on his face after brushing his teeth. How could he let this happen? How could he let his pride destroy his life? All he knew was he was not looking forward to this trip home.

Sitting at the table Sam watched Santos slide his breakfast to him. Despite feeling like crap Santos made him feel welcome and invited him to stay with his family. Sam was eternally grateful to his new friend.

"When are you getting Gabe?"

"I told Mercedes I'll be there in 30 minutes."

Santos smiled. He could see how much his friend loved Mercedes, even if they were both too prideful and stubborn to work their shit out. Never one for subtlety or tact he asked point blank, "No offense man, but you look horrible. When are you going to get back together with your girl?"

Violently spearing his food Sam turned to his friend. "I'm working on it."

"When me and Rosa had Lily we fought nonstop. She was mad at me for not being there for our daughter. I was young, stupid and selfish as hell. At least you are trying to be there for your son. It took me a long time to get to where you are."

"But what should I do?"

"My advice: Beg her to take you back. Sit down and talk to each other and fix your problems. The longer you wait the further she slips away."

Sam thanked his friend and cleaned his plate. Grabbing his coat he made plans to meet at Walmart to buy everyone's Christmas gifts before leaving to get Gabe.

He drove over to Mercedes' (it felt weird and wrong to call it that) apartment to pick up Gabe and was ready to knock but stopped when he saw them through the window. Mercedes was smiling with her head on someone's shoulder as Gabe began to walk over to his mother. He felt like an outsider intruding on his own family. Sam was angry that he wasn't around for the milestones, bitterly wondering what else he may have missed. As he stood there watching he thought of how Zack wormed his way into their lives. The boy started out as a partner on a project in Mercedes' music composition class. Mercedes was so focused on burying her broken heart she didn't realize he was interested. Then one fateful night after another epic fight, which left Sam red- faced and teary eyed and Mercedes trembling and sobbing, Zach showed up to check on his new friend. The caramel skinned basketball player with wild black curls and big brown eyes provided a shoulder for Mercedes to cry on and their relationship grew. Knocking on the door Sam sighed at what had become of him and Mercedes. They were supposed to have some incredible bond, now they barely tolerated each other. Why was it so easy for everything to just implode? Knocking on the door he heard commotion on the other side and his heart sank when he heard his son's first word. Gabe was walking towards Zack holding out his hands and Sam heard his son distinctively call the athlete "dada". This was all wrong. None of it made any sense. Trying not to look crestfallen when Mercedes eventually opened the door he tried to soldier on and feign indifference. He watched as his son held on to the man wearing the University of Houston basketball hoodie, giggling and playing with the drawstrings. Just another reminder of what Sam was unable to accomplish. Sensing the awkwardness, Zack handed Gabe over to his father. Sam possessively held his son and watched as his competition whispered something in Mercedes' ear and left.

Scowling Sam turned to his ex-girlfriend. "I don't want him around my son."

"Sam, he's just a friend." She invited him in and closed the door.

Sam laughed, his mind instantly going back to Baz. "I've seen how well you treat your  _friends_."

Massaging her temples to stave off the headache this conversation would undoubtedly cause, Mercedes took a deep cleansing breath. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Raising his voice and bouncing a fidgety Gabe in his arms he answered. "It means you treat all of your friends better than your boyfriends. Hell maybe if I was your friend instead of your boyfriend we would have lasted."

Snatching Gabe from his father she placed him in his walker. "I really don't understand why you're making this so hard Sam. Get over yourself. You packed a bag and you left. Sorry I didn't kiss your ass and beg you to stay."

Both were so engrossed with their shouting match that they failed to notice Gabe moving his walker from side to side, threatening to topple it over.

"Yeah, and you found someone else to take care of you before my side of the bed got cold. Face it, you always have someone ready to take care of you. For someone who talks about being an independent woman, you sure like to latch on to  _everyone_. You always expected me to fail. I never had a chance."

Was he calling her needy? The same lovesick boy who clung to every girl who looked at him? She answered in an icy tone. "Go to Hell Sam."

She always knew what to say to make him furious. She pushed all the right buttons and always went too far. They pulled no punches and weren't afraid to go for the jugular. They were both skilled at getting the best of each other. Before he could respond they heard a crash followed by Gabe's high-pitched wail. Turning they found the baby on the ground, his walker apparently tipped over during their fight. Taking action they ran over to their son. Mercedes scooped him up in her arms and rocked him while Sam hovered and righted the walker.

"My baby." Mercedes kissed and inspected Gabe to make sure he wasn't bleeding or didn't have any broken bones. To their relief, he appeared to be okay. He began to whimper slightly as she soothingly rubbed the boy's back and handed him over to Sam.

The only thing they agreed on was Gabe and now they let their anger interfere with their son's safety. Mercedes had had enough. "We can't keep doing this. If you want to spend time with Gabe we'll meet in a public place. Maybe we should go to court and work out some joint custody agreement. Either way, something has to change. This is toxic and unhealthy and I'm ending it."

Sam had barely seen his son in a week. His and Mercedes' schedules kept overlapping and he barely had enough time to go to class. He would visit Gabe at the child development center during his breaks, but their time was always cut short as he was still trying to get a handle on juggling two jobs and a full roster. He missed everything about Mercedes. The diminutive girl had been his anchor and without her, he felt aimless and purposeless. He missed his family. He missed his heart. Driving to Lima gave him time to reflect. He knew it was wrong but he let the little feeling of inferiority grow and morph into something else entirely. Left unchecked it became this leviathan of self-doubt, guilt, and resentment that seemed too big to conquer. He was just going to have to get over it. Sam wouldn't spend another day without her. He knew that things wouldn't be easy and they had a lot of issues to work out but they were just going to have to figure it out.

When his parents asked why he wasn't flying in with Mercedes and Gabe he told them he had a last minute test to take and would have to arrive later. He was able to field their suspicion forcing himself to abstain from giving Mercedes longing looks. During dinner, the shit hit the fan. Stevie was telling Mercedes all about school and Stacy was playing with her nephew. For some reason, the little girl thought Gabe was a doll and Gabe ate up all the attention he got. The conversation was light and congenial but the parents noticed the undeniable tension between their children. They were discussing Gabe turning one and making plans for his birthday while Mercedes was distracted with her phone and Sam sulked. The teen father smiled at his whole family together around the table but frowned slightly when he saw someone was pulling Mercedes' attention away. Audrey and Mary were asking Sam about school and he inadvertently drowned them out, focusing only on Mercedes' smile and that damn phone. Every few minutes she would smile and respond to a text. The longer she did this the more anger built in Sam. He began to twitch his leg in an effort to calm down. When she failed to suppress a giggle he stood up. Throwing down his napkin he left the room in a huff. Their parents exchanged glances at Sam's behavior. Carl wondered aloud, "What is wrong with that boy?" They all turned to Mercedes for an answer. Politely excusing herself she followed Sam into the kitchen. In a harsh whisper, she asked: "What the hell was that? I thought we weren't going to do this here. We agreed to be mature about this." He ignored her and continued to wash the dishes, needing to do something to clear his mind. "What was  _that_? Are you dating that guy?"

"Why does it matter? We're not together. I'm just doing what you wanted."

Sam sighed. This whole thing was confusing. By being too ashamed to let her know what he wanted and too embarrassed to let her know how he felt he succeeded in doing the very thing he tried to avoid. "I know I'm going about this all wrong but I don't want to be with anyone else. I don't want you to be with anyone else. I want us to work. Don't you miss us?"

She scoffed. Grabbing the glass he was washing she looked down at the food stain and focused on scrubbing it clean. "Are you kidding me with this?  _Now_  you want us to work?  _Now_  you miss us? Every time I try to move on you decide you want me? This is crazy Sam. Let's work on being friends, we were better as friends. I can't keep doing this."

He watched as she kept scrubbing the same spot on the glass she had a death grip on. She was tired of going through the same thing with this man over and over again. Their relationship became this endless cycle of love, resentment, and separation.

"I can't let you go. You're a part of me—the best part of me. I was ashamed that I couldn't measure up so I shrank away from you. But it wasn't because I didn't love you or didn't want to be with you. It's because I don't deserve you." He watched as she focused on cleaning that same glass and sighed. Speaking softly he pleaded, "Please say something Jellybean."

Startled Mercedes grip on the glass loosened and she accidentally dropped it. Broken pieces and glass shards fell on the kitchen floor next to the sink. The same sink where her water broke. The same sink where she contemplated starting her new family with Sam what seemed like a million years ago.

Concerned for her safety he gently pushed her out of the way. "Let me take care of it. I'll clean it up. I can fix this."

Knowing he was talking about more than a broken glass she responded with, "It's broken, it can't be fixed." Bending down to clean it up she flinched when she accidentally cut herself.

Dwight walked it after being chosen to check on the tumultuous duo (he literally drew the short straw). Seeing the blood, he swiftly wrapped Mercedes' hand while he looked between an unusually quiet Sam and Mercedes. "Anyone going to tell me what I walked in on?" Mercedes spoke first. "It was nothing. We were trying to fix something that broke long ago."

Excusing herself, she stood outside needing the solace and clarity the harsh cold provided.

Dwight stood next to his stoic son who was still trying to clean the floor. "You got all the glass up. Come over here and talk to me."

Sam looked up at his father. "Maybe I didn't and there's still some on the floor. I don't want her to get hurt again."

Dwight didn't know what was going on but from the looks of things, it was pretty bad. He was okay with Sam going to Houston and living with Mercedes because he thought they were stable. Now they looked anything but stable and he was concerned for his grandson. "Just because you two have this special connection doesn't mean you don't have to put your relationship first. Hell, if anything it means you have to fight harder since you've seen how this connection can both heal and destroy you. Go to her before it's too late. From the looks of things it may already be." He smiled at his father and heeded his advice. Taking a deep breath he stood and placed his hand on the sliding door, anxious about the next step they would take.

* * *

 

He jolted out of his sleep with his heart racing, grateful to be laying on their comfortable plush mattress and not the prickly springs of Santos' sofa. Dr. Bowman's words reverberated in his mind: " _In your life you have choices; choices that carry consequences. You can choose to have things remain as they are or you can choose to fight for a better outcome. I hope you choose to fight_." Taking a deep breath and glancing at his alarm clock he was relieved it was all just a dream; a horrible, twisted, vivid dream, but a dream nonetheless. They had another chance. He wasn't going to let things go downhill. Not when he needed Mercedes by his side.

Walking out into the living room he saw Mercedes tossing and turning. Without warning he scooped the girl up, his eyes professing the myriad of apologies his mouth failed to conjure. Her eyes, soft and forgiving, were doing the same and by the time Sam gently laid her down in their bed they had apologized and declared their love for each other a thousand times wordlessly.

In the dark with the moonlight shining into their bedroom they laid facing each other, his hand on her heart and her head on his chest mirroring the incubator pose she remembered seeing in the old  _Chronicler_  article. It was the most comfortable position for the duo and Mercedes always felt closer to Sam when she lay on his chest and could hear his heartbeat. She swore being close to him could cure any ailment and fix every broken thing. She hoped it would fix whatever broke between them.

They sat in silence, just holding each other, neither wanting to ruin the moment, but both knowing too many things were left unsaid.

"Sam, what's happened to us?" Her soft whisper cut through the silence in the room.

He didn't know how to answer her so he sat trying to formulate a response. After a few minutes, he was still silent.

Frustrated, Mercedes made moved to go back to sleep on the couch. "I'll go check on Gabe." She swung the door open, the harsh creaking of the movement interrupting the comfortable peace that previously fell.

He leaped out of bed already knowing what would happen if he let her walk away. He grabbed her hand on the door and with his other hand closed it shut.

Turning towards her and straining to keep his voice calm he spoke. "Stop running away from me. Stop using our son as an excuse to leave."

He was right. She knew he was right. Even if it was unconsciously done, she was using her son to shield herself from getting hurt. Knowing that made her feel like the worst mother in the world. But this thing didn't collapse solely because of her fears and she needed Sam to own up to his part so they could begin to fix it. Moving her hand from his grasp she walked towards the bed. "Stop shutting me out. Stop letting your insecurities dictate your future. "

She was right. He knew she was right. All his insecurities were driving a deeper wedge between the two. He knew on some level he blamed her for his failures, however irrational his logic was. He also knew he couldn't let his insecurities around not being good enough interfere in their relationship. It was just so hard when she made him want to be better and he felt like he was constantly missing the mark. Like he was always letting her down and would never be the man she deserved.

Mercedes looked at him as he stood silently. Silence was their enemy. Lack of communication was their downfall. She decided she was going to let everything out. Used to being the one to run, no one would be able to say she didn't fight to make this relationship work. "You have to know I think the world of you but I can't make you see how amazing you are. That's something you have to see for yourself."

"I just couldn't bear the thought of disappointing you."

"You could never disappoint me. All I want is for you to be happy. Follow your passion and I'll stand beside you always."

Sam beamed, images from his nightmare pushed out of his mind. "I know it's really stupid and really naïve to believe you can find the love of your life in high school but I have. Mercedes Jones, you are it for me. I love you. I can't function without you and I don't want to."

"You're it for me too. These past couple of weeks have been torture. I miss you so much. It hurt more that you weren't physically far away, knowing you chose to distance yourself from me, because I know I can't be without you."

Both a little reassured they laughed when they blurted out "I missed this" at the same time.

That opened up the floodgates and they began talking. Once they began talking, they didn't stop. They talked about their fears and insecurities, their goals and dreams and their courses and jobs. They talked about feeling homesick and missing their families, and they talked about the pressures of being working college students and parents. She told him about running into Baz the other day and asked if he would be comfortable if she tried to rekindle their friendship. They didn't run out of topics to discuss and after talking until the wee hours of the morning they fell into a fitful, if not short, sleep with Mercedes cradled in Sam's arms.

Mercedes woke up feeling lighter than she had in a long time. She looked down and smiled at Sam's tight grip on her waist. Turning to face him she kissed his nose and watched as his eyes fluttered open. She smiled at him shyly, weaving their hands together.

He stared at her adoringly and watched as she placed her small hand on his heart.

He needed to kiss her. It had been too long. He cradled his hands on her face holding her as if one jarring movement would wake him from this dream. He threw all his emotion behind the kiss, ravishing her tongue and intertwining it with his own. He needed her to feel how much he cherished her. He needed her to feel his apology and his promise of forever. He needed her to feel his love and devotion. And she had. With every swipe of his tongue or nip of his teeth, she felt his love poured into that kiss. With every groan and shudder she felt his intentions and affection radiate through her body. This is how it was supposed to be. This is what they were missing and what they promised they would never lose sight of again.


	26. The Story of Us

5 Years Later

Sam woke up and kept his eyes closed, reveling in the fact that he was lying beside Mercedes. He knew as soon as he opened his eyes his day would begin and he just wanted the solace that came with being near his girlfriend. Unfortunately for him Mercedes had other plans. Straddling him she leaned closer whispering in his ear in a syrupy tone. "Come on baby, get up." She tried to coax him awake by running her small hands down his chest but all she really did was make him want to stay in bed longer. "Come on Sam." She kept slowly rubbing her hands up and down his defined torso taking time to admire his ripped chest and abs. Leaning forward she began peppering his neck and jaw with light kisses. Frustrated that his eyes were still shut she upped the ante by ghosting her nails down his taut abs. The action caused tingles to run down his spine. She smiled victoriously, knowing she'd won the little game they were playing when he moaned. "Okay, okay I'm up." Sam finally opened his eyes and looked at his girlfriend of 6 years—she was more breathtaking every day she chose to be his. He tucked the errant curl that fell in her face behind her ear. Today was the day he was finally going to ask her to be his wife. In a lot of ways he felt they were already married. He couldn't imagine a day would come that he wouldn't want her by his side. Loving her and being Gabe's father were his greatest accomplishments. Although it killed him he heeded Mr. Jones' advice from long ago and he knew he couldn't wait any longer to make the amazing woman on top of him his wife. Gently tugging on the locket that hung around her neck he pulled her closer and kissed her thoroughly. He thought his grandmother's old necklace never looked more beautiful. Sam was happy to have these uninterrupted moments with Mercedes knowing they were few and far between.

Bursting through the door, Gabe padded over to his parents and jumped on their bed, his big mocha curls springing with every step. The amorous pair separated and turned their attention to their energetic child. "Good Morning," the excitable boy chirped with way too much energy for a Thursday morning. He sat between his parents and looked up at them with wide innocent eyes. Leaning down, Mercedes kissed his forehead. "Good morning sweetie."

Looking down Gabe rubbed a tiny hand over her belly, kissed it and whispered, "Good morning Gordon."

Mercedes rolled her eyes while Sam laughed at his son. This little boy didn't care to understand what no meant. Mercedes hated when Gabe did that. It made her feel self- conscious but she knew there was no malice behind it. There was nothing in this world Gabe wanted more than a little brother and the want intensified when Uncle Baz and Aunt Chloe had a baby girl. Monica was now one and Gabe wanted his own little baby. For months he had been talking to Mercedes' stomach, singing to it and calling it Gordon. The tenacious boy even resorted to prayer, bribery and doing chores to get what he wanted; winking at his mom and slipping dollars in her hand was a typical occurrence. He even went so far as to make them lunches with little notes attached and left texts on their phones asking them not to forget about "Gordon". The boy was relentless.

"Sweetie, there is no Gordon."

Stubbornly the little boy nodded his head. "Yes there is Mama."

Sam laughed heartily. This was definitely his son. "If there was, he wouldn't be named Gordon." He ruffled his son's soft hair.

Mercedes always wondered why he chose Gordon until he explained one day, "Like the Flash." Oh yeah, there was no doubt about it. This was Sam's son.

Gabe pouted which made the boy's already enormous mouth and big lips stand out even more than usual. His hair was now sticking up. How could they be mad when he was so adorable? Mercedes stood and took his hand. "Come on baby, let's go downstairs. You can help make breakfast."

The adorable boy lit up. "Can we have waffles?" Mercedes smiled and nodded.

Sam smiled at the idea of his family expanding. Nothing made him happier—well one thing would. With Mercedes finally out of earshot, Sam made an important call. "Is everything set for tonight?"

On the other end of the line Baz chuckled at his friend's nervousness. After Baz apologized he and Sam grew closer. The past few years they were inseparable. Sam now counted Baz and Santos as his best friends. They were currently cavorting to make Mercedes' proposal unforgettable.

"For the hundredth time, everything is set. You've got to calm down, man."

And Sam did. He trusted that Baz wanted the best for Mercedes and wouldn't steer him in the wrong direction.

"Do you think she'll like it?" Sam was nervous. His girl deserved the best and he wanted to make sure everything was in place for her to have it.

"Like it? She's going to  _love_  it. Trust me."

Sam and Baz struck a tentative friendship when he first moved to Houston but they got closer after Baz married Chloe two years ago. Sam no longer saw Baz as a threat and finally understood his motivations for pursuing Mercedes.

FLASHBACK

Magnolia Hotel, Houston Texas

April 24, 2015

Sam was uncomfortable watching the wedding-goers talking, drinking and dancing. He felt so out of place. He was standing on the roof of the renowned hotel and all he could do was stare out into the Houston skyline and count down the minutes until this thing was over. At least Mercedes was smiling and having a good time. Being here was a small price to pay to see Mercedes happy. He laughed when he saw the text she sent: 2 _0 more minutes and we're out of here_. Still looking down at his phone, he didn't even notice he wasn't alone until someone spoke. "Wow this must be killing you." Baz smiled and handed him a glass of water. Sam smiled and thanked him for the gesture. "Thank you for inviting me. It was a really nice ceremony."

"Oh come on, I know you're here because Mercedes dragged you along. But I'm happy to see you."

This piqued Sam's interest. Why was Baz going out of his way to be friendly? They were cordial at best.

"In a way, I have you to thank for all of this."

"Really," Sam asked sipping on his water.

"You know how I knew Chloe was the one?"

"How?"

"I saw the way you and Mercedes interacted and how you look at her. It's like you two speak this special language no one else knows. I've seen her heart call out to you and time and time again you answer. I used to be jealous of that, hurt that she couldn't love me that way but with Chloe I feel like we have our own heartsong. She's my Mercedes. Now I get why I couldn't come between you two and I'm really sorry for trying, but she was my dream. You can't blame me for trying to make her a reality."

"Yeah. She's amazing." Sam stared at his girlfriend who was currently dancing with Baz's father and had the same fluttering in his stomach and goofy grin as when he saw her dancing with Stevie all those years ago. She was stunning. She was his. "And so is Chloe."

Sam forgave Baz and smiled, seeing Baz sport the same goofy grin looking at his new wife. "Congratulations man."

"Thanks Sam. Now it's your turn." He patted Sam on the back and went inside to the reception to dance with his bride.

END OF FLASHBACK

"Just make sure you're in front of the restaurant by 10. I got you the private garden. She's going to be speechless."

"Thanks man." Sam opened the ring box he hid under some papers in his nightstand and smiled. "She's finally going to be my wife."

After breakfast and heading to work, Mercedes was in her office grading papers. It was strange going from student to professor but she taught great kids who were enthusiastic and ridiculously talented. Being an adjunct allowed her to give back to the university that helped shape her views and mature her talent. Between working at the community center and being an adjunct she was able to help children express themselves through music. She heard a small knock at the door and smiled at her surprise visitor. "Hi baby." Mercedes waved at her son who was wearing a butler costume. The little boy looked adorable with his tuxedo, white gloves and silver platter. She wanted to take a picture. Gabe shook his head and he had a serious look on his face. Now wasn't the time for pictures or pleasantries. He had a job to do. Looking around the boy she asked, "Where's your father?" He didn't answer her and Mercedes began to panic. How did he get here with no supervision? What the hell was going on? She heard her phone buzz and saw a new message from Sam.  _Don't worry Jellybean, I'm right around the corner. Gabe is safe._ Relieved that her son was out of harm's way her brow furrowed when he stepped forward and she saw the little white note card folded on the otherwise empty silver note was actually an invitation in fancy script to join Sam at one of the newest restaurants in town tonight. No matter what they had going on in their lives, they still put their relationship first. It was a promise they made to each other a long time ago and she was amazed they were able to uphold it. As soon as she read the note Gabe took off and ran back to his father. When the little boy left his mother's office he pulled the walkie-talkie out of his pocket and made a call to base. "Baby Bear to Hulk, Baby bear to Hulk. Mission complete."

Sam smiled on the bench outside Mercedes' building. "Good job Baby Bear. I'm on my way to get you."

Tonight was going to be perfect.

Mercedes rushed home to an empty house. After calling out to Sam and Gabe for a few minutes and looking in all the empty rooms, she took her shoes off and walked to her bedroom. There was a big black box with a gold ribbon on the side propped up on the bed. Pulling at the little note in the center, she lifted it to read the inscription.  _For you._ Mercedes excitedly lifted the lid off the box and saw the most beautiful dress. It was a teal asymmetrical dress with an empire waist that flowed to right above the knees—the same dress Mercedes feel in love with when she was shopping last month with Chloe. She rushed to try it on, shocked by how perfect the fit was. Taking a quick shower and applying light make up she put her hair in a simple chignon that looked deceptively intricate and applied Sam's favorite perfume to her pulse points. Mercedes took one more look in the mirror before grabbing her clutch and heading out the door to meet Sam.

They picked the perfect time to arrive. The dinner rush was over and the restaurant was quiet. The soft candles and intimate ambiance made her feel like they were the only ones there. Sam told the hostess his last name and they were ushered past the dining tables. She was a little confused as to why the maître d led them to the back of the restaurant but her breath caught once he opened the doors. There was a table set for two directly in front of a covered gazebo. Sam looked down and smiled at the surprised look on her face. The dim lighting, the way the fireflies danced in the clear night sky and the fragrant gardenias lining the fence behind the gazebo was completely and utterly romantic. She closed her eyes, reveling in the way the cool spring breeze made the flowers smell especially aromatic. It was beyond anything she could have ever imagined, completely sentimental and was perfectly Sam.

He led her to the table and pulled her chair out. On this table there was a huge book bound by a big red ribbon. She smiled once she saw the cover. She would always be able to recognize one of Sam's illustrations. It was him standing behind her while she wore his comically too big coat and wrapping his arms around her pregnant belly. In the background there was the American redwood she planted for him and she was staring at the tree and he bent over to kiss her neck. The detail was so similar to the memory she gave a watery smile when she saw him holding the sobriety coin in the picture.

Giving him a chaste kiss, she looked into his eyes. "This is one of my favorite memories."

He briefly rested his forehead on hers. The ring was burning a hole in his pocket, but he wanted this to be perfect so he tried to reign in his impulsiveness. "Mine too."

Flipping to the first page she saw a picture of her and Sam in the hospital with their parents hovering over their incubators.

_It all started 24 years ago when a sick little boy met a girl who would change his life forever. Their connection was formed at birth._

She looked up at him for a moment and melted when she saw the glossy look of unshed tears in his eyes. He was so perfect.

Turning the page, she saw an illustration of her hugging Sam on their first day of kindergarten.

_And grew in a Houston kindergarten class._

The cover on the gazebo creaked as it drew open revealing Audrey and Dwight dressed as oversized 5 year olds. Audrey even had young Mercedes' signature pigtail puffs. Dwight had on short overalls with a striped shirt and parted his hair so it flopped in his face. They looked ridiculous and she saw Sam stifling his laughter but she was touched they made fools of themselves for her. Mercedes smiled brightly looking out at her family reenacting her first encounter with Sam in kindergarten. She missed them dearly and just being around them made her happy. It was the sweetest surprise she had ever gotten. She looked up at Sam adoringly and saw his love reflected in his soft gaze. Mouthing her gratitude to him, she reached for his hand again.

Sam placed his other hand in his pocket and fidgeted with the ring box. He was sure he wanted the woman sitting across from him to be his wife. He wasn't so sure she wanted to make that commitment, as she was notoriously hard to hold on to. The only thing he was sure of was that he couldn't wait any longer. "There's more."

_It blossomed in Chicago…_

Turning the page she gently touch the illustration, which she saw reflected on the gazebo stage. There was a welcome banner just as there was 14 years ago and now Stevie was playing Sam while Stacy played Mercedes. Stevie had a guitar that he pretended to play and without words Stacy captured 10-year-old Mercedes perfectly.

It was then her heart started racing. Everything began to click for Mercedes and she understood Sam's intentions. She couldn't even look over at him for fear it was all a dream. This had been surreal and she didn't want it to end although, she couldn't wait for it to end because then she would be Sam's fiancée.

_Flourished in Ohio…_

Flipping the page she saw a bunch of scattered pictures. It was a collage of their lives in Ohio. He drew a picture of a guitar lesson in their secret place, of Mercedes getting detention because she laughed too hard during class looking at a note Sam wrote for her, of a picnic they had by the lake, and of their hot air balloon ride. Every picture was painstakingly detailed. It was as if Sam committed every sight, sound, touch and feeling of every moment they shared to memory. In every picture, he was smiling. Mercedes was mesmerized by that smile. It was the smile that let her know she was going to love Sam Evans forever. Every time she saw it her heart stopped a little. She remained looking at the book and only diverted her attention when Sam cleared his throat. Looking up, she saw her family surround the table with guitars. They began to strum (or pretend to strum in Gabe, Audrey and Stevie's cases)  _Good Morning Starshine_. She just wanted to be close to him, to let him know how thankful she was that he orchestrated all of this. He gently shook his head motioned for her to turn the page.

_And was solidified in Houston._

She turned the page and there was another series of pictures highlighting their lives in Houston. This montage included Gabe taking his first steps, them laughing and sharing a drink at their coffee shop during their freshman finals, Sam and Mercedes' graduation, and them meeting for lunch to walk through the park near their apartment.

Every day that boy grew hopelessly in love with the girl and every day that girl became his home. He has loved her and placed her above all others. He has protected her and fought for their relationship. They've already lived such a rich life. There was only one thing left to do to make their family complete. She read the last line aloud:  _Now all that's left for two souls intertwined is for you to say yes and truly be mine._

Following the instructions from the book, she looked down to find Sam kneeling before her.

He began to speak in a voice riddled with emotion. "You saved my life and brought me a happiness I never knew existed. You own every part of me, except my last name, and tonight in front of our family, I want to ask you to take that too so we can make legal what's already been bound by our hearts. Sweetheart, will you marry me?"

Mercedes was speechless. Her heart swelled at the thought that this man kneeling before her, this man who she loved and trusted with her whole heart loved her too. In fact, he loved her enough to want to be her husband. She was so used to wearing a mask, of losing a part of herself to accommodate everyone else. Loving Sam gave her the freedom to be herself and the knowledge that someone loved her as she was. Words failed as she enthusiastically nodded and her hands flew to the sides of her mouth in surprise.

Sam didn't want to look up at her for fear her answer might be no. After a minute of silence, he felt her pulling him up and wrapping her arms around him. She nodded her yes into his chest and murmured her yeses against his skin. Finally opening his eyes at her affirmation, his heartbeat began to steady and he exhaled while slipping the ring on her finger. The cushion cut yellow gold diamond solitaire shone brightly against her brown skin.

She cupped his cheek and kissed him tenderly before their family swarmed them.

"You and me," she asked in her usual way.

"Always," he automatically responded, kissing her hand.


	27. Altar Meetings

She was a nervous wreck. It was time for her final fitting and these damn wheatgrass shakes tasted like punishment. She would rather starve before ever drinking another one. Imagining the shakes tasted like cheeseburgers or something remotely edible started losing its effect after the second shake. But it was worth it. She wanted to look her best and if a little discipline up front helped her achieve her goal, she was all for it. She hadn't seen the dress in weeks and wanted to make sure everything was tailored per her instruction. She wasn't the least bit nervous about marrying Sam, but the preparation was killing her. When you're young and planning your wedding, you think everything will align exceeding your dreams. You can't fathom anything going wrong. But that wasn't the reality for Mercedes. This wedding would be the Murphy's Law of all weddings. Nothing was going her way. Having a short engagement was proving to be troublesome as venues were already booked and reserved months (or in some cases years) in advance. She hadn't seen her dress for weeks and there was little room for error of any kind.

The seamstress slowly unzipped the finished product with shaky hands. She had experience with difficult brides and could easily admit that Mercedes was by far her most difficult.

Mercedes' silence was making her heart race; she knew that if Mercedes was quiet now she would rage later-the calm before the storm. After a minute of watching the petite bride-to-be stir in her own juices, she flinched when Mercedes finally exploded. "Are you  _trying_  to make me look bad? I trusted you, and you betrayed me. Four weeks ago I sat in this shop and picked out my dream dress. How in the hell did the orders get mixed up?" She pulled the dress from the bag and brought it to her former seamstress' face. The tacky turquoise dress with a thigh-high split and rhinestones were the furthest thing from what Mercedes ordered and was certainly not the object of her desiderata. "Does this look like a wedding dress to you? Does this look like the vintage lace cap sleeved satin side-draped A-Line gown with the small train that I paid an extra $300 to have express shipped from France?" Mercedes knew she was being ridiculous and maybe a little dramatic. She could admit that maybe she was misplacing her stress around the short timeline but she paid $3500 for her dream dress. Now she had this ugly dress with no time to get her dress back. She was back at square one. "You ruined everything."

"I'm so sorry Ms. Jones. The boutique in France sent the wrong dress and it will take a few weeks to get the right one. Please accept my sincerest apologies. We will refund all of your costs. Again I am so sorry."

Then the tears fell. Lately, Mercedes had been extremely emotional and everything that went wrong in this wedding was making her cry. Sam couldn't comfort her. He never knew what to do when she cried. After he caught her curled up in bed when their DJ unexpectedly canceled he sent an SOS call to his mother and Audrey. Luckily they dropped everything and were here helping Mercedes as the wedding drew near.

Consoling her daughter, Audrey ran a soothing hand up and down her back while Mary directed them out the store. "Don't worry baby, I'll handle it." Mary leaned over and whispered in her friend's ear "I don't know about you but I can't wait until this madness is over." Audrey looked back at her friend and nodded in emphatic agreement.

At the tailor, Sam was faring much better. He liked the first suit he tried on and it fit perfectly. Gabe, Stevie, Mason, Santos, Dwight, and Baz had similar experiences and the group was done in under an hour. He felt a little guilty that everything was easy for him when he knew Mercedes was stressed over everything going wrong. Sam didn't need all the fanfare—he would marry her whenever and wherever she wanted. Just thinking about it had him sporting the goofiest permanent grin. Seeing everyone in their suits just confirmed everything. He was marrying Mercedes Jones, the girl that owned his heart, in a week. His family would finally be complete.

* * *

 

A week later and a nervous Mercedes was pacing on the hardwood floor, the sounds of her footsteps reverberating loudly in the hallowed church.

Audrey came into the bride's quarters beaming when she presented her daughter with her dress. Mercedes was confused. Instead of her dream dress, she had to buy the knockoff watered-down version, so why was her mom so happy to hand her this consolation dress? She gasped when she unzipped the garment bag. It was her dress—the dress she painstakingly scoured for weeks to find and obtain. Never letting her eyes leave it and carefully running her fingers through the intricate beading she asked with tears in her eyes, "how?" Audrey looked at her daughter and hugged her tightly. "I told you I'd handle it." And handle it she did. After the dress debacle, she went back to the bridal store and threatened the seamstress within an inch of her life to divulge the address in France where her daughter's dress was. After a few minutes and some colorful language, the seamstress gave Audrey the information she sought and Audrey took it upon herself to negotiate with the boutique and pay to have her daughter's dress shipped. It took three days and a thousand dollars but her baby was going to get the dress of her dreams. Slightly pulling out of the embrace she grabbed her daughter's face. "I'm so proud to be your mother. I want you to take a deep breath and not worry about anything. In a few hours you're going to be Mrs. Sam Evans." Mercedes looked up at her mom and squealed. She felt the tension leave her body at the thought of being Sam's wife. "Thank you, mom."

The others crowded around Mercedes and Audrey—Mary, Stacy, Chloe, Natalie, Rosa, and Lily creating a big group hug. Everyone was giggling and chatting, the mood was a lot lighter than it had been in previous weeks. Mercedes smiled as she looked around. Audrey and Mary were huddled close, confiding in each other. Lily was practicing her flower girl duties. Chloe and Natalie were admiring their dresses and laughing at a giddy Stacy who was twirling in her dress in the middle of the room. When they got the call to file out and begin lining up they heard a knock on the door. Dwight came in and surveyed the ladies. With a low whistle, he commented, "looking good ladies" to which Mary playfully swatted his arm. He leaned over and kissed her cheek. Addressing them all he began. "I hope you all don't mind but I'd like a minute alone with Mercedes."

He smiled at her. "Starshine you look gorgeous. You're radiant."

"Thanks, Mr. Evans."

"You know you can call me dad." He pulled out a small piece of paper and handed it to her. "I just wanted to pass on a blessing to you." For some reason this wedding was proving to be emotional; he was happy for Sam and Mercedes but felt a little wistful that his son was growing up and Mercedes wouldn't need him anymore. She smiled and waited for him to clear his throat.

"Now you will feel no rain  
For each of you will be shelter to the other.  
Now each of you will feel no cold  
For each of you will be warmth to the other.  
Now there is no loneliness for you  
For each of you will be companion to the other.  
Now you are two persons  
But there is one life before you.  
Go now to your dwelling place to enter into the days of your togetherness  
And may your days be good and long upon the earth."

**_-Apache Wedding Blessing_ **

She leaped up and hugged him, trying not to cry. "I'm so happy you're my family."

He laughed. "You've always been my family Starshine. It just took that knucklehead too long to make it official." She laughed and defended Sam as he kissed her cheek. "I love you Starshine."

"I love you too."

"Your father's on the other side of the door. What do you say we get you married?"

She nodded and fixed her dress in the mirror one last time thankful that she endured those trifling shakes. The dress fit her like a glove.

She heard a knock at the door and walked over to it cautiously, knowing it wasn't her father.

He stood at the door and placed his forehead there with one of his hands against the panels. Little did he know his bride to be was on the other side mirroring his stance.

"Mercedes?"

"Yeah?"

Sam heard her voice and relaxed. He hadn't realized just how much he needed to hear her in this moment. He knew they made strides but her natural penchant for running away always scared him into believing this day would never come. Nevertheless, here she was completely open to being his wife.

"I love you."

She smiled and blew out a deep breath.

"I love you too."

He smiled and wondered why her words caused his heart to race. "I can't wait for you to be my wife." He tapped his fingers on the door.

"Me neither." She beamed and held her stomach. Her nerves were making her nauseous all day.

"Look down." He slid a piece of paper under the wooden door.

She unfolded the picture. "Gabe was getting antsy and decided to draw you a picture."

"It's perfect." She folded the picture and slipped it in her bouquet. "We're really doing this?"

"I can't believe I held off this long." Mr. Jones tapped his shoulder and gestured to his watch. "I got to go Jellybean. There's this amazing woman I'm about to marry."

She chuckled. "You don't want to keep her waiting. I love you Hulk."

The next time she saw Sam she was walking out arm in arm with her father. As soon as she heard the procession, her heart swelled. The cynic in her wanted to believe this was all some cruel joke but when she saw the look in his eyes she knew she had everything she dreamed of—love, security,  _family_. She watched as he blew out a breath, his eyes never leaving hers and his hands were clenched. His expression made her smile, which made him smile and soon enough they both looked like grinning idiots.

They'd managed to keep their composure until they read off their vows. They seemed to be in this unspoken game of one-upmanship to see which one would crack first.

Sam took her hands and leisurely rubbed his thumbs along her palms before he began. "You own every piece of me, I hope you take comfort in knowing all that I have is yours, just as all that you have is mine. I don't even know how to give you less than all of me. I have loved you before I met you and our hearts were always entwined. Your love gave me freedom; your heart gave me peace. In you I am whole."

"You taught me what love and devotion were and I thank God every day for the greatest gift you ever could have given me." Smiling towards his son, he struggled to keep his tears at bay. Gabe, however, was too enthralled with his shoelaces to notice. "I know how to live without you, but I choose to be with you because you've enhanced every part of my life, making every good thing great and every great thing better. You've made me better. I know my everything is safe in your care. Who would have thought all those years ago when I gave my best friend my most valuable thing I was really giving her my heart?"

Mercedes was done. She tried so hard not to cry but the emotions of the day coupled with the beauty of his words had her bawling. She was thankful for waterproof mascara as she tried to collect herself before speaking. When she opened her mouth she was surprised by the emotion laced in her words. She reached for his hand again and looked into his glassy eyes. "I could tell you the exact moment I knew you were it for me. It was our junior year and we were in Mrs. McAllistar's class. My father had just smashed my guitar and we weren't talking. I must have looked miserable because you slid our notebook on my desk in the middle of the lesson. I remember staring at you and you just looked down at the notebook. All I saw were blank pages until I looked at the bottom. There were all these little illustrations and when I flipped through them it became were a story of a boy giving a crying girl a flower, which made her smile. Do you remember what you wrote on the last page?"

She looked at him and her heart melted at the love she saw reflected in his eyes.

"I said I hope this makes you smile because your smile is so beautiful and bright that it has the power to warm and light the coldest, darkest heart."

Never losing their gaze she kissed his hand. "I never told you because I was mad at you," she paused to playfully roll her eyes, "but that made my whole day. Then again that's what you always do. You always know how I feel and how to comfort me. Now I can't even have a bad day because I know I get to come home with you. I don't even know how to be sad. I barely existed before I met you. I know I didn't make it easy on you, but you loved me anyway through my self-doubt. You've proven love is stronger than anything. Loving you and being Gabe's mom are my greatest accomplishments. You kept the darkness and fear away. You restored my faith in love. You are love and light and life. Thank you for showing me what devotion looks like. Thank you for treasuring my heart. I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives showing you how much you mean to me."

She sniffled when she was done and realized she wasn't the only one having trouble checking her emotions. Sam had tears in his eyes and Dwight was subtly dabbing the corners of his eyes with his handkerchief. Audrey was out and out sobbing. Carl kept looking at his wife but Mercedes noticed his eyes watering. Mary had her hand over her heart and Stevie surreptitiously wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

When the minister finally announced them, husband and wife, they were elated. Sam grabbed Mercedes and kissed her with wanton abandon. They didn't pull apart until they heard Gabe express his disgust. The newlyweds looked at their son, who covered his eyes, and giggled while Mercedes rested her head on Sam's chest.

The reception was in a big white canopy tent that provided the perfect contrast to the dark star-filled night. Sam and Mercedes couldn't get enough of each other. If they weren't smiling or kissing each other he was nuzzling her neck and whispering in her ear. When the music began she pulled Sam up, even as he resisted and they danced in the middle of the floor while everyone soon followed suit. As she danced with Gabe the little boy, who had boundless energy moments ago, began to become lethargic. She scooped him up and held him close. "Did you have fun today?"

Wiping a tired hand over his eyes, he yawned. "Yeah. I just don't get what the big deal is." He shrugged.

"Well me, you and your daddy are a family now."

"But Mama, we were already a family."

Mercedes kissed her little boy. "You're right, but today we celebrated that."

"Oh," the little boy supplied as he drifted to sleep on her shoulder.

She set him down and took a minute to look over everyone. They all seemed to be having fun. Baz and Chloe were dancing closely and smiling affectionately while Carl and Mary danced together and teased their emotional spouses. Stacy was dancing with Santos, who she found to be extremely cute while Rosa twirled a giddy Lily. Natalie held a sleepy Gabe, swaying him from side to side delicately. Even Stevie who couldn't dance was doing the robot to his own little rhythm. Her older brother Mason was sitting by the open bar shamelessly flirting with the brunette bartender. They had all come so far and made it through together. Shaking her head she walked over to Stevie and asked him to dance. The teen eagerly took her hand, even trying to twirl and dip his new sister-in-law. She laughed at his zeal. Mercedes danced with everyone before the night was over. Her feet were sore but she loved every minute of it.

As Mercedes took a minute to catch her breath, Sam walked towards his new wife and bent down to reclaim his spot on her neck. "May I have this dance, _Mrs._ Evans?" He offered his hand with flourish and smiled when she giggled. "Yes, you may Mr. Evans." He led her out the tent onto the grounds where lighting accented the stone pathway. Holding her close, he whispered in her ear. "Thank you for making my dreams come true." She responded by grabbing his collar to pull him down and planted a passionate kiss on his lips. He wrapped his arms around her waist spinning her around, chuckling when he heard her squeal.

He set her down when he heard a throat clearing behind them. Turning they found Mr. DeAngelis standing with an envelope in his hand. He went over and greeted the newlyweds—shaking Sam's hand and kissing Mercedes on the cheek. "I'm so happy for you Sweetpea. I actually have something for you." He handed the envelope to Mercedes and gave her a hug. "Congratulations. Your trust is now fully accessible."


	28. Return to Kindergarten Pt. II

 

Everything seemed to be moving at warp speed for Sam and Mercedes. After getting married and gaining full access to her inheritance, the husband and wife moved out of their 3 bedroom condo in search of a bigger house that would accommodate their growing family. That was another change—Mercedes found out she was pregnant and Sam was eager to be there during the early stages of her pregnancy since he wasn't (through no fault of his own) around for Gabe's. Speaking of Gabe, he just started kindergarten and his mother was having a hard time letting go and accepting that her baby was growing up. And Sam, well he finally found his niche and was making a name for himself in Houston through his non-profit which bought run-down houses and fixed them up for homeless families. Remembering having to live in a motel he wanted to make sure no other families were ever forced out of their homes, especially those that didn't have a strong support system like his family found in the Jones'. His new venture also meant working tirelessly while he awaited the grant he applied for to give him more staff.

Sam surveyed their larger room and sighed. He was still uncomfortable about the money they had now, but besides buying a house and an impromptu surprise visit to Lima and Cedar Point their lives went on as they had before. They were still in the process of moving and had boxes scattered around. Sam put unpacking on his never-ending list of things to do and made his way down the steps to find his wife crying on the couch. Walking up to her he placed a chaste kiss on her lips and wiped the tears from her eyes. He sat next to her and held her close. She was watching some slideshows of Gabe on the TV. "I can't believe my baby is in kindergarten."

With eyes full of mirth, they watched various images of their lives displayed on the screen. The first was of a four-year-old Gabe feeding and chasing the chickens on his great-grandparents' farm. She laughed at her son's reaction in the next picture when the chickens started chasing him.

The slideshow continued with a picture that was taken a few months ago and was of Gabe's excited face at the carnival. The acrobats were doing their bit and Gabe sat there in awe, mesmerized from beginning to end. In the corner of the picture was Sam mimicking the look on his son's face.

Another flashed and they were apple picking at a nearby farm. Gabe's eyes were wide with wonder as he tried to lift the 50-pound pumpkin they had on display at the end of the hay maze. Later Mercedes snapped a shot of her son sitting on that pumpkin and flexing his non-existent muscles.

Hundreds of images flashed on the screen: of times they went camping, water balloon fights, bubble beards and hats in the tub, barbecues and zoo trips. The last image made Mercedes' heart melt and was responsible for her latest crying fit. It was of Sam, Mercedes, and Gabe dancing at their wedding. Their little trio was soon becoming a quartet and Mercedes wasn't so sure everyone was thrilled about it.

That was another change—Gabe was no longer interested in having a little sibling which Sam and Mercedes were shocked to find out a few days ago.

_FLASHBACK_

_Mercedes had just picked Gabe up after his second day of kindergarten and started dinner. He was in better spirits than he was the day before, in fact, the boy was downright giddy. Mercedes fed off her son's excitement, knowing he would be thrilled to find out he would soon be a big brother. As Gabe ate, humming along happily, Sam and Mercedes looked at each other before Sam made the announcement. "Guess what Gabe."_

_The little boy diverted his attention to his parents, curious as to why they were so excited. "What?"_

_Sam laced his fingers with Mercedes as they both shouted simultaneously, "You're going to be a big brother!"_

_The parents looked at their son in excited anticipation. After all this time he was finally getting what he wanted. They expected hugs, tears, kisses anything other than his actual response of "Oh."_

_Mercedes spoke up. "Oh? Did you hear what we said? You're going to be a big brother. Gordon, which by the way is not going to be this baby's name, is coming soon."_

_He looked up from his plate and nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders. "Okay. I guess that's cool, but I was happy without Gordon. I don't need a little brother anymore. Lauren doesn't have a little brother or sister."_

_END FLASHBACK_

That began Gabe's incessant chatter about Lauren. The little boy was so enamored with his new friend that she was all he talked about.

It came as no surprise that one of the first things Gabe did his first weekend in school was invite his new friend over to his new house. The excited boy bounded down the steps in his socks barreling through the living room and sliding on the cherry hardwood floors. When he saw his parents on the couch he jumped to greet them. Taking in his mother's solemn face and tear- stained cheeks his smile dropped. Grabbing her cheeks in his little hands he asked: "what's wrong mommy?"

She smiled and laid her legs in her husband's lap. "Nothing baby. Mommy's being silly." He wiped her tears gently until he heard a knock at the door. Jumping off his mother's lap he pulled his father up so they could answer the door.

"She's here! She's here," Gabe exclaimed as they made their way to the door. Opening the door, Sam found an equally excited five-year-old who pulled his son into a hug. They were so excited to see each other their conversations and giggles began at a frequency only dogs could hear. They ran past Mercedes and out the door to the backyard giggling and holding hands along the way.

Sam heard Mercedes sigh and offered her a lopsided grin. He held his hand out as they silently walked toward the backyard. There they were standing in the doorway overlooking the yard watching Gabe and his friend running and playing. Sam leaned down and whispered in her ear, "do those two remind you of anyone?"

Mercedes looked up and playfully swatted her husband's firm chest. "You bite your tongue, Sam Evans! Gabe is too young to be thinking about that." He smirked and dramatically rubbed his chest. "Yeah, whatever. I wasn't." He bent down and kissed her lips.

"That's cause you're a perv." She smiled into his kiss, marveling at the magnetic connection she still felt every time he touched her.

He took his hand and rested it on her stomach as they watched Gabe and Lauren run around their spacious backyard. "Only for you sweetheart. Always for you."

 


End file.
